The SmarK Rant for WCW Power Hour – 02.09.91
Taped from Augusta, GA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously
Tommy Rich v. John Peterson
BREAKING NEWS: Tommy just got back from a very successful hunting trip in the Pacific Northwest. I wonder if he recruited any lumberjacks while he was there? Holy crap what if that really was the backstory behind Big Josh and no one realized it until I broke the story here decades later? Rich works the arm and puts Peterson down with a kneelift for two, as Paul notes that Tommy really wants to win some gold on the comeback trail, and apparently his best shot at doing so is teaming with Junkyard Dog and Ricky Morton and going for the six-man titles. Well that’s just sad. Rich gives the jobber about 4 different setups for the finish and Peterson keeps failing to move into position for the Lou Thesz, so Rich readjusts him with irish whips until he finally hits his finish at 3:20. Now this is the 1991 WCW I know and tolerate.
The Steiner Brothers v. THE MASTER BLASTERS
Holy shit it’s really happening! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Kevin Nash has already grown his hair out since his last appearance on this show two weeks ago, and he brawls to the floor with Rick and they brawl while Scott just casually murders Blade and puts him away with the Frankensteiner at 1:00. Man, they should repackage this Nash kid, literally any other gimmick they could think up would be better than what he’s stuck with here. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. Just try to screw that one up, WCW. Afterwards the Freebirds attack the Steiners, and I’m sure that’ll work out fine for them and not cause any dilations of time and space or whatever.
Meanwhile, Sting tries to explain the concept of Wargames to us and makes it sound way more confusing than it is.
Sid Vicious v. Todd Galinia
Todd looks like a 70s progressive rock band member, but not like the lead singer, maybe a bass player. Meanwhile JR continues teasing me with this upcoming Omni main event of Sid Vicious & Stan Hansen v. Sting & Lex Luger that I’ll never get to see. Sid puts the doofus away with the powerbomb at 1:15. They try to haul the guy away on a stretcher afterwards and Sid beats up the EMTs and dumps the stretcher on the jobber as well while Paul quips “Paging Dr. Howard and Dr. Fine” in some delightfully understated Three Stooges reference.
The Freebirds v. Flyin Brian & Brad Armstrong
Fun fact: Brad ended up as a member of the Freebirds as Fantasia/Badstreet a few months after this. I know, mind blowing. On the bright side, it wasn’t any worse than being “The Candyman” and literally trying to lure children at ringside into cheering for him by giving them treats. Brad escapes the Freebirds’ opening stall and backdrops Hayes before slugging away in the corner, and Pillman comes in for a double elbow as Hayes quickly develops his allergy to doing shit in matches and runs away for the tag. Pillman works a headlock on Garvin and the Freebirds retreat again, but Armstrong hauls him in and the babyfaces work on his arm. But then Pillman gets clobbered from behind by Hayes, and PS hauls him to the floor for his FAMOUS LEFT HAND and Garvin adds the kneelift on the apron to send Pillman into the railing for his usual bump. What the fuck is with all this “wrestling” and “bumping” stuff in a FREEBIRDS match? Don’t these clowns know that you’re just supposed to do shtick and run around the ring in fear of the DDT for 10 minutes? Pillman reverses a suplex on Hayes and makes the hot tag to Brad, who cleans house with dropkicks and rams the Freebirds together, which sets up Air Pillman on both Freebirds. Armstrong with a flying bodypress on Garvin, but Hayes DDTs Brad and puts Garvin on top for the pin at 6:21. An entertaining and fast paced Freebirds match? That’ll never catch on. ***1/4.
WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!
Meanwhile on the Main Event, TV champion Tom Zenk goes to a draw with Terry Taylor, but Taylor shockingly turns on him afterwards, even though Terry had already turned heel and joined the York Foundation on Clash of Champions prior to this airing. Also, new WCW manager Diamond Dallas Page debuts and apparently has a new tag team of rookies he discovered in an Atlanta gym, that he wants to test out by putting them in the ring with the World tag team champions. So Teddy Long agrees to give them workout with Doom next week and even take it easy on them. Man, who would have thought that DDP’s career would proceed from here and end up where it did?
Doom v. John Faulkner & Greg Sawyer
It still blows my mind that Doom are the longest reigning tag team champions in NWA history. Reed quickly hits Sawyer with a shoulderblock for two and then beats on him with SOUP BONE RIGHTS and dumps him to the floor for a trip to the post. Back in the ring, Reed with a suplex for two and he picks the guy up, and Simmons comes in and brings in the other guy to beat on him as well. Powerslam gets two but Long wants him picked up again, so Ron adds a piledriver for two and Long wants some more. Ron looks annoyed by this, which actually paid off. A catapult under the ropes gets two, but Long wants more punishment and Ron gets more annoyed with him. Ron keeps going for the pin and Reed actually breaks it up himself and then comes in with a punch off the middle ropes and drops an elbow for two. Reed is happy to pick the jobber up, and Ron comes in again with the spinebuster but Long wants him finished further. So Reed hits him with the flying shoulderblock and finally pins him at 4:41. I’m amazed they actually had a direction for them and it paid off where we expected.
Barry Windham v. Carl Robertson
Windham gets a backdrop and gutwrench for two, and then hauls him to the floor and clotheslines him out there. Back in the ring, Barry takes him to the top and finishes him off with the superplex at 3:10. Pretty lethargic for Windham here.
WrestleWar 91: Win a VCR! Or a hat!
WCW World TV title: Tom Zenk v. Arn Anderson
This match is of course from weeks before and they’ve finally decided to air it. Arn takes him down as JR hypes an upcoming show with “35 stars in Anderson SC”. Sounds more like Kenny Omega doing a one night tournament in the Tokyo Dome, AM I RIGHT FELLAS? HIGH FIVE! Anyone? Anyway, Zenk works a headlock on Arn, who complains about hair-pulling to the ref so that’s typically a tell that he’s not exactly giving it 100% tonight. Arn bails and stalls for time, but Zenk trips him up and works the leg by wrapping it around the post. Back in, Zenk works a headlock again, but Arn hits him in the gut. So Zenk takes him down with a figure-four and follows with a dropkick for two. Small package for two. Bodypress follows, but Arn rolls through and pins him with his feet on the ropes to regain the title at 6:00. This was strictly a night off for Arn. **. Also the title change ended up being pretty pointless, as really it was just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic before Steve Austin showed up in May and ended up with the title for good. They probably could have just kept it on Zenk and made the switch to Austin all the more meaningful by having him beat someone dominant.
A fairly noteworthy show this week! That’s a nice change of pace.