The SmarK Rant for WCW Power Hour – 02.02.91
Taped from Macon, GA, I think? Maybe Columbus?
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously
Tim Horner v. Mike Samples
Horner takes him down with a hammerlock and gets two, but Samples gets all BOWED UP on him. So Horner dropkicks him and grabs an armbar, going to work on that and rolls him over for two. Paul E actually gives props for the arm-wrestling match on the Clash that didn’t go his way, although he mostly just acknowledges that he was great, 100%, no notes. Samples goes to the eyes to escape all those armbars, Tim puts him down with a snap suplex and then dodges an irish whip attempt and rolls him up for the pin at 3:57. Horner was, as always, the whitest of white meat babyfaces.
Ricky Morton & Junkyard Dog v. Mark Kyle & Joe Cazana
It’s the Rock & Big Lazy Fat Guy Express! Don’t think that one ever caught on. Dog chases Kyle out of the ring with slams and it’s over to Cazana, who is quickly dominated by Morton with armdrags. So here’s a bit more weirdness from WCW, as they hype the Luger v. Spivey match coming up and frame it as “Stan Hansen’s partner Dan Spivey”, but completely ignore any connection to the much more famous Skyscrapers team for whatever reason. They had just done a reunion match at Starrcade 90! Dog comes in and beats on Kyle with headbutts, but he misses one and lands on the mat. So Cazana comes in and Dog makes his own comeback, and Morton comes in with a snap suplex and works the leg. Morton with a dropkick and Dog is like “Fuck that, I don’t leave my feet” and then finishes him off with the Thump instead at 5:10. These two had absolutely zero chemistry together and barely even interacted with each other.
Win a trip to WRESTLEWAR! Or a hat! Or a VCR!
Wrestling News Network! With Gordon Solie!
In case you haven’t heard, the main event of WrestleWar 91 will be WarGames, with Sting & The Steiners & Brian Pillman v. The Four Horsemen. So we go back to a recent World Championship Wrestling episode where they had the same match, but without the cage. And it quickly goes to a double countout, because they need some kind of, I dunno, CAGE to enclose the ring and ensure that no one escapes. Good thing they’re going to have one. Gordon suggests that the entire ring is going to be “surrounded by a dome”, which is absolutely not what it is. Maybe one of those indie groups should look at doing a big glass dome over the ring and giving guys motorcycles to drive around inside it and do stunts. Ric Flair promises that Sting will bleed, and sweat, until he surrenders. Well that sounds unpleasant.
Flyin’ Brian v. John Peterson
Pillman takes Peterson down with a monkey flip while Paul E. does a bit where he imitates Jon Lovitz from SNL and then laughs at his own jokes for the topper. That’s the key to any good heel. Pillman puts Peterson down with a hiptoss and dropkicks him for two, then drops an elbow on him and wraps him up in an STF, then takes him down and puts him in a headscissors. Paul helpfully informs anyone attending the PPV in Phoenix that it’s Green Card Night and all illegal aliens will be let in for free to see El Gigante. You just have to bring your velvet painting as proof of identity. Oh great, no one tell Kari Lake. PIllman with a dropkick and Air Pillman finishes at 4:25. A very dull squash but Paul was funny at least.
Sid Vicious v. Dave Johnson
Sid tosses the geek to the floor right away and beats on him out there while Jim Ross informs us that the Omni show coming up next week will feature Sid teaming up with STAN HANSEN. I don’t know or care who their opponents were, I HAVE TO SEE THAT. It’s like a buddy cop movie. One’s blind! One’s stupid! Powerbomb finishes at 1:00. A quick check reveals that it was against Sting & Lex Luger. Tremendous.
Lex Luger v. Magnum Force #1
Poor Magnum Force still don’t have names yet, although again this is the guy who has “Speedy” on his tights. Luger works him over and gets a small package for two, but Speedy fights back with forearms, which Luger no-sells. And Lex hits him with clotheslines and the powerslam before finishing with the Torture Rack at 3:00.
Beautiful Bobby v. Arn Anderson
This is clearly a different arena and a quick check reveals that it’s actually recycled from WCW Worldwide from the week before. Arn tries for the hammerlock and Eaton elbows out of that and reverses to his own hammerlock. Bobby takes him down with that while Paul notes that Bobby is out there fighting on his own with “no tennis rackets involved”, but Arn runs him into the turnbuckles to take over. Bobby slugs him down while Jim wants to stress that they’re supporting the President and his efforts in Iraq, while Paul thanks everyone in Mexico that’s sneaking over the border to support El Gigante. Eaton keeps working on the hammerlock on the mat as this is taking a while to get going, to say the least. Arn puts him down with a spinebuster and Eaton bails to the floor to regroup, so Arn hiptosses him out there and runs him into the post. Back in, Arn with the catapult under the ropes for two and he goes to the knucklelock, but Bobby fights out of that and Arn has a great look of terror on his face as Bobby hits him with a lariat to escape. Arn puts him down with a shot to the gut and puts the boots to him while Capetta calls 10:00 at 9:00. Eaton with a sleeper, but Arn reverses to his own, so Bobby runs him into the corner to break. Arn tries to go up with a pump splash and Bobby gets the knees up to block and hits him with the neckbreaker, and then goes up with the Alabama Jam, complete with great sell from AA. Bobby keeps coming and tries a piledriver, but Arn reverses him, so Bobby rolls him up and grabs the ropes, and then Arn grabs the ropes himself and reverses again for the pin at 10:45. Took a bit to get going but it ended up as a really good TV main event. ***1/4.
I’d call this one a disappointingly normal hour of TV during a time when WCW was batshit crazy on a regular basis. But I really enjoyed the Eaton-Anderson match and Dangerously was really hitting his stride on commentary at this point.