The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.22.23
For some reason the DVR has this one titled “Another Round” in the show description.
Live from Phoenix, AZ. I assume anyone who loses a match tonight will just lie about it and solicit funds from the fanbase to sue the winner.
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Excalibur & Taz
All-Atlantic title: Orange Cassidy v. Wheeler Yuta
We get a nice little recap of their history to give this some more gravitas, in as much as a match with Orange Cassidy can have any. Yuta goes for the handshake and Orange rolls him up for two, and then takes him down with a nice series of cradles and reversals for two. Yuta works for a leglock and rolls him up for two, and follows with a crucifix for two. This failure to win makes Yuta ANGRY and Claudio comes down to further stoke the fires of Wheeler, resulting in Yuta hitting a dive on Orange and then tossing him into the ringside table before dumping it over onto him. Into the post for good measure, and back in the ring for some chops, but Orange calls for a timeout and preps the pockets. So Yuta just beats the hell out of him with more chops, in no mood for any offbeat shenanigans tonight, but Orange fights back with the dropkick and rams Yuta into the turnbuckles.
Wheeler hits him with an enzuigiri and goes for the flying elbow, which gets two, and into a submission on the mat as Orange quickly makes the ropes. We take a break and return with Yuta continuing to batter Orange with clotheslines in the corner, but a diving splash misses. Orange makes another comeback, but Yuta quickly cuts him off with a brainbuster for two after dodging the Orange Punch. Yuta tries to kick Orange’s head in, but Orange uses the power of the hug to counter and puts Yuta onto the apron. Yuta keeps pulling himself back in and flows right into a german suplex. Orange counters that into a cradle for two, but Yuta uses the Mouse Trap cradle for two. This is too much for Orange and they slug it out, with Yuta even spitting his gum at Orange and sticking it right on his forehead, but they fight to a double down off that. They fight to the apron and Orange backdrops him out there, on THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and follows with a DDT to the floor.
Back in the ring, another DDT follows, but Yuta counters the Beach Break into a piledriver for two. They even trade hammer elbows and Yuta rolls him into the Seat Belt cradle for two, but Orange hits the Orange Punch for two. Beach Break gets two and now Yuta is really pissed, so Orange gives him an even harder Orange Punch to finish at 17:24. Man, I wasn’t feeling this lineup to start but HOT DAMN what an opener. ****1/2. Orange asks for a hug to celebrate a great match, but Claudio storms out again and he’s NOT about hugging, and Wheeler has to leave Orange hanging on that one.
Meanwhile, Renee chats with Hangman Page and Evil Uno, and Uno actually stands up for himself and tells Page to stop treating him like he’s not on Hangman’s level. Also, Renee’s outfit. No notes.
Ricky Starks joins us and he’s ready to move on from Chris Jericho. But he’s got an open contract for the PPV, and of course Jericho comes out to answer because HE didn’t say it’s over. But he’s not gonna answer the challenge because Starks wants it. So then Peter Avalon tries to answer the challenge, but Jericho lays him out and maybe he does want to accept the open challenge after all. But then Starks manipulates him into agreeing to leave the JAS backstage for the match. And luckily Ricky has a pen handy for making it official, while Jericho is pretty sure that he outsmarted Ricky. I liked this segment a lot, because everyone was asking how they could justify another match between them at the PPV, and here Jericho went and did it himself and it was some fun wrestling nonsense.
The Acclaimed v. Lee Moriarty & Big Bill
The point of Max’s rap seems to be that Stokely and his group can’t satisfy women, if I’m reading it correctly. Granted I’m not the best with hip hop interpretation. For the longest time I thought Gold Digger was about mining. Moriarty and Bill double-team Caster for a bit, but we take a break and return with Bowens getting a hot tag and hitting the guillotine legdrop while the Gunns watch from the ramp. Superkick for Big Bill, but he stops to SCISSOR UP with Daddy Ass, allowing Bill to boot them both. The Gunns come down and put the boots to Billy for good measure, but Caster runs Bill into the post while Moriarty DDTs Bowens for two. Bowens backslide gets two, and the Mic Drop finishes at 7:08. Nice little fun match, although I still don’t get why we need a four-way instead of just sticking with the feud that had the heat. **
Christian Cage joins Tony for an interview, but Jungle Boy immediately attacks him and lays him out before teasing a Conchairto. But he’s conflicted and Christian is just the kind of guy to punch someone in the nuts while they’re having a crisis of conscience.
Saraya v. Skye Blue
Skye is fired up and slugs away to start, but she goes up and Toni distracts her long enough for Saraya to bring her down. To the floor, where Saraya suplexes her, and back in for two. Skye wraps her up in an Octopus hold, but Saraya counters into a Paige Turner for two. Skye goes up with a crossbody and follows with a knee strike, but Storm takes the ref and Saraya finishes with the Scorpion hold at 3:44. Just a squash for Saraya, who continues to look totally out of place on this show. *
Bryan Danielson joins us for a promo, which is apparently being closed captioned from the script (complete with “Pause for cheers”) on the LED boards behind him? That feels like a pretty big production gaffe, but I’m sure Twitter will be totally cool about it and won’t overreact. MJF quickly interrupts and tells his sad story of proposing to his girlfriend, who left him because he’s unlovable. So then he address “Brie”, whoever that is, and threatens to send Bryan home to her with “early onset CTE”, which prompts an attack from Danielson. And they get into a wild brawl while the announcers make sure to hype the PPV date and main event.
Meanwhile, Jamie Hayter offers a three-way title shot to Ruby and Saraya at the PPV.
Tag Team Battle Royale:
Glad to see Aussie Open back on the show again. Hopefully they bring Ospreay with them. Preferably to the Winnipeg show. Usual battle royale stuff to start, but Mark Briscoe charges out and attacks Josh Woods on the floor, allowing Penta to eliminate Tony Nese with a Fear Factor on the apron. The Lucha Bros get rid of Daivari as well to eliminate Sterling’s guys. We take a break and return with Butcher and Blade dumping Aussie Open to end their night. Silver tosses the Blade, but Butcher drops Reynolds on the turnbuckle and he lands on the floor. Penta kicks Vance off the apron, but Rush dropkicks Penta out. Fenix sends him to the apron and punts him to the floor with the ropewalk. Silver gets tossed by Butcher to end the Dark Order. 2.0 throws out Danhausen, but he wasn’t in the match so he can still curse them, and the Best Friends throw them out. So we get a standoff between heels and faces with six left as we take another break.
Back with Butcher putting Fenix through the ropes and then stomping Dante out to the floor, but Fenix dumps Butcher, only for JJ to dump Fenix like a true troll. So this leaves Jarrett and Lethal against Trent. Trent fights them off and gets them both to the apron, but Satnam lends a hand, so Trent DDTs Lethal, and then walks into a Stroke. Jeff tosses him, but he stops to strut and Trent skins the cat. So Lethal throws him out again, but this time Trent lands on Orange Cassidy and comes back in again. So he dumps Lethal, but Satnam catches Jarrett and keeps him alive, allowing Jarrett to hit another Stroke and win the match at 18:37. A very entertaining battle royale, especially all the wackiness at the finish. You knew Jarrett and Lethal were gonna end up in the match, and frankly they deserve it way more than the Gunns anyway.
Oh and Young Bucks are facing Aussie Open on Rampage. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ bout.
Meanwhile, the House of Black would like to discuss things with the Elite on Friday.
Tony Khan joins Renee with an important announcement, which he passes off to Adam Cole. So he announces yet another hour of AEW programming, called AEW All Access, which I guess will be backstage stuff. I was hoping for an actual announcement of the ROH TV show, or a streaming service, or maybe A RELEASE DATE FOR THE DAMN VIDEO GAME ALREADY, but I guess another hour of people talking is…fine? I guess? I mean, of all the announcements he could have made, this was certainly…one of them.
Jon Moxley v. Evil Uno
Uno actually gets some offense to start and boots Mox in the corner before choking him out with the vest. They fight to the top and Mox goes for the mask to escape, but Uno boots him off the apron and follows with a pretty impressive cannonball to the floor. Moxley stomps his head into the stairs to take over again, leaving Uno knocked a bit loopy, and Moxley brutalizes him with crossfaces back in the ring, busting him open in the process. Ironically it’s a Moxley match and SOMEONE ELSE is bleeding. Uno fights back with a pair of piledrivers for two while Uno gushes blood from under the mask, but Mox gets the bulldog choke and Uno won’t tap. So Moxley sinks a rear naked and he’s out at 6:16. The Dark Order comes out to save, prompting a brawl with the BCC, and Hangman hits the ring with barbed wire to attack Moxley and THERE’S the Moxley blood we all know and tolerate on a weekly basis. Didn’t feel like Uno had any kind of realistic chance here and that’s pretty much how they booked it. **1/2.
This was one was looking like another swing and a miss in the previews, but it ended up being a solid double. The Phoenix crowd was hot all night and kept this one mostly entertaining from start to finish with a couple of notable exceptions.