The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 10.02.82
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your host is Bob Caudle
Sgt. Slaughter & Don Kernodle join us, and they’re the NEW World tag team champions, as Slaughter was bored from sitting at home on suspension and decided to go to Japan, where they were having a tournament for the title, and he called up Kernodle and told him to come to Japan. Slaughter claims that they beat “Giant Baba and Antonio Inoki” in the finals and Don Kernodle, who has been promoted from Private to his partner, pinned Inoki with his flying clothesline finisher to win the belts.
Just to clarify, literally every word of this explanation was a complete lie. Also now it’s clear that the new “TV title” from last week was just half of the tag team titles here.
Sgt. Slaughter & Don Kernodle v. King Parsons & Mike Davis
Parsons gets double-teamed by the heels and Kernodle holds him on the mat with a facelock, and then Sarge drops Parsons onto Kernodle’s knee on the apron and then puts him down with a back elbow for two. Kernodle with a neckbreaker for two as Paul Jones tells us on commentary that everyone watching should personally write them a letter thanking them for bringing the belts back to the territory. I’ll get right on that. Slaughter hits Davis with a series of gutbusters and then suplexes him onto the top rope. Davis gets a rollup on Kernodle for two, but Slaughter hits a Slaughter Cannon for two and then lets Kernodle come in with his own Cannon and finish things off at 7:00. Aw, suddenly Slaughter is treating his Privates with respect and letting them swell with pride of their own.
Jay Youngblood & Ricky Steamboat v. Ben Alexander & Ken Timbs
Steamboat & Youngblood quickly double-team Alexander with chops for two, but Timbs comes in and drops a knee on Youngblood for two. Alexander calls for a knee on the apron, but Youngblood whips Timbs into the knee and Steamboat comes in with more chops on Timbs to take over again. Youngblood with the assisted mule kick on Timbs, but he gets pulled back into the heel corner and Alexander works him over and follows with.a backdrop. Alexander misses an elbow and Steamboat comes in with more chops, but Alexander hits him with a kneelift and gets a cradle for two. Meanwhile Paul Jones accuses Steamboat of winning a bodybuilding contest by putting all his relatives on the judging panel. Huge if true. Steamboat beats Alexander down with more chops and slingshots Youngblood in with a splash for two. Youngblood drops the big chop and gets the pin at 5:00.
Jim Dalton & Juan Renoso talk some shit about Jack Brisco and Mike Rotundo before their impending tag team match tonight. They’re pretty confident, given that Rotundo is quite stupid and all.
Jack Brisco & Mike Rotundo v. Jim Dalton & Juan Renoso
Brisco quickly takes Dalton down with a slam and tries for the figure-four, but Dalton fights him off and brings Renoso in. Over to Rotundo, but Renoso takes him down with a chinlock. Dalton works on Rotundo’s arm while Paul Jones, who doesn’t like to spread gossip, has heard through the grapevine that Rotundo is going to challenge Dory Funk for that $100,000. This, he notes, is a ridiculous idea because Rotundo is actually a terrible wrestler despite everyone blowing smoke up his ass about his greatness. Dalton chokes Rotundo on the ropes and Jones is LAUGHING at the idea that this punk kid could ever challenge Dory Funk. Rotundo with the airplane spin to finish Dalton at 4:33. Nice of Brisco to let Rotundo have the win here and continue to build him up as the big babyface star of the territory.
Jimmy Valiant bursts into the table and he’s going, um, even more crazy without music. HE CAN’T SLEEP! HE CAN’T EAT! HE CAN’T FUNCTION! AND NOW HE’S GONNA KILL JOS LEDUC! I think that movie “Cocaine Bear” was based on how much blow Valiant did before this promo. And then Ricky Steamboat has to follow that and just kind of shrugs helplessly before doing a promo with Jay Youngblood and notes that they’re interested in challenging for those new NWA World tag team titles held by Slaughter & Kernodle. But then Wahoo McDaniel also wants a piece of Slaughter.
$100,000 Challenge match: Dory Funk Jr. v. Keith Larson
Week two of the Dory challenge, as the geek has to pin him within 10 minutes to win the money. Funk takes him down and works a headlock while Paul Jones continues to hang out on commentary like a party guest who won’t take the hint and keeps asking if you want to watch something on Amazon Prime. Dory takes Larson down and works a facelock while Paul Jones keeps making the same joke about how Rotundo should challenge Dory “by telegram and then hope that he never gets the telegram”. Who would listen to this guy and think he’d make a top manager for the territory? Actually I’ve heard that they tried to get rid of Jones over and over but he knew where all the bodies were buried and was too dangerous to let go. And given how scummy some of the people in the business were in 1982, that might not even be a metaphor. Jones with a double arm suplex for two. Larson makes a comeback with a biel out of the corner, but Funk puts him down with a backdrop suplex for two and follows with a piledriver for two. Jones notes that challenging Funk is like the “law of averages” and “if you walk In front of an airplane enough times, one of them will hit you.” Who walks in front of an AIRPLANE?!? Larson tries a charge in the corner and misses, hitting his knee in the corner, and Funk finishes him off with the spinning toehold at 6:38. Man, grabbing your knee in pain in front of a Texan is like throwing chum in shark-infested waters. And then Mike Rotundo jumps into the ring to prevent further damage to Larson, and make his claim to the next challenge presumably.
Ron Ritchie & Porkchop Cash chat with Bob at the desk before getting murdered shortly, which is the first time I’ve heard Ron get promo time on the show. Thankfully he got better than this later on in Stampede. Cash threatens to give Humperdink the “African soup bone”, and then clarifies he’s talking about a knuckle sandwich in case Bob didn’t catch the drift of what he was talking about there.
Greg Valentine & Jos Leduc v. Ron Ritchie & Porkchop Cash
Holy cow, it’s the first appearance of the House of Humperdink this week. Normally we’ve had four or fives promos from them by this point. Leduc beats on Ritchie and hits him with a SNUG knee to the gut and a nasty chop in the corner, and Valentine comes in with an atomic drop. Ritchie fights back on Leduc but he just gets hammered down again and Jos hauls him back into the heel corner and continues beating the bejesus out of him. So Ron gives it right back to Leduc and then Jos just chops him back down again. Finally poor Ron gets the tag to Porkchop, and he slugs away on Valentine while Paul Jones predicts he’ll go about 30 seconds and then get blown up and be done. And indeed, he runs wild a bit on Greg, but Valentine drops him with a backdrop suplex and brings Leduc back in again. He actually dropkicks Cash, and Valentine comes in with a back elbow and follows with a gut wrench for two. Cash wrestles his way out and brings Ritchie back in, and he throws his own chops on Valentine and Greg just lets him LAY IT IN. Holy CRAP. But then Valentine finally drops him with a suplex and it’s back to Leduc, who hits the huge backbreaker for the pin at 6:52. THIS WAS AWESOME. These dudes were out there laying in the leather like MEN and I’m here for it.
Jos Leduc and his new TV title are not afraid of Jimmy Valiant. He loves money and he loves pain, so Jimmy can come and try to take his title. Jos Leduc is kind of awesome in this run. Also, Greg Valentine thinks Wahoo is gutless and needs to put the US title up against him, and reminds us again that HE BROKE WAHOO’S LEG. Well we were all waiting for it. And we’re out.
Yeah this episode kind of ruled. Now we’re getting into the good stuff. But yeah, please make sure to at least check out Ron Ritchie getting turned into hamburger by Jos Leduc on this one if nothing else.