The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 05.18.90
Taped from Greenwood, SC
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously, who teases a return to managing after buying a “very big commodity” this week.
Mean Mark v. Dave Diamond & Lee Scott
Mean Mark has once again lost his last name, but retains the heart punch and Teddy Long. Paul is very impressed with Mean Mark thus far, and has been enjoying his matches while watching from his yacht in Scarsdale. I hope whoever sold him that yacht demanded full payment in cash up front. Mark hits Scott with a backbreaker to block a bodypress attempt, and then hauls Diamond in and beats on him with a delayed suplex as well. Teddy gets some cheapshots from the floor and Mark continues beating on both jobbers back in the ring before hitting a flying clothesline on Scott. Mark tosses him while JR admits that Lee “doesn’t have the shiniest won-loss record”, and Mark hits a dropkick on Diamond as this drags on. To the top for a ropewalk elbowdrop, and he finishes with the Heart Punch at 5:06. This was kind of a drag compared to Mark’s more energetic squashes since the repackaging.
WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!
Did you know that Capital Combat THE RETURN OF ROBOCOP is only mere HOURS away? It’s going to be momentous! And the Horsemen are going to be powerless to stop the onslaught of Sting in the main event. I think he meant Lex Luger there. He suggests having a party to watch the show because you’ll have a really good time doing so. Yeah sounds like Solie was having a really good time before this show with a big bottle of vodka. Also Lex Luger is apparently swearing to never ask for another title shot again if he loses this one. Man they promoted a LOT of matches based on Luger never getting another shot at Ric Flair again if he lost. That actually kind of annoyed me a lot by Bash 91, because I actually was one of the fans who paid attention to their dumb stips like that and remembered. I guess you could be all AKSHULLY about it and say that the NWA World title and WCW World title are different so the stip no longer applied by 1991 but that’s LOSER TALK. Also, all that being said, I know you were all wondering if we got another appearance from Ric Flair and his midlife crisis ponytail here, and the answer is a definitive YES.
The Freebirds v. Pat Rose & Ricky Nelson
If one of the announcers doesn’t make a joke about Ricky Nelson facing the “greatest rock n roll band of all time” then WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE? Hayes only has one gauntlet this week for some reason, while Paul E. explains that we’ve never seen a “corporal punishment” match before, and it’s totally unique and unlike an Indian strap match. It’s like a country whipping match, you see. But totally unique. Nelson gets an armdrag on Hayes after his usual histrionics, but Garvin comes in and backdrops him for two. Jim Ross actually reveals that he has one of those new “CD players” in case Paul wants to lend him some of the Freebirds’ albums. Like that will ever catch on. Nelson gets tossed and comes back in with a sunset flip on Hayes for two, but Hayes puts him down with the left, and Garvin drops knees for two. Over to Pat Rose and he doesn’t fare much better but gets a brief comeback on Hayes and slugs away in the corner. But then Hayes bulldogs him for two and goes to a chinlock. Rose fights out of that and Garvin puts him down and drops knees on him for two and then goes to another chinlock. We’re nearing 10 minutes for a match featuring PAT ROSE. Just DDT this geek and let me move on with my life. Hayes with a sleeper now and Rose actually gets a hope spot and fights out of it. So Garvin comes back in, and they DDT both goobers and pin them at 9:30. Good lord I did not need a 10:00 Freebird squash match on this show.
Lex Luger chats with Gordon and promises that if Flair can beat him in the steel cage with no Horsemen interference, he’ll walk over and shake his hand and declare him to be the better man.
The Great Debate: Jim Cornette conducts a debate between Rick Steiner and Teddy Long, leading up to the tag title match at the PPV where Robocop Returns. Anyway it’s a midly funny bit where Teddy “debates” by calling the Steiners stupid over and over and when Rick goes to retort, Cornette calls “time” after 10 seconds and lets Teddy rant again. And then of course Scott and Doom all run in and they brawl to end the segment.
We get BONUS FOOTAGE from Pro this week, as Fatu faces Norman, perhaps inspired by the gimmick of “goofy dancing fat guy” and filing it away for later. Samoan Savage runs in for the DQ, but Animal makes the save. Also LANCE RUSSELL on commentary? What fever dream is that?
Road Warrior Animal v. The Samoan Savage
Animal chases Savage to the floor while JR quips “What is he looking for, an INTERNATIONAL OBJECT?” So clearly it was now a running joke by this point. Back in the ring, Savage stalls for time and Animal chases him out of the ring again. Back in, Animal with a powerslam for two. He goes to work on the arm while Paul messes up the hotline number and then wonders why he never gets to do live hotline interviews. This leads JR to segue into plugging a STING AND ROBOCOP appearance on the Hotline, RIGHT NOW. Savage finally tosses Animal and runs him into the railing, and Paul notes that the SST is more comfortable outside of the ring because “they’re used to jungle warfare”. I’m dubious about the research behind that one. Savage goes up and Animal slams him off and makes the comeback with a shoulderblock for two, but Fatu runs in for the DQ at 7:06. And then Norman makes the save, but the House of Humperdink runs in for a 5-on-2 beatdown. All of this didn’t really leave me clear on what PPV match this was actually building to, but apparently it’s the Road Warriors & Norman v. Kevin Sullivan, Cactus Jack & Bam Bam Bigelow. Anyway this sucked and everyone in WCW was pretty done with the Road Warriors and their bullshit by this point, as Capital Combat was their farewell outside of some house shows to close out the month. Really going to the WWF in 1990 was the best for everyone concerned.
Next week: Paul E reveals his newest acquisition!
Well whatever quality improvements were carrying this show sure went away this week. They should let Paul E. Dangerously book it, I hear he might have a talent for it.