The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 02.03.23
Still taking me a bit to undo the muscle memory of “control-V” and switch to “command-V” for pasting and such, but day 2 of Macbook life is going fine. I LOOOOOOOOOVE the screen-switching with control-arrow.
Also thanks to the hard behind-the-scenes work of the site overlords for dealing with the various nonsense that was affecting the blog on Wednesday night. We now have a new custom Disqus script for the blog that seems to work much nicer, and things are working smoothly and efficiently again on the dashboard, which is much appreciated. Best of all, I get to have ZERO STRESS over the server getting attacked with a DDOS because someone else gets paid to deal with it now. It’s a good feeling. I highly recommend selling out if you ever get the chance.
Taped from Dayton, OH
Your hosts are Jim Ross, Excalibur and Tony Schiavone
Trios title: The Elite v. Matt Hardy, Ethan Page & Isiah Kassidy
Kassidy gets double-teamed by the Bucks to start, so Matt Hardy gives it a go with Kenny. Matt tries the Twist of Fate and Omega escapes that, but he misses a blind charge and Matt sends him to the floor. Matt wants a dive, but Page takes out Omega himself and tells him to table it for later. Omega promptly escapes Page’s offense and it’s back to the Bucks, as they double-team him and then chop Kassidy down to set up a guillotine from Kenny. Page and Kassidy escape to the floor and the Bucks dive onto them, and then it’s the battle of Matts as Jackson hits Hardy with the northern lights suplexes until Page breaks it up. Hardy with a Side Effect on Jackson for two. Page comes in with a backbreaker on Matt Jackson and they work Matt over in the corner, and Hardy runs him into the turnbuckles and yanks him out with a powerbomb for two. Ethan takes over the yodelling legdrop for himself, but Matt gets his knees up and it’s hot tag Omega. You Can’t Escape gets two. The Bucks hit Kassidy with a superkick and Omega gets a snapdragon on Page, but Hardy saves and lays out Omega, setting up stereo swantons from Kassidy and Matt. The Elite goes for triple superkicks on Kassidy, but Omega and Matt get pulled out and Kassidy hits Nick with a destroyer. Twist of Fate on Nick gets two. Hardy accidentally knocks Page off the apron, but Kassidy hits Matt Jackson with a cutter for two. Meanwhile Matt Hardy checks on his new best friend Ethan Page outside, which leaves Kassidy alone to get destroyed by the Bucks and pinned with the One Winged Angel and BTE Trigger at 14:33. This wasn’t like a top level Trios match like most of the Elite matches are, but it was a fun enough opener despite the foregone conclusion. ***1/4.
Meanwhile, Ricky Starks admits that he might have put his foot into his mouth in accepting the gauntlet challenge, but he’ll still embarrass Chris Jericho regardless.
Brian Pillman Jr. v. Swerve Strickland
As I mentioned in my review of Dark Elevation, Pillman is looking uncannily like his dad with his new haircut. Swerve counters a wristlock attempt into a cradle for two, and Pillman backs off and tries it again. This time he gets a kick from his back when Swerve counters the wristlock, so Swerve is angered and nails him from behind. Pillman dropkicks him to the floor, and then back in for some chops in the corner and a northern lights suplex for two. Swerve takes out the knee to take over and then goes up with the diving uppercut, and Fite takes a break. Back with Pillman fighting back and slugging away, and a superkick gets two. Swerve takes out the knee again to cut him off and hits a kick to the head for two. They fight to the top and Pillman necks him to escape, but Trench (I guess he’s got a name now?) and Parker provide distraction, and Swerve finishes with the Swerve Stomp at 8:15. Not much to this one, mostly an extended squash for Swerve. *1/2
Meanwhile, the House of Black clarifies that they were never trying to recruit Eddie Kingston, but rather just mess him and corrupt him. And they succeeded.
Toni Storm & Saraya v. The Renegades
We get a cute off-hand joke as the Renegade sisters play rock-paper-scissors to decide who starts but they’re identical twins and always play the same thing. I like little touches like that. Robyn gets destroyed by Storm immediately and sent flying to the floor with the hip attack, and Saraya gets some cheapshots and then claims innocence. Back in the ring, Saraya beats on Robyn with short clotheslines and then hits her with a pair of knee strikes. Storm with a snap suplex for two and she goes to a full nelson, but Robyn fights back with an enzuigiri and makes the hot tag to Charlette. And Storm quickly dispatches her with a shotgun dropkick and hip attack in the corner, setting up the Storm Zero to finish at 5:06. They gave the Renegades a bit here as usual but again this was basically an extended squash. *1/2. And then the invader heels spraypaint their victims in the name of creativity. Maybe they’ll do a six-man with a mysterious third person too.
Rush v. Christopher Daniels
They trade takedowns to start and Daniels gets a neckbreaker for two. Rush bails to the floor off a heel kick and Daniels follows with a dive, but Jose the Assistant gets involved and Rush takes the ref, allowing Preston Vance to run Daniels into the post. Rush smashes him into the railing with knees and beats on him with the TV cable, and he’s so overheated from the exertion that he has to fan himself with MJF’s money. Back in the ring, Daniels covers himself up to block the Bull’s Horns, so Rush does some posing instead and tosses him out for more abuse. Back in, that gets two. Rush puts the boots to him, but Vance accidentally takes out Jose and Daniels gets a rollup for two and makes the comeback. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. Daniels with the death valley driver for two. Koji Klutch follows, but Vance makes the save and Rush rolls him up for two. Daniels with the BME, but that hits the knees and Rush suplexes him into the corner and finishes with the Bull’s Horns at 10:00. Daniels looked really old and slow here, but this was fine. **
Basically one good opener and then three extended Dark squashes as the era of Tony Khan giving a crap about making this show better appears to be long over. Just a show this week.