The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 11.14.12
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are Tony Luftman & Tom Hamilton (?), with Jim Ross dropping in now and then. Honestly the mix-and-match milqetoast announcers were pretty hard to keep up with at that point.
Meanwhile, Jinder Mahal is bragging about being the #1 contender to the NXT title, but Bo Dallas interrupts and wants a rematch to prove that he’s really a “nobody” compared to Jinder. And he also goads Jinder into putting the title shot on the line for good measure.
The Ascension v. Percy Watson & Yoshi Tatsu
Still the early beta-testing version of the Ascension with Kenneth Cameron instead of Rick Victor, although now Conor has shaved his head and looks more intimidating that way. They quickly trap Watson in the corner and double-team him in the corner before O’Brien headlocks him on the mat. Watson escapes and Tatsu comes in and runs wild for a bit, but Conor quickly beats him down and they finish Tatsu with the Fall of Man (high low) at 3:00. Just a quick squash. *
Meanwhile, Aksana (remember her?) stops by and acts all catty to Layla for no particular reason, back when the entire women’s division was “catty bitches being bitchy to each other”.
Corey Graves v. Oliver Grey
Yes, Corey Graves used to be a WRESTLER! I know, my mind is blown too. They trade wristlocks to start as we learn that Grey worked as a lumberjack in England. I imagine he was OK. Corey works the leg, but Grey rolls him up for two, so Corey beats him down with clubbing forearms and then chokes him out, as the announcers note that Corey is “all over the place” with his style here. Graves with the Indian deathlock, which is called a Fuller leglock, and then Graves rolls him into a calf crusher to finish at 4:13. Corey got better in a hurry but this felt like a “We’ve got CM Punk at home” meme to start out. *1/2
Big E Langston joins us, and man his music just wasn’t hard enough for the character. He needed a good rocking track to bounce out to. Big E clarifies that the “E” stands for “End” because he’ll put an end to anyone who tries to claim Vickie’s bounty. And while he’s busy telling us how much he loves “5”, Camacho clobbers him from behind and then runs away again. Well that was a pretty half-assed attempt at collecting the bounty.
DID YOU KNOW: CM Punk’s “Best in the World” is the #1 sports DVD in America? What the hell is a “DVD”?
Layla v. Aksana
We are WAY down at the low point of the women’s division here, ironically before NXT itself generated the next group of women who would revive it from the dead. Aksana takes Layla down and then hides in the ropes and poses on the apron. Layla dropkicks her off the apron and rolls her up for two, but she tries to go up and Aksana pulls her down for two. She drops elbows for two, but Layla slugs back until Aksana clotheslines her for two. And then she crawls around the ring, which just makes her look like a stripper, and Layla comes back with a bodypress for two. High kick gets the pin at 5:20. I mean, at least Layla was a reasonably competent wrestler at this point, but Aksana was SO BAD. ½*
Meanwhile, Bray Wyatt stands in a field ranting about being considered a monster, and apparently you just need to follow the buzzards if you want to find him. That and the Mountain Dew Pitch Black bottles.
Roman Reigns v. Chase Donovan
The announcers all think that this Reigns kid is a “can’t miss prospect” and “bluest of the blue chips” and even compare him to LeBron James. If I cared about football I’d probably be offended by that. Roman gets a pair of slams and goes to a nerve pinch. Real can’t miss stuff there. Donovan fights back in the corner, but Reigns puts him down with a flying clothesline and finishes with the Sufferin’ Succotash Slam at 2:42. I haven’t checked Cagematch yet to see if this Reigns guy is still hanging around the business.
Bo Dallas v. Jinder Mahal
They fight for the lockup to start as Bo Dallas continues to be horribly miscast as a fiery babyface, and Bo takes him down with a headlock and works that on the mat. Jinder beats him down, but Bo comes back with a backdrop and Jinder bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bo putting the boots to Jinder and gets a suplex for two. Bo with a short arm clothesline for two. Jinder takes him down and armbars him on the mat, while the announcers note that if you want to be a top superstar you have to “endure long, painful matches like this one”. I don’t want to be a top superstar, how come I have to endure long painful matches like this one? Bo escapes the restholds and backslides him for two, but Mahal kicks the leg out of his leg to put him down again. Jinder slowly chokes away on the ropes, but Dallas makes a comeback with a powerslam for two. Bo misses a blind charge and hits the corner, and Jinder finishes with the camel clutch at 12:00. Jinder Mahal being booked like a vicious submission specialist heel is almost as ridiculous as Bo playing the fired up babyface blue chipper. *1/2
Some REAL bad matches this week and not much interesting going on again. I don’t know if they were at the end of an 8 week taping cycle or something but this had zero energy from the wrestlers and the crowd. Better luck next time.