The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 01.23.23
So here’s my life today: After booking my tickets, flight and hotel for the Winnipeg Dynamite in March last month, TBS changed the scheduled basketball game over to truTV, which meant that the special Tuesday Dynamite was once again a normal Wednesday Dynamite. And suddenly my flight was for the wrong days, which means that I have to change it and pay about $200 in “service” fees now to fly out at the proper time. YOU OWE ME, TONY KHAN!
Anyway this is episode 99 of Elevation, so we might as well review this week and next week’s big 100th episode celebration for funsies.
Taped from Fresno, CA
Your hosts are Ian Riccaboni, Paul Wight & Matt Menard. Well that’s quite the combination.
Skye Blue v. Zoe Dubois
Zoe moves more like a dancer, so perhaps she was trained by Aubrey. She hits Skye with a high kick in the corner and an interesting rolling triple suplex for two, and she does a Nash choke in the corner while getting dangerously close to popping out and demonitizing the video. Skye fires back with a knee strike and the spinning kick for two. Zoe tries for a Boston crab, but Skye fights out and superkicks her and finishes with the Skyfall at 3:15, a full nelson flatliner. Good to see Skye getting a win for once. Zoe was INTERESTING, I’ll give her that, and she got over by being different even in a 3 minute losing cause. She didn’t work like anyone else I’ve seen, ever, outside of like old 50s guys like Ricky Starr. Who by the way is totally worth looking up. 1 for 1.
The Butcher & The Blade v. David McCallion & Richie Slade
Apparently the enhancement guys are collectively known as “Beef Candy”. Of course they are. Butcher and Blade get a huge babyface reaction from the jacked up Fresno crowd, and Blade beats on Slade with running elbows in the corner and Bunny adds some cheapshots from the outside. Butcher comes in and brutalizes him some more and it’s over to McCallion, so Butcher clotheslines him in the corner and adds a gutbuster for two. Slade makes the save, which is only prolonging the inevitable, and B&B finish with the double-team powerbomb at 2:25 and look like they were having a ball. 2 for 2.
Meanwhile, Athena is busy randomly threatening people until she is confronted by what appears to be a young child wandering backstage, but turns out to be Yuka Sakazaki. Honest mistake.
Rush & Preston Vance v. Papacito Negro & Papacito Blanco
I presume that the one in white is Blanco and the other guy by process of elimination is Negro. My grasp of Spanish is certainly not the best. Rush immediately runs Blanco to the floor and sends him into the railing. Back in, he gets rid of Negro and Vance comes in with a spinebuster on Blanco while Menard puts over Vance’s gum-chewing skills. He’s no Curt Hennig, though. Rush and Vance double-team Negro and Rush kicks a field goal on him and hits the Bull’s Horns in the corner, setting up Vance to finish with the discus lariat at 3:40. And then Vance continues his unmasking gimmick, ripping the masks off the Papacitos, although I don’t recognize who’s underneath. Could have been Sasha Banks, I suppose, although that would be a pretty low key debut. 2 for 3.
ROH Supercard of Honor: Coming Friday March 31, at 4:00pm. That’s a weird bit of timing all around. Are there some other shows that weekend in the area that they’re trying to avoid?
Emi Sakura v. Brooke Havok
Havok is from the Nightmare Academy according to Ian, but she’s already got braces on both knees so that’s probably not a good sign for her long term prospects. Emi tosses her by the hair and then gives her a spanking before putting the boots to her, and they trade chops. Brooke fights back with a neckbreaker and a nice spinning DDT for two. Emi gets the Queen chops in the corner and then hits a delayed backbreaker, so delayed they should call it Skull & Bones, and Emi finishes with a moonsault at 3:31. Always a good time with Emi. 3 for 4.
Ari Daivari & Tony Nese v. Big Fonz & Jordan Cruz
This is an odd combination of the Trustbusters and Varsity Athletes. Cruz takes Nese down with armdrags, but he gets beaten down in the Mark Sterling corner, so it’s over to BIG FONZ. If he doesn’t have a leaping DDT called JUMP THE SHARK then what are we even doing here? Sadly Nese finishes him with the running knee at 2:20 before we can explore any further Happy Days references like all the kids are making on the TikToks these days. 3 for 5.
Serpentico, Ryan Nemeth & Pretty Peter Avalon v. John Silver, Alex Reynolds & Evil Uno
I’m saddened to see that Peter Avalon has gone from 1987 Rick Rude hair to 1990 Rick Rude hair, thus ruining his whole deal. We get something resembling a dance off to start, although they also may have been vaxxed before the match and left with uncontrollable shaking, too. Either/or. And Ian goes for the reference gold by putting over the “Gary Strydom-like striations” of John Silver. SHUT IT DOWN, WE HAVE A WINNER. Reynolds gets trapped in the Wingman corner and triple-teamed, although Serpentico is only a Wingman on loan this week. Luther, by the way, is either cosplaying Hawk or Vader this week, not sure which one. Avalon does some dancing, which allows Alex to reverse a suplex and make the hot tag to Uno. Backbreaker on Serpentico gets two, and they set up for the Pendulum powerbomb, but Avalon breaks it up. Nemeth gets a DDT on Reynolds and Avalon comes in with a frog splash for two, which sets up a wacky run of big moves. But then Peter gets trapped by the Dark Order and finished at 5:22 to cap off a very entertaining show. 4 for 6.
A light and breezy 35 minutes and a fun show for a Monday night. Recommended, especially the debut of Zoe Dubois.