The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 04.27.90
Time for the other half of the Doom-Steiners singles clash this week. Man I’m enjoying this show at the moment. Too bad Ole Anderson fires everyone and tanks the promotion soon after. OK, that’s unfair. It was a team effort from Ole AND Jim Herd.
Taped from Baton Rouge, LA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Gordon Solie
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Paul Drake
Drake looks like an aging Buff Bagwell, if he left the wrestling business and became a male escort in his later years.
Oh. Hold on. I’m just getting some information here…I see. Well that’s unfortunate.
Bigelow, with his bizarre sleeveless gear, quickly tosses Drake and then hauls him in and gets a uranage, for two, but then stays on top of him and the ref counts the pin on a second try. Well that was a weird squash. Did he suddenly remember he had a souffle in the oven that was about to fall?
WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!
We just want to stress that Sting WILL be at the PPV, but he will NOT be wrestling in any capacity, so anyone who buys the show should not interpret Sting’s involvement as advertising him in a wrestling match in any sense. In fact, just reading this sentence is a waver of indemnity against Turner Broadcasting so don’t even try to sue us. In fact, WE might sue YOU because there’s a lot of lawyers on retainer for Ted Turner and sometimes they get bored. Also Robocop will be there, but don’t blame us for that either.
Oh also Robert Fuller is wrestling in Florida in case you care. Some HOT NEWZ from Solie this week.
LAST WEEK: Rick Steiner faces Butch Reed on the road to Capital Combat! And they show the entire match again, as they battle to a double countout after a good hoss fight.
Mean Mark Callous v. Pat Rose & Bob Cook
So not only does Mark have Teddy Long as manager again, but now he’s regained his last name again. Mark with the double leapfrog and sideslam on Rose and he quickly finishes with the HEART PUNCH on both geeks and pins Rose at 1:04. They’re doing a pretty decent job of building this guy up as a contender right now, hopefully they’ve got him locked down to a long term contract!
Oh. Hold on. I’m just getting some information here…I see. Well that’s unfortunate.
Anyway, they also announce that Mark is facing Eddie Gilbert at Capital Combat, which didn’t happen, and in fact got changed to Shane Douglas at some point instead. And then Shane apparently refused to do the job (I know right! So out of character!), so they turfed HIM and stuck Johnny Ace in there instead to eat the Heart Punch.
The Freebirds join Jim Cornette to talk about their upcoming match with the Rock N Roll Express, and Michael Hayes accuses everyone in the audience of being a bunch of “dirty immigrants” to keep it classy. Also the match is going to be a strap match, as Hayes relates a story about his father wanting to take him behind the woodshed for a whooping when he was younger, but he whooped his father and choked him out with his own strap instead. Anyway, this gives me the chance to bring up the PWI Weekly coverage of the PPV, as they confused the match stipulation and PPV name and came up with a “Capital Punishment” match for the Freebirds/RNR match instead of “Corporal Punishment”. Which of course would be a TOTALLY different stipulation.
Also how come there hasn’t been any notable indie wrestlers named Corporal Punishment?
Also was Michael Hayes insinuating that he and Jimmy Garvin had the same father in this promo? Because Jimmy Garvin’s stepdad is Ronnie Garvin, and I would LOVE to see Michael Hayes try to choke him out with a strap in a shoot fight by the woodshed. I would HOWL with laughter and then post a video on the internet for everyone to see.
Scott Steiner v. Ron Simmons
Big stall to start and Scott clotheslines Ron to the floor after about 3 minutes of nothing, and Ron gets some advice from Teddy Long. That advice? “Get a catchphrase, PLAYA!” Back in the ring, Scott catches Ron with his head down and hits him with a gourdbuster, and then bulldogs him to send him running to the floor again. More stalling from Ron, but Scott catches him with a powerslam and drops an elbow on him for two. Rick actually takes the ref and Scott headbutts him in the groin behind the ref’s back and goes to work on the leg with a stepover toehold. Scott works the knee, using the ropes for leverage even, and slugs away in the corner before missing a blind charge and going flying into the post. Ron slams him on the floor and suplexes him back into the ring, which gets two. Simmons with the spinebuster for two. Three point stance shoulderblock and you KNOW what JR’s topic of conversation turns into. Simmons tries it again and misses, landing on the floor, and they brawl out there off that. Back in the ring, Ron grabs a headlock while JR chides all the “insiders” who wrote off Doom after they did the big choke at Starrcade. Scott fights back and Simmons hits him with a knee to the gut to cut him off, but Ron misses a charge and Scott comes back. Ron cuts him off again and chinlocks him on the mat, while using the ropes and getting help from Butch. Again, that’s all I ask if you’re doing a chinlock! Use the ropes or do something to draw some heat! Scott with a small package for two, although I don’t think anyone would accuse him of having a small package later on, if you know what I mean. He liked to have lots of sex with the ladies, in case I wasn’t clear there. Ron tosses him and Reed gets some cheapshots on the floor, but Scott comes in with a sunset flip for two before Ron beats him down again. Ron misses another charge and Scott comes back with a belly to belly out of the corner, but Reed trips him up to cut off the comeback. So Reed and Rick brawl on the floor and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as everyone brawls and it’s a double DQ at 16:00 this time around to keep things going. Another really enjoyable “big meaty men slapping meat” match. ***1/4 This Scott Steiner kid might be going places, I think.
BREAKING NEWS: Flyin Brian & Z-Man are the wrestlers of the week!
Another good episode of the Power Hour!