The SmarK Rant for Prime Time Wrestling – 08.07.89

The SmarK Rant for Prime Time Wrestling – 08.07.89

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Roddy Piper

Look at me, letting this era play out and seeing where it goes. Helps that I threw out my back the other day and I took one of my wife’s gummies tonight to assist with relaxing the muscles. You know, here in Canada we can literally have that stuff delivered to our door by a variety of establishments. Just saying. We’re pretty awesome.

Also news was breaking during this show so I was having a hard time paying attention about halfway through.

The WIDOWMAKER v. Terry Daniels

Oh damn, been a minute since I’ve seen a Barry Windham squash from this era. Barry takes Daniels down with a pair of armdrags, but Daniels actually fights him off and gets a slam and hiptoss to send Windham into the corner. Also it’s really weird and awkward how Tony and Alfred have to constantly call him THE WIDOWMAKER and can’t use his given name. It sounds like when they put a create-a-wrestler name into commentary on WWE games and it’s obvious every time they splice it into sentences. Windham with an inverted atomic drop out of the corner and he follows with a backdrop suplex and a powerslam. But then Private Daniels fights back again with a dropkick, which seems like an odd way to get Windham over as a killer, and Barry slugs him over the top rope and then brings him back in with a superplex to finish at 5:25. Man, Horseman Barry was way more badass than this lame character. No beard, no black glove, no point.

Back at the studio, Gorilla demands a prediction on the Summerslam main event from Roddy. He basically rambles and doesn’t come up with a real answer. Also they discuss the Ultimate Warrior, and how Warrior might have a VERY SECRET person in his corner who might want to help him against Rude. Very secret, Piper stresses. Top secret.

UPDATE! WITH LORD ALFRED HAYES!

We take you back to Andre and Warrior having a confrontation on the Brother Love Show. This lasted way longer than any of their matches, I think.

The Powers of Pain v. The Young Stallions

Joined in progress from another Superstars taping, as Roma gets thrown around by Barbarian. Barbarian with a backbreaker and Warlord comes in and drops an elbow on Roma and goes to the bearhug. Barbarian goes up and misses an elbow and Roma makes the theoretical hot tag to Jim Powers, who quickly gets mauled and pinned with the bearhug/clothesline combo at 4:19 shown.

Back at the studio, Gorilla and Roddy discuss why the Hart Foundation would possibly accept a non-title match with the Brainbusters at Summerslam. They don’t come up with a satisfying answer.

Hercules v. Chris Duffy

Well this is just a straight up Superstars squash match. Herc with the usual array of clotheslines and he finishes with the torture rack at 1:45.

Rick Martel v. Koko B. Ware

Rick doesn’t even get to finish dancing to “Jive Soul Bro” before Koko cuts him off with his entrance. Honestly though Martel was better on his own and he didn’t need Slick to add to that character. They trade hammerlocks to start and Koko tries a rollup, but Martel blocks it and does some fancy rolling to escape. Next up, Martel demonstrates his cartwheel skills, but Koko clotheslines him to the floor for some complaints and grievances. Back in the ring, Koko slugs away, but Martel backdrops him to the floor and puts the beating on him out there. Back in, Koko comes back with a backslide for two, but Martel chokes him out on the ropes and Koko gets a crossbody out of the corner for two. Martel chinlocks him and follows with a backbreaker, but he goes to the top and Koko shakes the ropes to bring him down. Koko follows him up but doesn’t really have any followup and just kind of puts him down and hits the missile dropkick for two. Slick provides distraction and Martel hits Koko with a knee from behind and that gets two. And then Koko misses a blind charge and Martel finishes him with a diving kneedrop at 9:00. This was all over the place and they were mostly just sleepwalking through it. **

The Brother Love Show, with special guests the Brainbusters, fresh off winning the WWF tag team titles from Demolition, and Arn cuts a hell of a promo about going through all the teams on the way to the top.

SUMMERSLAM REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE!

Only 9 matches? To fill a three hour PPV? What a ripoff. We get the Hogan & Beefcake promo from SNME after Zeus put the devastating bearhug on Brutus. And then we finish the show with a replay of the Brutus-Savage match from SNME and the Bobby Heenan show garbage, which is good because I was having trouble paying attention to anything but Twitter tonight anyway and I wanted to wrap this up.

I knew I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. What a night this turned into.