The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.20.97
In the cold open, the lesser members of the nWo have been laid out by someone, someone who has conveniently left a Roddy Piper t-shirt on the floor as a calling card. Of course we don’t SEE the attack because that might get someone over.
Hollywood Hogan is STOMPING MAD and joins us in the ring with Uncle Eric and Randy Savage, and they throw a tantrum about Roddy Piper, Sting and DDP and Hogan declares that “the crap stops here”. What’s he talking about, there’s still three hours of the show left! Also there’s a cage hanging over the ring and they’re upset about that as well.
Live from somewhere that must be pretty small because they don’t tell us until later, when we learn it’s Biloxi, MS. Also for those keeping score, this was the highest rated show in Nitro history up until this point.
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay & Larry Zbyszko and they actually ANNOUNCE THE CARD IN ADVANCE. Holy cow.
Eddie Guerrero v. Chris Benoit
Benoit overpowers Guerrero to start and tosses him up for a faceplant before putting the boots to him in the corner. Eddie fires back with chops and dropkicks him into the corner, but Benoit alley-oops him into the turnbuckle and then chops him down again and then just blisters him with chops in the corner. Eddie goes flying over the top off the last one, but flips back in with a rollup for two and fights back with his own chops. Man it’s a good thing these guys were best friends. Benoit blasts him to the floor with another chop and follows with a tope suicida, and we take a break, returning with Eddie holding an abdominal stretch. Benoit escapes that, but Eddie takes him down with a headscissors and continues beating on him with chops. Benoit goes up and Eddie crotches him and tries a Splash Mountain, but Benoit fights that off. But then he charges and Eddie leverages him into the middle turnbuckle. The ref pulls off Eddie so he can check on Benoit’s well-being, but Eddie ignores him and hits a frog splash for the pin at 7:44. They could literally slot this onto AEW Dynamite tomorrow and it would fit perfectly because it fucking ruled. ****
BREAKING NEWS: We all thought DDP had won the US title from Curt Hennig, but in fact he didn’t and the title was returned to Curt after the show. Originally the plan WAS for Page to win the title, but Terry Taylor’s booking was overturned at the last minute before the show started.
Bill Goldberg v. Wrath
Wrath gets the big entrance here with the laser lights and smoke, but Goldberg immediately spears and Jackhammers him at 0:21. Ooooo they’re getting SO close to figuring it out! And he asks the camera “Who’s next?” on the way back to the dressing room, adding another piece of the puzzle.
Steve McMichael v. Mortis
Well since Mortis was already at ringside we might as well have a match with him as well. Mongo has words with Goldberg in the aisle, setting up their crappy PPV match. Mongo quickly beats on Mortis and hiptosses him for two, but Mortis catches him with a Flatliner for two. Mortis slugs away in the corner and gets a death valley driver for two. Blind charge misses and Mongo rolls him up for two, but Mortis puts him down with a leg lariat for two. James Van Den Berg takes the ref and Mortis tosses Steve over the top rope and suplexes him back in for two. Mongo fights back with a slam type of deal and goes for the tombstone, but Van Den Berg takes the ref again and Mongo goes after him. Mortis attacks from behind, but Mongo finishes with the tombstone at 4:53. Just a match, which makes it several notches better than the usual Mongo match at this time. *1/2
Debra McMichael interrupts Mongo’s promo after the match, and she’s upset about having her TV time stolen. Her only clue as to Mongo’s mystery opponent: It won’t be Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett would have been better than what we got. Brutal segment with Debra blathering on and belittling McMichael while he just stands there and takes it.
Raven is hanging out at a playground, still brooding about his childhood and quoting Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”.
Meanwhile, Rey Mysterio hangs out in Mexico and thinks about what losing his mask to Eddie Guerrero would mean. Please, I don’t think even WCW would be dumb enough to unmask Rey.
Juventud Guerrera v. Yuji Nagata
Nagata beats on Juvy and kicks him into next week right away while Raven and his group (including Stevie Richards again!) head through the crowd. Juvy tries a rana and Nagata powerbombs him, but Juvy escapes a german suplex and gets the rana for two. Nagata misses a charge and Juvy goes up with a missile dropkick and follows with a 450 attempt, but Onoo trips him up and Nagata finishes with the Nagatalock at 2:20. Meanwhile Ultimo Dragon attacks Sonny Onoo, but Nagata blindsides him and the heels beat him down to set up the PPV match. A fine little squash for Nagata. **1/2
Damian, Villano IV & Villano V are out for a match, but the Giant interrupts before we can learn their opponents. Giant accuses Kevin Nash of milking a knee injury and hiding. Perish the thought. But then the luchadors take exception to having their match interrupted and attack the Giant, and you know how that goes.
TV title: Disco Inferno v. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Rey has a shot at the TV title here despite already having a shot at the Cruiserweight title at Halloween Havoc in a week. And he didn’t even have to put his mask on the line! Rey gets a rollup for two, but he tries a rana and Disco powerbombs him and stops to MACARENA. Rey is so insulted that he guillotines Disco in the ropes for two and gets a sunset flip for two. Rey with a springboard hip attack and he goes for the rana to finish, but Eddie sneaks down and hauls Rey out of the ring for the DQ at 2:39. Sadly this didn’t get enough time to go anywhere. * Jacqueline comes out and attacks Disco to continue their nonsensical feud afterwards and they fight back to the dressing room.
HOUR #2! THE HOUR THAT LENT ELON MUSK THE MONEY TO BUY TWITTER!
The New World Order joins us again here at the top of the hour and they’re still hopping mad at everyone and they’re not leaving the ring until someone comes out to fight them. But no one does, so they leave. Eric’s theory: They’re all scared of “Assault on Devil’s Island”, Hogan’s movie on TNT. Huge if true.
US title: Curt Hennig v. Dean Malenko
Tenay notes that this is Malenko’s chance to show that he can hang with the heavyweights. Cool story but he had already been US champion earlier in the year. Dean takes him down and chases him to the floor to start, and a dropkick gets two. Tony notes this is the third of three title matches tonight, so I guess the opening match was retroactively made into a Cruiserweight title match then? We take a break and return with Hennig hitting a suplex for a double down. Malenko with a chinlock and a back suplex for two. Cross body gets one and Dean goes up with a high cross for two. Malenko takes him down and works on the leg and then pulls him to the floor and sends him into the post. Back in, he hooks the Cloverleaf while the arena looks to the back for the run-in, but nothing is coming. Man someone should have taken a hint at that point and realized how they were training the crowds to react. But of course, no one did and it only got worse. Hennig makes the ropes and NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A HENNIGPLEX at 10:00 to retain. An OK match where Malenko had to turn it down 18 notches for Curt to keep up at that point in his career. **1/2
Ray Traylor v. Scott Norton
Stevie Richards has a sign that says “In Memory of Ronnie Van Zandt”. Which is weird because Van ZANT died in 1977 and also Stevie spelled his name wrong. You’d think someone who was as big of an 80s nerd as Richards would know his Skynyrd. Was he maybe mixing him up with Steven Van Zandt from the Sopranos? Anyway, Stevie with the wacky signs actually morphed into the gimmick that brought Lodi into WCW to take over for him. Norton knocks Traylor over to start, but walks into a spinebuster and Traylor splashes him for two. Ray with an enzuigiri as Norton has now sold TWO moves in this match, but he quickly comes back and drops Ray on the top rope. Traylor continues slugging away on him and chokes him out on the ropes, which makes THREE moves sold by Norton, on a TV appearance no less, and Ray goes up with a flying bodypress for one. But he goes after Vincent, and gets spraypainted in the face and pinned at 3:15. I would classify this as a shockingly good match. ** And then Ray gets brutally beaten down by the nWo and no one saves him. To be fair, no one liked him anyway.
Lex Luger v. Booker T
Lex tries a clothesline and Booker puts him down with a forearm, but Lex catches him with a powerslam for two. Luger with a delayed suplex, but he misses his elbow and so does Booker. But Booker pops up with the spinarooni and puts Lex down with the axe kick for two. Booker with a chinlock, but Lex makes the comeback with clotheslines and the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DOOM. Unfortunately the WWF retained the metal plate as their intellectual property as a part of his contract release and so it doesn’t finish. Booker escapes the rack and drops Lex with a sideslam, but he misses the Harlem Hangover and the HUMAN TORTURE RACK finishes at 6:32. Another good singles effort for Booker as they continue testing the waters with him. ***
Afterwards, Mean Gene chats with Lex about his upcoming match with Scott Hall, and Lex stops to put over Booker T before moving onto the nWo. Larry Z joins us and promises he’ll only call the match down the middle, and Lex is like “Um, that’s all I ever said I wanted but whatevs.”
Scott Hall v. Scott Steiner
Hall does his survey, and the crowd actually boos the nWo for once. Hall gets a funny line about Nash getting knee surgery “from which the average guy would never walk again” and notes that “Big Grouchy” is sitting home in Phoenix and getting ready to face the Giant. Steiner continues to expand leading up to his heel turn in 1998, and he quickly overpowers Hall. Hall takes him down with an armbar, but Steiner drops him with a backdrop driver and Hall bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Steiner smacking him around before going to a full nelson, and Hall runs him into the corner to break. Hall comes back with the sack of shit slam for two, while using the ropes, and puts the boots to Steiner before hitting a chokeslam and doing his uncanny Giant impersonation. It’s true, Paul Wight was pretty lame at that point. Hall with the abdominal stretch while using the ropes, but the ref catches him cheating and Steiner escapes with a pumphandle slam. Overhead suplex as Steiner makes the comeback, so Hall just clubs the ref because he’s had enough. So Steiner gets a butterfly bomb while Ted Dibiase tries to revive the ref, but Hall somehow gets Steiner up for the Edge and a masked referee comes in and counts the pin at 10:00, and it’s clearly Vincent but they don’t bother to pay it off with anything. **
The Megapowers join us to end the show, still hyping Asphalt on Devil’s Food Cake, but the arena is quickly infested with more Stings like last week, but these ones quickly unmask to reveal Piper, Page and the real Sting, and Team WCW beats on the nWo while the giant cage covers the ring to end the show.
Hey, this was a really entertaining show and I enjoyed it all the way through! Way to go, WCW!