The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents WWF Supertape Volume 2

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents WWF Supertape Volume 2

Released 07.25.90

I did this one as a part of the original Coliseum Video rants years ago, but skipped it when I was redoing everything recently.

Your host is Sean Mooney, with the running gag being a disembodied voice that goes SUPERTAPE every time Sean says the title of the tape.

Macho King Randy Savage v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

This is recycled from Saturday Night’s Main Event 25 in January 1990 for some reason, with commentary redubbed by Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes. Duggan dumps over the throne and attacks on the floor, then hits Savage with a clothesline in the ring and slugs away in the corner. Savage catches him with a cheapshot and dumps him to the floor, then follows with a double axehandle and puts the boots to him. Back in with another double axehandle for two and a necksnap for two. Duggan misses an elbow, but backdrops Savage to the floor and that results in Sherri going a little nuts on the ref. Back in the ring, Duggan drops the knee, but Sherri takes the ref again and it only gets two. Duggan makes the comeback with clotheslines and chases Savage to the floor, but then goes after Sherri again, which allows Savage to put him down with a high knee and hit him with a double axehandle for the double down. But then Sherri loads up the purse, takes the ref while passing it to Savage, and Macho nails Duggan for two. Duggan with a small package for two and makes the big comeback, sending Savage into the corner with an atomic drop to set up the clotheslines and three point stance, but it knocks Savage to the floor. So Duggan suplexes him back in, but Sherri hooks the leg and Savage falls on top for the pin at 9:12. I still enjoyed this match a lot, although with the redone commentary and obnoxiously overdone canned heat, it loses a lot from a production standpoint compared to the original broadcast version. ***

SuperTape Profile: The Rockers. Shawn does a promo where it sounds like he’s been up for 4 days straight, and they promise to show why they’re tag team specialists.

The Rockers v. The Powers of Pain

We’re in MSG, January 1990, and the Rockers double-team Barbarian in the corner to start and work on the arm. Double superkick for both Powers and they clean house with clotheslines. Back in the ring, Warlord uses the CLUBBING FOREARMS on Shawn, but Shawn fights back with a rana with help from Marty and slugs away on him. Over to Marty, and he gets a rollup for two before Warlord puts him down with a clothesline. So Warlord goes back to the CLUBBING FOREARMS and gets a backdrop where Marty goes into the lights, and that gets two. Marty really likes to get high, I hear! And he demonstrates it again when Warlord tosses him in the air for a faceplant, and that gets two. Man, no one gets higher than the Rockers. Allegedly. Barbarian takes Marty to the floor and runs him into the post, and then back in for a clothesline that Marty sells with the 360 flip, for two. Back to Warlord, but Marty keeps popping up like he’s on PCP or something, allegedly, until Warlord beats him down again. Barbarian with the bearhug, but Marty fights out like he’s on some kind of adrenaline-enhancing substance, allegedly, and goes up, only to get caught and powerslammed. Barbarian goes up and misses an elbow and it’s HOT TAG Shawn Michaels, as he slugs away on Barbarian in the corner and gets a sunset flip on Warlord for two. Bodypress gets two with help from Marty. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but Fuji trips up Shawn and Barbarian pins him at 9:55. Man, the Rockers were determined to get a great match out of these guys by sheer force of willpower. It ended up being arguably the best match the Powers ever had. ***3/4 The Powers beat them down afterwards for good measure, including doing the move that was the original Road Warrior finisher, which is what they should have been using all along.

The Rockers v. Greg Valentine & Dino Bravo

Off to a dark match from Superstars, June of 89, and you HAVE to think that the Rockers could actually win a match against these two mutts. Bravo overpowers Marty to start and grabs a headlock, as Marty bumps all over for the human LJN figure. Over to Shawn, and they double-team Bravo and chase the heels out of the ring with dropkicks. Back in, Shawn gets worked over by the Hammer, who runs Shawn’s arm into the corner, but he misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Shawn to come back with more of the same for Greg. Marty comes in and continues on the arm, and Shawn drops a knee on the arm, before Marty comes in and double-teams Valentine for two. Bravo beats on Marty with headbutts in the corner, but Marty monkey-flips out of the corner, and then tries it again and gets taken down with an atomic drop. Valentine takes over with a double stomp to the gut and a drop suplex for two. To the abdominal stretch while Bravo punches him in the gut, and they double-team Marty with a double elbow for two. Bravo with a gut wrench for two. Marty gets the tag to Shawn, but the ref of course misses it, and we get more shenanigans from the heels as a result. Bravo misses an elbow and it’s HOOOOOOOOOT TAG Shawn, who runs wild as the crowd goes apeshit. Man the formula is so simple but so effective. So he cleans house and dropkicks everyone by himself, setting up the double flying fist on Bravo for two, but Hammer saves. Shawn and Bravo collide, but Hammer puts Bravo on top and that gets two, with Marty making the save this time. Back to Marty and he rolls up Bravo for the apparent finish, but Hammer clotheslines them over and Bravo gets the pin at 11:48. They can’t even beat THESE GUYS on their own showcase segment? BUT WAIT! Rugged Ronnie Garvin comes out and overrules Hebner somehow, declaring the Rockers the winners by reversed decision, which is about as satisfying as accidentally making sex with someone who may or may not be your daughter. Allegedly. Oh Marty Jannetty, you’re the human meme that keeps on giving. Also this match was pretty great. ***1/2

Fan Favorite match: Hercules v. Akeem

Someone from Hawaii actually took the time to write in and request this match, although I’m assuming that with the time difference they thought it was still 1985 and both guys were in Mid-South. So this is a dark match from Superstars in 1989, and Hercules slugs away in the corner to start and then punches him to the floor. Akeem stops for advice from the Slickster. That advice? “Make sure to wait until Hogan goes to WCW before you jump. You might get a title out of it!” Back in the ring, Herc slugs away on him again as Akeem can barely even dance, but Herc tries a slam and Akeem puts him down with the CLUBBING FOREARMS to take over. Hey thanks for requesting this dumpster fire, random Hawaiian fan. Ohana means shitty midcard WWF matches, apparently. Herc comes back with more punches and clotheslines, but Slick pulls down the top rope and we get a DQ at 5:00 for the cherry on top of the shit sundae. DUD

The Call of the Action, with Lord Alfred Hayes! We get a Superstars squash featuring the Orient Express, as Hayes explains complex technical moves like a “forearm”, “backdrop” and “leapfrog”. Also for some reason he distinguishes between a “crescent kick” and “reverse crescent kick” despite both moves being exactly the same. Well he’s the expert commentator.

Demolition v. The Orient Express

From MSG, March 1990, and the topic of discussion is Demolition going for the “three-peat” at Wrestlemania against Haku & Andre, as Gorilla notes that he can’t remember anyone ever accomplishing the feat before. In fact, this was not true, shocking I know, and ironically the first team to accomplish it were in fact Toru Tanaka and Mr. Fuji. Fuji of course was the manager at ringside for this one, so you’d think Gorilla would have remembered him. Also the Samoans did it in the early 80s. Anyway I don’t know if I’ve raged about the Orient Express and their bizarre treatment lately, but this was a really misguided booking deal. Here you have the babyfaces, a pair of 300 pound face-painted behemoths going for their third straight tag team title at the biggest show of the year, and they’re supposed to be threatened by a pair of sneaky Japanese heels who they outweigh by 200 pounds. Not to mention that Sato & Tanaka had basically no real chemistry as a team because they were thrown together by Vince due to Pat Tanaka looking Japanese and thus apparently being unable to work any other style than “Hi-ya!” karate kicks and bowing to Mr. Fuji for heat. Like really, it was 1990. The Great Muta existed and Japanese people could absolutely be babyfaces by this point. So anyway, you don’t want to beat Demolition two weeks before Wrestlemania and you don’t want to beat your new heel team, so that’s a recipe for a screwjob finish. Smash throws Tanaka around to start and the Demos double-team him in the corner and lay the beating on him. Over to Ax, and he chases Sato out of the ring while Gorilla then remembers all the times that Fuji held the tag team titles with Toru Tanaka in the past after just talking about how no one had held the belts more than twice before! GIMME A BREAK! What a fountain of misinformation. The Express manages to double-team Ax with some kung fu chops, but he shrugs them off and Smash comes in and hits Tanaka with a backbreaker for two. But then we get more shenanigans and tomfoolery from the Japanese and Fuji gets a cheapshot on Smash outside to take over. Back in the ring, Tanaka gets two after some karate while Alfred Hayes reminisces about discovering the treachery of the Japanese nation during World War II (no, really!) but Ax gets a tag and cleans house on the Express for a bit. Powerslam on Tanaka gets two and they set up for the finish, but Fuji distracts Ax to break it up, and Sato throws the BABY POWDER OF DEATH in Ax’s eyes for the countout at 11:00. I’m not sure where anyone would get a bag of white powder in a WWF dressing room, but they managed to find one somehow. This was a bit of a slog and the dynamic was all off. *1/2

Bret Hart v. Rick Martel

Back to MSG on the same show for this one, March 1990. Hayes clarifies that while Bret is “talented”, Martel is “gifted”, and that’s the difference between them. Well that clears it right up. Bret quickly gets a small package on Martel for two to deal with Martel’s stalling, so Rick bails and complains from the floor to buy time. Back in, Martel goes for the arm, but Bret quickly reverses out of that and takes him down with a hammerlock. Martel, master of selling, yells out “OUCH MY ARM!” in case we weren’t clear on the storyline. Bret ducks under a hiptoss attempt and gets a backslide for two, and back to the armbar again, but Martel tosses him to the floor to break free. Martel runs him into the apron to take over and stops for some jumping jacks to recharge his batteries. Back into the ring with a suplex for two. He runs Bret into the corner and goes to work on the back with an abdominal stretch, but Bret reverses out with the help of the referee, and you just know Gorilla lets us know about THAT. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and makes the comeback, dropping the elbow for two. Middle rope elbow gets two. Russian legsweep gets two. Martel runs away and Bret chases him back in for a backbreaker that gets two. They fight on the floor and Bret gets an atomic drop out there and it’s apparently a draw at 12:00. Either they edited this down or that’s a very compressed 20:00. Pretty fun match as Bret was well protected leading up to his next singles push. ***

Manager’s Profile with Slick. We get a promo from the Doctor of Style, and then a quick bit of dancing. Well that wasn’t much of a profile.

Cage match: Ravishing Rick Rude v. Rowdy Roddy Piper

Back to MSG, December of 89, as the sound is suddenly muted a lot compared to the rest of the tape. For some reason they’re doing pinfall rules in the cage for this one, and Piper sends Rude into the cage right away and then beats him with his belt. Piper bites him, apparently blading him, because Rude comes up busted open and then runs Piper’s hand into the cage to put him down and take over. Rude elbows him down for two and then crawls for the door as well while Bobby tries to pull him out, but Piper hangs onto the foot and pulls him back in. Rude puts him down with the Rude Awakening, but instead of going for the pin he tries for the door again, and Piper tackles him to keep him in the ring. They collide for a double down and Rude is up first and goes for the climb this time, so they both end up on top of the cage and slug it out up there. But then they both drop down at the same time, so THIS MATCH MUST CONTINUE. So Rude smashes a chair into his face in the name of sportsmanship, and they continue back in the cage. Rude drops an elbow on him and then goes to the top of the cage for a fistdrop, and Piper is selling like he’s having a heroin overdose. That gets two. Rude with a piledriver and Rude decides to the top of the cage again, but Piper shakes the cage and we get our contracted Rude crotch bump. So Rude is hanging upside down on the top of the cage and Piper goes for the door, but Heenan slams it in his face with pinpoint timing. That gets two for Rude. Rude with a backdrop suplex and they’re both down off that, so now Bobby finds a pair of brass knuckles in his pocket and gives those to Rude, but Piper steals them and KO’s Rude. And that’s enough to walk out the door for the win at 12:51 this time. I was dubious to start but they had a HELL of a match to blow off the feud. ****

And now, BLOOPERS. This is mostly Bobby Heenan being funny while generic wacky circus music plays in the background.

Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake v. Mr. Perfect & The Genius

And our finale is back to MSG, February of 1990. Hulk powers Perfect into the corner to start, but Perfect fights back with chops before walking into a big boot and going flying over the top. Back in the ring, Hulk and Brutus double-team Perfect while Hillbilly accuses the Genius of being “in the closet”, and Brutus gets a high knee for two. Hulk goes aerial with the double axehandle on Perfect and drops elbows before knocking Genius off the apron with ZERO provocation like a complete bully. Hulk with a back elbow in the corner and Perfect goes flying over the ringpost, although it’s not clear if that was him selling the move or dodging it. Regardless, Hogan gives chase and Perfect hits him in the face with the scroll to take over. Back in the ring, Genius unleashes his fingernail rakes and minces around the ring, and Perfect puts Hulk down with an Ax Attack. Back to Genius for a moonsault, but it hits knees and Hulk makes a tag to Brutus. Brutus runs wild for a bit and gets a kneelift on Perfect to set up the sleeper, but Genius breaks it up with the scroll and Perfect gets two with Hogan making the blatantly illegal save and probably bribing the ref in the process. Perfect puts the boots to Brutus while Bobby Heenan points out that if Hillbilly Jim can have his horseshoe at ringside, then why can’t Genius have his scroll? That’s why he’s the Brain. Twitter has taught me that whataboutism is a valid form of argument, especially in court. Also saying “everyone knows” is an excellent legal strategy if you don’t have evidence. Genius comes in and rakes the eyes while Jim calls him “limp wristed”, and then he chokes away in the corner. Really it was time to retire the Genius character because he was WAY over the top into stereotype cartoon territory and it wasn’t helping Perfect get to the main event level. Brutus finally fights back on Perfect and makes the hot tag to Hulk, but the ref missed it and the heels do more cheating as a result. Perfect with a clothesline and NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX, but Hulk makes the illegal save at two, thus violating the secret tag team rule. Vince McMahon was probably at the Gorilla position choking on his steak wrap in anger. Hulk gets the hot tag and beats on the Genius before dropping the leg for the pin at 15:10. All the Perfect somersaults in the world couldn’t save this one with Hogan and Beefcake working the match half-asleep. Granted he’d been working the same match with Perfect for weeks on end at that point so you can’t blame him too much. *1/2 And speaking of asleep, the Genius is still out, so he gets another haircut to end the tape.

And for one last payoff, we learn that it was the audio engineer messing with Sean Mooney the whole time.

Well the main event sucked but there are some hidden gems on this one, and I thought it was an excellent compilation and well worth watching.