The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 08.07.82
Okey doke, I’m over the Covid and survived two weeks of Starrcades, so let’s get back to some normal TV reviews again for a bit. I am quite relieved that Starrcade 99 kind of blew up on the blog after putting myself through the 3 hours of hell watching it. If it had only gotten like 20 comments that would have been somehow worse.
Sounds like my man Daryl Stewart is doing better as well, but we’ll dedicate this one to him again to make sure he stays cancer-free.
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your host is Bob Caudle
Jack Brisco joins us along with his good friend Wahoo, after regaining the Mid-Atlantic title from Roddy Piper on a recent live event. Now he’s just gonna need to get his $10,000 back from Piper as well. Also Wahoo throws out some footage of Ric Flair, who recently sent out a video promo announcing his return to the Carolinas (where he might even share some of his ladies, WOO!) and you can line up all the challengers for him. So Wahoo is excited to get a title shot at Flair, since the World title has eluded him all this time. Also we learn that Jimmy Valiant has beaten Ivan Koloff for the TV title, so everyone is happy for the moment. And if there’s one thing we know and love about Jim Crockett Promotions, it’s that babyfaces usually have long and prosperous title reigns!
Jack Brisco & Wahoo McDaniel v. Ben Alexander & David Patterson
Brisco controls the World’s Most Dangerous History Teacher with a facelock on the mat, and Wahoo comes in with a rollup for two as well. Wahoo works on Alexander’s arm with a wristlock, but Alexander hits Brisco with a knee to escape and it’s over to David Patterson. He beats on Brisco with forearms and Alexander slams Wahoo for two. He beats on Wahoo with forearms, but takes the TOMMY HAWK CHOP and Brisco drops an elbow on Ben for two. Brisco with a chinlock and it’s back to Wahoo for a powerslam that gets one. Patterson comes in and trade chops with Wahoo and that’s a mistake, before Brisco comes in and finishes him off with the butterfly suplex and figure-four at 5:03.
Bad Bad Leroy Brown v. Ron Ritchie
Brown gives Ron a couple of clean breaks on the ropes, so Ron grabs a headlock and Brown puts him down with a shoulderblock. You know, for a guy who supposedly sold out and upgraded all his gear, Brown still dresses like a TV jobber. Brown puts him down with another shoulderblock and goes to his own headlock before beating on him with a hiptoss and some forearms. We get some choking on the ropes and Leroy works the arm while Oliver Humperdink throws out a challenge to Andre the Giant on commentary. I don’t see that going well for Leroy, no matter how many “bads” he adds to his name. Brown beats on him in the corner some more and puts him down with a headbutt and back elbow. Brown with a press slam, but Ritchie makes a comeback and slugs away on the ropes, as Brown won’t sell anything and just cuts him off before dropping the big elbow at 6:26. Watching Brown here is like watching Tyrus today, as he lumbers around the ring and the smaller guy has to bounce off him to make him look passable. Ritchie had a LOT of potential at this point and they probably should have pushed him a lot harder than they did.
Slaughter’s Privates join us, still the Mid-Atlantic tag team champions, and they’re not afraid of Steamboat & Youngblood. They also announce that Wahoo won the US title from Sgt. Slaughter again, and apparently Sarge has now instructed his Privates to crush his opponents and make them bleed. Well that sounds unpleasant. Also Ivan Koloff notes that Russia has been proven to be the greatest country in the world, and to prove it he’ll beat American weaklings and force them to wear a dress. And he’s got a dress with him, luckily.
Ricky Steamboat v. Juan Renoso
Bearded Steamboat continues tripping me out. Renoso beats on him in the corner to start, but Ricky takes him down with a dropkick and headlock to take over. Bob Caudle is REALLY excited that Ric Flair is coming back to the territory soon! Steamboat continues controlling with the headlock, but Renoso finally escapes with a back elbow and goes to work on him in the corner. Steamboat fires back with chops for two and goes to a chinlock, but Renoso runs him into the corner to break free and slugs Steamboat down. Ricky fights back with a headbutt, but Renoso slams him and then misses an elbow. Steamboat comes back with a GIANT high knee and goes up to finish with the bodypress at 5:40. Man he got ALL of that knee.
Ricky Steamboat stops by the desk afterwards and congratulates Brisco and Valiant, but he’s also upset about Leroy Brown and they’ll met again someday.
Roddy Piper joins Bob at the desk, telling the story about how the kids are all rolling up cigarettes in their sleeves and going to jail. Well, he doesn’t smoke cigarettes and he’s never been in jail! What the actual hell is he talking about? Oliver Humperdink quickly interrupts and notes that if Piper had been working for the House of Humperdink, he might still be champion today. But Piper immediately tears up the contract offer and throws it in his face, storming off. Humperdink shrugs it off and carries on with Ivan Koloff, talking about how Jimmy Valiant stole the TV title from Ivan because he used a chair. Meanwhile Koloff is standing there with a SHOVEL and Siberian Salt Mining Glove, with a chain around his neck.
Porkchop Cash & King Parsons v. Ali Bey & Ken Timbs
Porkchop backdrops Timbs to start and drops a knee on him, and Parsons comes in with a slam for two. Cash works on the arm, but Ali Bey comes in and bearhugs Parsons to take over. Bey with a suplex for two. Cash takes him down for a kneedrop for two, but the heels cut off Cash and Timbs goes to work with a chinlock until Porkchop goes to work on the arm to take over again. But then Bey goes to another bearhug on Parsons, which seems to be a very effective strategy for him. He misses a stomp and Parsons makes a comeback, but Timbs rakes the eyes and the heels go to work again. The babyfaces regroup and Parsons gets a slam and three dropkicks on Bey for the pin at 6:55. Not a very impressive outing for Parsons and Cash here.
Mike Rotundo joins us for an electrifying promo early in his career, as he literally sounds like he’s reading off a cue card. So he tells us in a monotone that Paul Jones has sold out, and there’s more to life in wrestling besides money. Well THAT would certainly change for him later on. And with that terrible promo down, we get one from…Jay Youngblood? Well shit. He’s slightly better than Rotundo I guess and promises that Paul Jones will never be his friend again after turning on them. Actually true, as Jones became a manager and never turned back.
Jay Youngblood & Tim Horner v. Matt Borne & The Ninja
Youngblood comes out swinging on Borne, but Horner comes in and Borne quickly cuts him off and beats him down. Backdrop out of the corner and he follows with a delayed suplex, and the Ninja comes in with a diving headbutt to finish at 1:08.
Oliver Humperdink and his guys join Caudle again, and Oliver wants to stress that Roddy Piper is in a bad place right now and so he’s not offended at Piper turning down his offer earlier. Leroy Brown reminds us that he only wears diamond rings and expensive suits now, and Ricky Steamboat is costing him money, so they’re not friends anymore. And Humperdink runs down how all the babyfaces are going to pay, and maybe even one of his men will win the Mid-Atlantic title before Piper can regain it!
This House of Humperdink stuff is kind of a drag, but with Flair coming in right away and Piper seemingly about to turn, it really feels like a big shakeup is due soon and I’m there for it.