The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 07.31.82

The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 07.31.82

It’s the weekly dose of pick-me-up for Daryl Stewart in his mostly successful fight with cancer thus far! Are Slaughter’s Privates a cure for cancer after all? Huge if true.

I know you’re all still reeling like me from the heel turn of Bad Leroy Brown last week!

Taped from Charlotte, NC

Your host is Bob Caudle

Ivan Koloff joins us at the desk to start, but Matt Borne quickly interrupts and he wants to be part of Oliver Humperdink’s stable and make that same money that Leroy Brown is making now. Oliver promises to see him later, and then moves onto talking about Ivan Koloff getting busted open in cage matches by Jimmy Valiant over and over, and he’s had enough of it! So now Koloff wants a COAL MINER’S GLOVE MATCH, because Ivan’s father used to work in the mines in Russia and presumably beat him as a child with the glove to toughen him up. And since he’s a generous person, he’s not going to beat Jimmy half to death, but he’ll stop once Jimmy is unable to stand up. And he uses the glove to shred a newspaper, which is supposed to the analog for human skin. How can those gloves be OSHA approved?!?

Rick Steamboat v. Juan Renoso

Steamboat is suddenly in his beard phase, which always looks weird to me. Steamboat takes Renoso down and works a headlock. Renoso fights up, so Steamboat dropkicks him and takes him down with the headlock again. Renoso fights out and gets some chops, but Steamboat puts him down with a knee to the gut and goes to a chinlock. Renoso chops out again and chokes Steamboat on the ropes before getting some shots in the corner. Steamboat puts him down again with the big chop and Renoso does a funny delayed sell on that, and Steamboat goes back to the headlock again. And then he’s had enough and goes up to finish with a flying bodypress at 5:56, and then just runs right over to the desk to cut a promo without even stopping to get his hand raised. He’s disgusted with the actions of Leroy Brown! Well who isn’t?

Paul Jones & Jake Roberts v. Ken Timbs & David Patterson

Last week they did a whole thing where the babyface team couldn’t put Timbs away because he kept fighting, so we’ll see how Ken does this week. Patterson trades shoulderblocks with Jake, but Jake slams him and takes him down with an armbar. Bob is really excited about the match featuring Bad Bad Leroy Brown next, and notes that Bad Bad Leroy Brown is “plenty bad”. I figured as much. Over to Timbs and the faces double-team him, before Jones takes him down with an armdrag and works on that. Jake comes in with a kneelift and goes back to the arm. Patterson drops a knee on Jake and goes to a chinlock, and then cuts off a Jake comeback with a knee to the gut. They collide off a shoulderblock for a double down, but Paul Jones gets the tag and runs wild on Timbs. Jake tags back in and finishes with the kneelift at 4:43.

Bill White and Jim Dalton chat with Bob at the desk about their tag match tonight against Wahoo and Jack Brisco.

Bad Bad Leroy Brown v. King Parsons

See whereas before he was only Bad Leroy Brown, so now he’s extra bad and so has added another Bad to his nickname. He’s also got his beard dyed blond in the Vince McMahon “black people with blond hair are evil” theory. Brown hiptosses Parsons and stomps him down, but Parsons gets a dropkick and slugs away on the ropes. Brown chops him down and then beats him in the corner with the clubbing forearms. Parsons tries a springboard bodyblock, but Brown catches him and continues beating on him. Parson makes a comeback in the corner, but then Brown kind of falls on top of him and pins him at 3:49 in a weird finish that looked like a botch of some kind. The beating continues, but Porkchop Cash makes the save. This was, appropriately enough, a BAD BAD match. Brown is really awful and basically does nothing in there as a heel.

Bad Bad Leroy Brown and Humperdink join us at the desk afterwards, and Brown promises that he’s not afraid of Ricky Steamboat because he beats up three people who look just like him on the streets before lunchtime. Also the Ninja is randomly standing there in the background cleaning his sword, and Humperdink clarifies that Koloff’s specialty match is in fact the SIBERIAN SALT-MINER’S GLOVE MATCH. I guess they need lots of salt for the roads in Russia.

Sgt. Slaughter joins us, apparently taking the place of Roddy Piper this week because he’s still off in Hawaii spending all of Brisco’s money. Also he announces that Ric Flair is returning to the territory, and he’ll be teaming with Roddy Piper to face Brisco and Wahoo.

Sgt. Slaughter, Matt Borne & Gene Anderson v. Ron Ritchie, Mike Rotundo & Mike Davis

I thought Gene Anderson was done after him and Ole lost the tag titles months ago, especially with his ongoing medical issues. Ritchie fights off the heels to start, but Borne necks him on the top rope and drops a knee on him to take over. Rotundo comes in and Borne gets trapped in the babyface corner before fighting his way out and bringing Grandpa Gene back in. Davis quickly hits him with a backdrop and Ritchie dropkicks him for two as the faces are showing some good continuity here. They all take turns working on Gene’s arm and cut off the ring, but finally Sarge comes in to take care of business for himself and beats Ritchie into hamburger with chops and a big boot. Short arm lariat gets two. He beats on Ritchie with more clubbing forearms until Ritchie goes down. Borne comes in with a suplex for two, but Gene comes in again and the babyfaces go to work on him. So Sarge has to come in again, but Rotundo runs wild on him with slams and Davis slugs away in the corner. But then Slaughter puts him down with a back elbow and Borne finishes him off with a Whoopie Cushion at 5:50. A very fun tag match that kept the faces strong and continues to make Rotundo look like a rising star.

David Patterson and Ken Timbs join Bob at the desk, and they make SERIOUS ACCUSATIONS about Jake Roberts having a foreign object in his kneepad, which is the reason why the kneelift was able to finish him off. He’s nothing but a cheater! Bob is skeptical of these particular accusations.

Jack Brisco & Wahoo McDaniel v. Jim Dalton & Bill White

Wahoo quickly chops White down and chases him back to the corner, and then the faces double-team Dalton as well and work on his arm. Wahoo chops him down and then brings in White and the faces double-team him as well. Brisco drops a knee for two. Wahoo backdrops White and adds a butterfly suplex for two before going to a chinlock. Brisco comes in, dropkicks White, and finishes with the figure-four at 4:00.

And we finish with Wahoo and Brisco continuing their threats to Roddy Piper. Jack is still feeling guilty about losing Wahoo’s $2000, but Wahoo isn’t concerned about that money because he spends that on beer on a good night. And Wahoo is just gonna take $2000 out of Piper’s hide anyway.

We’re feeling the lack of Piper a little bit on these summer episodes but this continues to be an enjoyable hour of wrestling to watch.