The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 07.17.82
I’m thinking we’re gonna have a hard time topping the last episode with the Piper v. Brisco title change match, but once again cancer survivalist Darryl Stewart needs a pick-me-up, and I’m here for it.
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your host is Bob Caudle
Jack Brisco joins us with footage of Piper using the roll of coins to win the Mid-Atlantic title last week, thus costing his friends thousands of dollars that they staked for him. But he’s confident he’ll regain the title from Piper the next time he gets a shot. Also Jack keeps saying “VTR” as if that’s a term we should all be familiar with. I’m assuming it stands for “Video tape replay”? I barely would have had access to a video tape machine in 1982. We didn’t have one until somewhere around 1984, a Betamax with a wired remote control with one button to pause and unpause recordings.
Jake Roberts & Jimmy Valiant v. Jim Dalton & Juan Renoso
Well that’s quite the odd couple on the babyface side. I guess they can bond over drugs. Jake works on Renoso’s arm. Over to Dalton, who is certainly a guy who had been around the block a time or 18 by 1982, and they manage to trap Roberts in the corner and double-team him for a bit. Jake whips Renoso into Valiant’s foot, however, and Jimmy finishes with the elbowdrop at 3:20.
Sadly, we don’t even get a promo from the babyfaces.
Sgt. Slaughter’s Privates v. Mike Davis & Porkchop Cash
Nelson gets caught in the babyface corner and Porkchop beats on him there, and then lets Kernodle in and takes him down with a toehold on the mat. Nelson breaks it up and Cash has both of Slaughter’s Privates all over him in the ropes. Nelson with a chinlock, but Cash fights back with a headbutt on Kernodle. But Cash fails to make the tag and he gets smothered by Slaughter’s Privates and they’re really all over him again. Mike Davis gets the hot tag and he runs wild, dropkicking both of Slaughter’s Privates, but Kernodle comes in with a top rope clothesline to finish at 4:55.
Slaughter’s Privates join us at the desk, once again Mid-Atlantic tag team champions, and they want everyone who wants a title shot to remember what happened to Wahoo McDaniel and how he ended up in the hospital because he was so overwhelmed by Slaughter’s Privates!
Matt Borne, Ivan Koloff & Sgt. Slaughter v. Ron Ritchie, King Parsons & Abe Jacobs
Sarge takes Ritchie down with hiptosses, as Bob reminds us that we had the opportunity to see Slaughter’s Privates earlier. I don’t think any of us will forget it. Slaughter controls Ritchie on the mat and Ivan comes in with a rollup for two, but Ron flips him over with a headscissors from the mat. Over to Parsons, who slugs away in the corner, but Borne comes in with a snapmare and drops a knee on him. The best part of the show so far is some heel fan in the crowd yelling “Maniac! Maniac!” to cheer on Borne, and then you hear one of the girls near him shriek “SHUT UP!” in disgust. Jacobs, who looks 85 years old, comes in and quickly gets battered in the heel corner before escaping and bringing Parsons back in. Backdrop on Ivan, but he misses a splash and Sarge comes in with a standing dropkick and kneedrop for two. Borne with a delayed suplex for two, but Parsons fights back with a sunset flip on Ivan for two. So Slaughter beats on Parsons with forearms, but he manages to tag in Jacobs and he backdrops Slaughter for two. Not sure why this guy is getting shine. Over to Ritchie, and he runs wild on the heels and backdrops Borne out of the corner and adds one for Koloff. Back to Parsons and he runs wild with dropkicks, but tags in Jacobs, who quickly eats a Slaughter Cannon and gets pinned at 8:29. This was a pretty good match! A quick check reveals that Jacobs was another guy who had been around forever, starting his career in 1958 and ending it shortly after this.
Sgt. Slaughter joins us to discuss all the matches with Wahoo that’s being forced to take. And Wahoo has busted up his face so badly that they won’t even let him into the barracks and his dog attacks him! Man that’s rough. So he’s gonna take out his pain on Wahoo. Next up, Ivan Koloff is carrying around a shovel, which he’s going to use on, how you say, Boogie Woogie Man.
Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood v. Bill White & The Monk
Steamboat rolls up White, who tags in the Monk to escape, so Steamboat catches the Monk with an armdrag on the way into the ring in a slick move. Youngblood comes in and works on the arm. Back to Steamboat, but the heels manage to double-team him for a bit. On commentary, Oliver Humperdink puts over his Ninja, noting that if he faced Steamboat, he would “chop him up quicker than a butcher chops chopped liver”. Wait, why would he chop liver if it was already chopped? Is he making pate? I’m finding this analogy very confusing. White gets a dropkick on Steamboat for two while Caudle accuses Humperdink of being biased towards the Ninja. Youngblood gets a hot tag and beats on the Monk with chops, and Steamboat finishes with a samoan drop at 5:12.
Wahoo McDaniel & Jack Brisco v. David Patterson & Ben Alexander
The pre-match promo from the jobbers is pretty funny, as Alexander notes that Wahoo “chops like a butterfly” and Patterson throws him under the bus and disavows him, telling him that he can go in there and take the chops, then. Also the promo from Jack Brisco gives us a clip of Roddy Piper from Worldwide, as he has literally turned Brisco’s money into accessories for his shirt while drinking expensive champagne on Brisco’s dime. And we’re supposed to BOO HIM?!? Brisco quickly takes Alexander, the world’s most dangerous history teacher, down with a headscissors and works the arm. Over to Wahoo, who wraps up Alexander with a crucifix for two. Patterson comes in and quickly gets backdropped by Brisco, then walks into Wahoo’s chop in the corner, which gets two for Brisco. Patterson manages a kneedrop for two and brings Alexander back into the ring, but Wahoo quickly pounds him with the chops. Brisco drops an elbow and Wahoo puts Alexander down with another chop and Brisco finishes him with the figure-four at 4:33.
Wahoo McDaniel accuses Sgt. Slaughter of kicking his own Privates around the barracks. Huge if true. Also if Slaughter doesn’t want to be beaten on a continuous basis every week, he should just give up the US title and let Wahoo have it back! Can’t argue with that logic. And with that, we’re out for the week!