The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.05.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 10.05.22

Live from Washington, DC, with a rather small looking crowd tonight. They really need to try some new markets on the West Coast or something.

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

MJF v. Wheeler Yuta

William Regal clarifies that he would never take liberties with Tony like MJF did, because while he is a villain, he has his limits. MJF stalls to start, but Yuta puts him down with a dropkick, so MJF runs him into the turnbuckles and stomps him down to take over. Max with the chinlock and he counters a jawbreaker into a backbreaker and tilt-a-whirl slam for two as we take a break. Back with Yuta getting a small package for two and he hits some rolling germans for two. But Yuta hangs on and hits another suplex, and MJF calmly rolls to the corner when Yuta goes to the top, then suckers him in for a double stomp to the arm. Yuta tries another german and MJF goes to the arm to escape and then counters a rana into a NASTY powerbomb onto his knee for two. Yuta fights back with an enzuigiri, but MJF gets a sunset flip for two and they trade near falls off that and then get another crazy series of reversals for near-falls until both guys clothesline each other for a double down. MJF misses a blind charge and Yuta goes up, but MJF brings him down on the ol’ yam bag and tries for a tombstone from the top. Yuta escapes that and rakes the face for good measure, then brings MJF down with a top rope rana. MJF bails to escape, so Yuta hits him with a tope suicida and back into the ring, where MJF rolls away from him again and Yuta hits a flying splash anyway for two. Yuta beats him on him with elbows and goes for the cradle, but Max reverses to the armbar to pay off the arm work earlier, and Yuta has to tap at 16:00 after nearly making the ropes. Everything after the break was fantastic. **** Afterwards, Yuta offers the handshake of respect, but Lee Moriarty pops into the ring and attacks, which MJF did not approve in advance. MJF gets the diamond ring and loads it up, but William Regal heads down with the BRASS KNUCKLES and warns him off. I would listen to that man, we already know he’s a proper villain. Obviously the hesitation on MJF’s part is the start of what everyone has been waiting to see.

Meanwhile, the Jericho Appreciation Society is really disappointed in Daniel Garcia.

Jay Lethal v. Darby Allin

They trade takedowns and headlocks to start, but Darby gets a springboard armdrag for two. Lethal takes out the knee and stomps on that to take over, but Darby stomps Lethal’s knee from his back and gets a guillotine, into a Scorpion Deathdrop as we take a break. Back with Lethal in control as he works on the leg and then hits Darby with a german suplex and dragon screws him into a figure-four. Darby makes the ropes and tries the stunner, but Lethal fights that off, and Darby blocks the Lethal Injection and gets a Code Red for two. This brings out Lethal’s goons, but Darby rolls him up for two and then finishes with the Last Supper at 10:22. And Darby actually gets a handshake out of him. ***1/4

TNT title: Wardlow v. Brian Cage

Come on, Wardlow has a new micro-brawler advertised, Cage has no chance here. They slug it out for a HOSS FIGHT to start, but Wardlow takes him down with a rana, and Cage fires back with his own, setting up a 619. Wardlow catches that and slams Cage, but Cage manages to escape the powerbomb and we take a break. Back with Cage hitting him with a knee into the corner, but Wardlow pops up to the top rope with an incredible corkscrew dive out of the corner and a german suplex. He follows with a belly to belly and goes up, but Cage brings him down with a deadlift superplex for two. Wardlow escapes the Drillclaw and hits a spinebuster for two. Cage counters a lariat with an F5 for two. Cage goes for the powerbomb symphony of his own, but Wardlow escapes and headbutts him to set up a lariat, and then finishes with the original powerbomb symphony at 10:04. Crazy good power match as they just went out and walloped each other for 10 minutes and it was awesome. ***3/4 Afterwards, the Embassy attack, but Samoa Joe saves as the saga of Ward-Joe continues. They can’t pull it off, so FTR makes the final save for the big pop and chases off the heels. I presume this sets up an FTR title defense against the Samoan guys? This was great but having Wardlow get wrapped into the waste of time that is ROH is a dead end street for him.

Meanwhile, Dr. Britt Baker DMD announces that Saraya is still not medically cleared, so she needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap and sent on her way.

Penelope Ford, Serena Deeb & Jamie Hayter v. SARAYA PRESENTS: Athena, Toni Storm & Willow Nightingale

Athena and Ford trade flips to start and Athena catches a crossbody attempt and slams her for two. Athena gets trapped by the heels and Ford hits a handspring elbow. Over to Deeb, and Toni beats on her and hits a forearm in the corner, setting up the HIP ATTACK OF DEATH, but Deeb clips the knee and we take a break. Back with Storm fighting off Deeb again, but Deeb takes out the knee and we get a cool spot where Deeb does a deathlock on the knee while hitting Athena with a suplex at the same time. Willow gets the hot tag and powerbombs Hayter for two. This prompts Rebel to pull out her old crutch and go for a cheapshot, but Saraya steals it to foil their plans. Willow continues running wild with a pounce on Deeb, but everyone comes in with the big moves for the PIER SIX BRAWL. Penelope counters a bridge from Willow into a cutter for two, but she tries a handspring and Willow dropkicks her into a powerbomb to finish at 10:03. Hey! Willow WINS finally! That’s what we need more of, pulling the trigger on new talent that are getting over instead of just having everyone come close and fail valiantly. *** Afterwards, Saraya gets goaded into a fight with Britt, and everyone brawls, leaving Saraya standing tall again.

Meanwhile, Jose the Assistant points out that Private Party haven’t been holding up their end of the team lately and once again we get accusations of CONTRACT TAMPERING.

National Scissoring Day Celebration: The Acclaimed join us for the new national holiday. Sadly, Canada did not declare it a stat holiday, so I still had to work today. Bowens runs down the accomplishments of his team and how he knows a thing or two about scissoring. And scissoring represents two friends coming together, unlike two singles wrestlers thrown together like Swerve and Keith Lee. So Daddy Ass (who is a big deal in DC) presents them with a golden scissors from the Capital, and then the whole audience is encouraged to scissor with each other as Bowens tempts fate and runs with the scissors. And although DC may divide America, EVERYONE LOVES THE ACCLAIMED. Well, everyone except Swerve, who has to interrupt the big scissoring finale and complain that Billy Gunn cost him the tag team titles, so next week it’s Swerve v. Daddy Ass in Toronto. And he’s got a rock, which beats scissors. So then Mark Sterling comes out with a piece of paper, which covers rock, and offers his services for the match. And of course that goes badly for him, and we get the big scissoring after all while Swerve looks on in disgust like a supervillain. This was all delightful and something special to watch as the Acclaimed keep finding new levels of babyface overness. By being POSITIVE and not bitching about how they hate being there! Imagine that.

Meanwhile, the Andrade mask challenge is out and Dark Order is now challenging for the Trios titles on Rampage instead.

Meanwhile, Madison Rayne is taking Skye Blue under her wing, but Anna Jay and Tay interrupt and issue a challenge for Rampage. There’s gotta be a Rayne-Skye pun there.

Rush v. Hangman Page

Hey, if Andrade is gone, they can always bring in Bandido now to take his spot and it’s an immediate upgrade. They slug it out to start and Rush is Tranquilo, but Jose the Assistant trips up Page and Rush beats on him outside. Rush chokes him out with a TV cable and sends him into the railing as we take a break. Back with Hangman making a comeback, but Rush runs him into the corner, so Page tosses him and hits him with a dive. Back in the ring, Page catches him with a death valley driver for two. They trade elbows and Page gets a jackknife cradle for two, but he tries the Buckshot, and Rush counters him with a headbutt and piledriver for two. But then Page blasts out of the corner with a lariat and finishes with the buckshot at 9:38. I dunno, this was a bit of a style clash and they never really found a groove together. **1/2 This brings out Private Party to tease a beating, but Moxley heads down to call them off because he wants to break Page’s face himself in 13 days. Because Page is in his way. So Hangman is like “THEM’S FIGHTING WORDS!” and Moxley forgives him this once and declines the fight tonight.

Meanwhile, Willow wants a title shot at Jade based on her win tonight, so that’s on Battle of the Belts.

Luchasaurus v. Fuego del Sol

Quick win for the dinosaur at 0:30. Jungle Boy saves from a further beating and challenges Luchasaurus to a match, which will be next week in Toronto.

I’m dubious about the quality potential for Battle of the Belts. Rampage looks like the better show by far, and I don’t see them holding an audience for another two hour show with that lineup.

Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara v. Daniel Garcia & Bryan Danielson

I’m been workshopping some clever names for the team of Daniel and Bryan, but nothing comes to mind at the moment. We are running LATE, but I DVR for 3 hours and keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency anyway. Jericho accepts the code of honor from Daniel to start, but Garcia rides him on the mat while a fan wins the sign war for the night with “Hire an HR Expert”. Also, TSN would like to alert me that tennis will immediately follow AEW Dynamite. Whew. I was getting worried. Danielson beats on Garcia with kicks in the corner and then dives onto Jericho outside and we take a break. Back with Danielson running wild on Sammy with a butterfly suplex out of the corner, but he goes up and Sammy brings him down with a Spanish fly for two. Le Sex Gods stop for some posing, but Garcia gets the tag and has a staredown with Jericho before it turns into a slugfest. Garcia with a suplex for two and he follows with a PK, but Jericho takes him down for the Walls, and Garcia reverses him into the Dragon Tamer. Sammy breaks that up with a superkick and then dives onto Danielson for good measure. DAMMIT, TSN reminds me that’s currently missing the ATP 500 Tokyo as well. This show is a menace. Don’t worry, you can always watch the tennis on TSN’s garbage app. Garcia suckers Sammy into a cutter attempt and reverses him into a choke and a crossface, and then the team of Daniel and Bryan do the Combat Club elbows in stereo, but Sammy flips out of a suplex attempt and hits Bryan with another Spanish Fly and gets two on Garcia. GTH on Garcia, but he reverses to a piledriver for two before Jericho saves. Danielson hits Jericho with a knee to take him out on the floor, and Sammy trades superkicks with Garcia and they’re both out. Sammy with another GTH on Garcia while Danielson and Jericho destroy an innocent ringside table. But Sammy goes up for a shooting star press and Garcia blocks it and puts him in the Dragon Slayer. And then Jericho breaks it up with the ROH title, putting Sammy on top for the win at 15:00. That one didn’t work for me. Putting Sammy over after his whole spoiled man-child act this past week feels like some bad optics, especially for someone who is developing “go away” heat at the moment and probably needs to literally go away for a while. The match was kind of a mess with some good spots here and there, and the ending was a downer, and overall it was fine but I wasn’t a big fan. **1/2

I thought everyone on this up until the Scissoring Day was tremendous, and it kind of fell off for me after that and burned out. But that’s still a good ratio and it was a really good show overall.