The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 06.19.22
The wheel of random territories lands on Mid-Atlantic this week, once again dedicated to helping out reader Daryl Stewart in his continuing battle with the Big C. No not Calgary although that’s almost as bad.
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your host is Bob Caudle
Rowdy Roddy Piper joins us at the desk to start with a “Piper Pays Back” t-shirt to put over his mood. So we get tape from last week’s show, with Piper attacking Jack Brisco during a match against the Magnificent Muraco and just beating the hell out of him until the unlikely duo of Paul Jones and Jimmy Valiant make the save. But this leaves Jack with a knee injury, which I’m sure will factor in down the line. Back at the desk, Piper promises that if he had connected with a missed chairshot, Jack’s head would have exploded “like the gum that goes squirt” because he’s a maniac who won’t live to be 30 because he eats raw meat and grabs his women by the hair. Man I used to love that gum when I was a kid. Can’t even remember the name of it.
King Kong Mosca v. King Parsons
Bob Caudle clarifies that the deal where all matches had to have a finish is now OVER and they’ll be looking it over in a committee and deciding what to do. So it’s back to DQs and countouts again around the horn, baby. Mosca beats on Parsons and goes to a chinlock, but Parsons fights out and Mosca demands that the referee enforce the rope break rules. Next up: He complains that Parsons “has grease all over”. So Mosca beats on him some more and goes to another chinlock, but Parsons takes him down with a spinning toehold and works the leg on the mat. Mosca has had enough of that and just rams Parsons’ head into the mat a bunch of times before no-selling a charge from Parsons and booting him down. Parsons fights back and the ref pulls him off in the corner repeatedly, so Mosca puts him down with an elbow for the pin at 5:43. That ref was a tad racist, I think, because he was favoring Mosca for the entire match for some reason. I mean, it was 1982, and the Dukes were driving around with a confederate flag on their car, so it was a different time. 0 for 1.
Jack Brisco v. Juan Renoso
The jobber smartly goes right after the bad knee and beats on it in the corner to start, but Brisco stuffs him with a facelock and hits him with knees. Renoso fights out of that, but Brisco backdrops him and puts him away with the figure-four at 3:10. Jack had a really good figure-four, actually. 0 for 2.
The NINJA& Ivan Koloff v. Ron Ritchie & Rusty Roberts
The Ninja is dressed like the Great Muta and would eventually be known as Mr. Pogo in Japan. This marks the debut of Sir Oliver Humperdink as a manager in the territory, and Ritchie puts up a fight on the heels before the heels destroy his geek partner. Back to Ron and he takes Ivan down with a monkey flip and brings Roberts back in, and that guy immediately gets walloped by the Ninja with chops. Uncle Ivan gets a back elbow for two and works on Roberts with a chinlock, before the Ninja chops him down and goes to his own chinlock. Ritchie manages to stretch his arm enough to get the tag in a nice little spot and he runs wild on the heels, but he walks into a knee from Uncle Ivan, who clotheslines him on the top rope. And the Ninja goes up with a diving headbutt to finish at 6:40. Hey, Ron was game this week. 1 for 3.
Wahoo McDaniel and Jack Brisco join Bob at the desk, and we’ve got some film of Brisco going for the World title against Ric Flair recently. Flair grabs the belt and tries to walk out, but Brisco brings him back in the ring with a rollup for two, but Flair hits him with the belt to draw the DQ and save his title. Also we get footage of Wahoo facing Flair in Florida on TV, as they do a crazy exchange of chops but we don’t see the finish. So Wahoo relates the story of how he was laying in the hospital and the NWA came to his room and took the US title back, awarding it to Sgt. Slaughter just because he was in a coma and unable to defend it! How’s THAT fair?
Keith Larson v. David Patterson
To recap again, Larson is the brother of Don Kernodle and is better known as Rocky Kernodle later on, while Patterson completely changed his look and became Fidel Sierra the Cuban Assassin later on. Patterson gets a couple of slams, but Larson comes back with armdrags and chases him to the floor. Back in, Larson works the arm, but Patterson slugs him into the corner while vocalizing like Iron Mike Sharpe, and then misses a charge and allows Larson to go back to the arm again. Patterson slugs him down for two, but Larson makes the comeback with a dropkick for two and drops the leg for two. Larson tries a dramatic crossbody out of the corner, but he misses and Patterson puts him away with a kneelift at 4:44. Interesting, I thought Larson was the star being featured in this one. Good little match. 2 for 4.
Slaughter’s Privates and their new partner, the Monk, join Bob at the desk. Don Kernodle relays the message that Sarge is on layover in Hawaii and enjoying his newly won US title with some good looking women. Kernodle is pretty mad at the “Hershey bar boys” King Parsons and Porkchop Cash, who stole the Mid-Atlantic titles from them. Um. Well that’s a bit problematic.
Slaughter’s Privates & The Monk v. Jake Roberts, Jay Youngblood & Paul Jones
Jones puts Nelson down right away and brings in Jake, so Nelson runs away and Kernodle comes in. Roberts backdrops him out of the corner and it’s over to Jay Youngblood, who is MIGHTY over. Jay works a headlock on Nelson and puts him down with a double chop (which Caudle calls a “tommy hawk chop”) and dropkicks him back into the corner to bring in the Monk. The Monk doesn’t appear to have any particular religious affiliation and he’s just a generic bald mean guy in black trunks. He doesn’t do much with Paul Jones and lets Nelson come in again, but Jones takes him down with a monkey flip and then hits Kernodle with a back elbow before the babyfaces triple-team him in the corner. Youngblood with two off that, but Kernodle necks him on the top rope and Nelson drops an elbow on him for two. The Monk comes in with some clubbing forearms and goes to a headlock, and Kernodle dropkicks Youngblood for two. Kernodle drops a knee for two, and Jay gets worked over by Slaughter’s Privates as they bounce off him in the corner and they’re really just draped all over Jay. Finally it’s hot tag Jake, and he hits Monk with a kneelift, setting up Paul Jones for a clip to the knee, and Jay Youngblood finishes with a double chop at 7:00 to a giant pop. 3 for 5.
Paul Jones doesn’t want to sell Slaughter’s Privates short, as they were getting it from both ends with them. And then we get to hear Jay Youngblood try to do a promo again. Well he’s got the point-to-camera thing down at least. Jake Roberts, meanwhile, didn’t come back from blindness to wrestle the Monk, and revenge is best served COLD, and he wants revenge on the Ninja, and he’s come back as THE SNAKE and he’s gonna bite and it’ll be nasty. This was actually a marked departure from Jake’s stoic Sam Eliot cowboy character he had been doing up until that point, and it was for the better.
Always good to whip out Slaughter’s Privates on a Monday night.