The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 01.12.90
Look, I know wrestling Twitter is all ablaze with wild speculation about the Coliseum Video rants and everything happening behind the scenes, but I have to insist that everyone stop e-mailing about it! My legal team is just putting the final touches on an agreement and then we can put all the rumors to rest once and for all. I mean, granted there was a bit of a minor setback and everything is like 20% under control, but I just want to stress that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to, because this is AMERICA. Oh, wait, I guess it’s not. OK, maybe 15% then. Still solid odds for Russian roulette.
This week on the Power Hour: TRIPLE MAIN EVENT.
Taped from Gainesville, GA, which is allegedly so low class that they hang up their toilet paper to dry. Huge if true.
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jim Cornette
Steve Williams v. Brodie Chase
Brodie has quite the look going on. A permed mullet is certainly a choice. He tries some shoulderblocks and gets taken out of the ring as a result, and back in for a press slam from Doc. Doc throws him back to the floor again and then dropkicks him off the apron while JR names a bunch of tough football players I’ve never heard of. Doc with a top rope forearm smash and he snapmares Chase for two. Wait a sec, JR mentioned Mongo! I know him! Doc goes with a chinlock and then blocks a bodypress attempt with a powerslam before dropkicking him again for two. What’s with Doc and the dropkick this week? It’s not like he’s good at it. Chase makes a brief comeback, but Doc elevates him for a faceplant and then stretches him on the mat. Chase gets ANOTHER comeback for some reason, but Williams slugs him down and finishes with the Stampede at 6:52. Hopefully this isn’t classified as one of the main events. 0 for 1.
WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!
That logo always bothered me, because the middle “N” looked all crooked. This week’s piece of news: Kerry Von Erich has left World Class and is negotiating with the NWA! Interesting, I never knew they actually acknowledged that on TV before. If they had gotten him in on time, they could have used him as a substitute for Sting instead of turning Luger babyface. Negotiations actually got pretty far before falling apart, possibly because even WCW couldn’t supply enough coke for Kerry’s needs. Also Gordon wants to see Dr. Death getting his shit together and reaching his full potential. Well, not in WCW, that’s for sure.
NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Eddie Gilbert
I had no idea Eddie was still floating around the NWA by this point. Cornette gets some pretty funny riffing on JR, noting that he went on two diets, because he wasn’t getting enough to eat on the first one. Also, he took up jogging, but had to quit because he kept running into restaurants. Gilbert gives him a clean break in the corner, but Flair slugs him down and then takes him down with an armbar. Gilbert tries a comeback while Woman and Nitron join us at ringside, but Flair works a wristlock. Gilbert takes him down with a figure-four, but Flair reverses, so Eddie wraps his leg around the post and goes to work on it again. Flair comes back with chops in the corner, but he tries a slam and Gilbert falls on top for two. Gilbert actually calls loudly for the Hotshot and actually hits it, but Flair gets his foot on the ropes at two. The crowd barely even reacted to that near fall, which shows you where Gilbert was sitting on the totem pole then. They exchange chops and Flair makes the comeback, but Gilbert cuts him off with a clothesline for two. Small package gets two, but Flair reverses for three to retain at 8:21. Fun little TV match for these two. 1 for 2.
Funk’s Grill with Terry Funk. Call the NWA Hotline to rap with the Funker! Terry’s version of a rap is…interesting. The guest this week is Kevin Sullivan, who destroyed the painting that Norman showed us last week, and Terry is pretty annoyed by this. Kevin thinks that maybe Norman reminds Terry of his brother Dory, because he’s a nitwit. Terry thinks that both Norman and Dory are compassionate, but Sullivan thinks that’s crap, and tells a story about his father putting him in a tree and telling him to do a trust fall, and then moving out of the way and letting him hit the ground. That’s compassion! Terry clarifies that he’s never kicked a dog or beaten up a child, which is pretty much what Kevin did when he smashed up that painting.
World TV title: The Great Muta v. Arn Anderson
Cornette predicts that the Andersons being all nice to the fans is going to be their downfall. Muta grabs a headlock and Arn takes him down for two, so Muta bails to regroup. Back in, Muta gets a double wristlock, but Arn goes to work on the arm while the J-Tex heels join us at ringside. Muta misses a kick and Arn suplexes him and takes him down with a headlock while JR wonders if “there’s any nice-looking oriental guys?” Well, I mean, clearly the answer is Kota Ibushi, but JR wouldn’t know that yet. Muta escapes with a superkick and drops the power elbow to take over, then tosses Arn to the floor and runs him into the railing. Back in, Muta hits a flying chop off the top and he follows with the handspring elbow and then gets a double chickenwing with the bridge, but Arn headbutts out of it and slugs away on the mat. But then Muta puts him down with a spinkick while Buzz Sawyer and Dragon Master put the badmouth on him. Granted I can kind of understand JR’s point about nice looking people because they’re both exceedingly ugly sons of bitches. Muta chokes Arn out in the corner, but Arn fights back with a boot rake and slugs away, then takes him down with an atomic drop, as Muta does a Rick Rude sell of that one. So Arn does it again and beats on him in the corner before following with a hammerlock slam and abdominal stretch. Arn makes the ropes and Muta takes him to the floor and runs him into the railing, but back in Arn catches Muta with his head down and fights back with the spinebuster. The Dragon Master takes the ref and Buzz Sawyer clobbers Arn behind the ref’s back, and that gets two for Muta. Muta puts him down with a spinkick and goes up for the moonsault, but Arn gets the knees up and hits the DDT to win the title at 13:12. 2 for 3, and Arn was motivated enough that it was a ***1/2 match. And poor Arn doesn’t even get the belt here, because Muta didn’t bring it with him! Because WCW. Granted this wasn’t a particularly memorable title reign for Arn, despite lasting a year, because he was mostly doing tag team matches for 1990. In fact I don’t even recall him defending it on Clashes or PPV in the entire time he held it, but maybe we’ll see some defenses from him as we work through 1990 TV.
And then Buzz Sawyer challenges Arn to a match for the title next week on the Power Hour! Case in point.
Wait, so that Steve Williams squash was one of the main events? Weird. Two really good matches this week, though.