The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 01.05.90

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 01.05.90

After I did that episode of Main Event last time, people told me Power Hour is where the action is. Well luckily I’ve got those too.

Also, I know I’ve been doing the Coliseum Videos on Tuesday nights and I was wanting to go back and do stuff like the “Tag Team Champions” video to continue on, but there’s been some legal entanglements regarding the website sale and content I didn’t realize until recently. I should hopefully have it worked out by next week. Regardless, I need something quick to watch tonight because I’ve got tickets to John Fogerty, which is one of my bucket list concerts.

Taped from Peoria, IL

Your host is Jim Cornette (who is disgusted just to be in Peoria), with Jim Ross on commentary. The hotel was so small that they stole HIS towels!

The Z-Man v. Galaxian II

Zenk is lucky that it’s not Galaxian #1, because he’d be screwed. Zenk gets a rollup for two as apparently talented jobber Lee Scott has now transitioned to a referee, which seems like a waste. The only thing lower than Crockett jobbers are referees. Might as well go to law school at that point if you’re made enough bad choices in your life that you’re refereeing. Also he has a moustache like a 17 year old drug dealer that is working towards his GED because he REALLY wants to show your daughter that he can change, so there’s that. Zenk works a headlock on the mysterious Galaxian Dos, as I have to wonder how they know that it’s the other Galaxian. Do they take it on faith from them? Zenk with a headscissor takedown and the Galaxian decides to offer a truce, but JR advices never to trust a man who wears a mask. That’s pretty disrespectful to his current commentary partner. I hope someone sends this clip to Excalibur and Twitter and calls him out for it. The Galaxian in fact does a handshake and does not turn on Zenk, although he does thumb his nose at the fans. Zenk backdrops him and he lands on his feet, so Zenk catapults him to the floor. Apparently there are rumors of Zenk and Pillman forming a tag team combination in the near future, which of course is huge if true. Back in the ring, Galaxian hides in the ropes and then hits Zenk with a cheapshot to take over. Zenk fights back with an atomic drop and yanks Galaxian out of the corner by the feet, and then slingshots him in from the apron. Galaxian gets another cheapshot and drops a knee on Zenk for two, but Zenk makes another comeback and rams him into the turnbuckles for two. Zenk takes him down with a headscissors and goes up with a missile dropkick to finish at 10:14. Well that was long, but it was certainly a decent match, if baffling to book a squash to go 10 minutes like that. 1 for 1. If it’s the standard Galaxians than this would have been “Nightmare” Ken Wayne under the mask, which probably explains the extended length.

THE WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!

Gordon is here to answer some questions this week, predicting that the Horsemen will add a fourth member at some point in 1990, and the World title will change hands at some point in the year as well. Some bold prognostications from Solie. Also he lists Jumbo Tsuruta as a threat to Flair’s title. Really? Also Gordon thinks that the tag team titles will change hands several times. Well, once. Ironically, his last “prediction” is that the NWA will remain the symbol of excellence in wrestling for years to come, which was one thing that definitely did not come true because the company changed their name by the end of the year.

Jim Cornette is still trying to get out of Peoria, but his mother revoked his Platinum Amex card so he’s stuck there.

Flyin’ Brian Pillman v. Cactus Jack Manson

This is from Worldwide, as Terry Funk talks about Jack being from “the land of enchantment”, New Mexico, and Pillman hits him with dropkicks to put him down. Jack sends him to the floor and runs him into the railing. Pillman slingshots back in for two and they exchange chops before Pillman takes him down with an armbar. Jack slugs out in the corner, but charges and runs himself into the post in a crazy bump for a nothing show, and then takes Pillman to the floor with the Cactus Clothesline. Pillman wasn’t sure what to do with that one and Jack had to guide him over. Back in, Jack necks him on the top rope for two and follows with a neckbreaker for two. Russian legsweep gets two. Pillman fights back with the backdrops and he throws chops in the corner, but Jack fires back with a corner clothesline to put him down again, but Pillman catches him with a crucifix for the pin at 5:50. Young Mick Foley was something to behold at this point and I’m astonished that they didn’t realize what they had in him. 2 for 2. Well actually it’s WCW so I’m not entirely astonished.

Funk’s Grill with Terry Funk. This week’s guest is Woman, while Norman paints a portrait in the background. Woman had previously said she likes cowboys, so Funk suggests putting a 10 gallon hat and spurs…on Norman, and letting him ride on a bull to win her over. Funk’s delivery on that was hilarious. Woman tells off Norman and Funk is all offended that she would lip off to his friend, so Funk threatens to smack Woman and Norman stands up for her because his mother taught him not to hit women. So Funk sends her away and uninvites her from Funk’s Grill! That’s worse than blocking someone on Twitter. This was…something.

The Andersons v. The New Zealand Militia

The New Zealanders are really leaning into the dumb gimmick now, with fancy costumes and Lord Littlebrook as a manager. Ole and Arn were still babyfaces at this point, if you can wrap your head around that, with Arn freshly returned from the WWF. Ole and Victory fight for the lockup to start and the Andersons double-team Jack in their corner, as Arn grabs the arm and goes to work on it. Over to Rip Morgan, but Arn also takes him down and beats on the arm in a hammerlock. Over to Ole, but Rip slams out of the hammerlock and drops an elbow on him for one. Arn works on Victory’s arm while JR makes short jokes about Littlebrook. Well, I never. Thankfully I’m far above such small minded comments and low brow humor. Now the Militia works on Arn’s arm in the corner because let’s face it, no one wants to see Ole Anderson as face in peril. Arn fights up from the armbar, but Rip knees him from the apron and they work him over in the kiwi corner. Arn fights back with a sunset flip on Rip for two and brings Ole back in and they beat on Rip for a bit. And then Ole gets caught in the corner and worked over as even JR is like “Yeah, it’s weird watching the Andersons work babyface”. Arn yanks out Victory and runs him into the railing to make a comeback, and then comes in with a spinebuster, but Victory rakes the eyes and brings Morgan back in. This is dragging on longer than a federal investigation of Vince McMahon. Ole comes in and misses a blind charge in the corner, allowing Victory to put the boots to him. Morgan goes up and was supposed to miss a legdrop, but kind of hits it, and they both sell it, allowing Ole to make a tag to Arn. Good lord just put this match out of our misery. Arn runs wild with a gourdbuster on Morgan and steals Littlebrook’s cane, hitting Victory for the pin at 13:28. Pro tip: The Andersons as babyfaces are NO BUYS. 2 for 3.

And our Power Hour wrestler of the week: THE Z-MAN! Cornette disagrees with the choice but it wasn’t his to make.

Two good matches, one pretty atrocious one, but that’s what you get some weeks.

Next week: Arn Anderson challenges Great Muta for the TV title! Not sure if I’ve ever reviewed that one, in fact.