The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 07.11.22
Happy 7-11 Day! Enjoy a Slurpee or 3 day old hot dog or whatever.
Taped from Rochester, NY
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Caprice Coleman
Emi Sakura v. Paris Van Dale
Emi wraps up Paris and has a spot of tea, and even shares wit the ref. Well that’s nice. Paris fights back with forearms and an X-Factor, and a bulldog gets two. They fight for a suplex and Emi bites the hand to block that and takes her down with a neckbreaker. The bodyblock in the corner sets up the backbreaker to finish at 3:00. I’m disappointed we won’t get our traditional Emi six-man this week but I’ll allow it. 1 for 1.
Dante Martin v. JD Drake
Drake’s entrance video is still repping the Wingmen, but I thought he was in the Workhorsemen now? Or is he in multiple jobber stables at the same time? Busy guy. Drake overpowers him to start and tosses him away to block a headlock, so Dante tries a sleeper and then leaps off JD’s head this time. Dante lures him onto the floor and tries a springboard off the ropes out there, but Drake hits him in the face with a forearm for an effective counter. Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face, as a wise man once said. Back in, Drake takes over with a slam for one and beats on Dante with chops, and then hurls Dante with a Saito suplex as Dante takes a crazy bump off that. That gets two. Drake with a chinlock, but Dante rolls him up for two. Drake slams him and goes up with a pump splash, but there’s no water in the pool as the kids say. Drake misses a charge and Dante kicks him from the apron and goes up, but Drake cuts him off with a superplex attempt. Dante knees him while hanging upside down to escape and follows with a cross body for two. Dante flips over him a few times, but Drake hits a running boot for two. Lariat gets two. Drake tries the cannonball and misses, and Dante finishes him with the moonsault press at 7:10. Very hard fought match with a good David v. Goliath story. 2 for 2.
Julia Hart v. JC
Julia has gone full evil now with new evil gear and evil eye makeup. She’s evil, is what I’m getting at here. And yet she didn’t dye her hair black for the obvious switch. She psyches out JC to start and chokes her out on the ropes a bit, but JC fights back with forearms until Julia superkicks her. And she finishes with a Rings of Saturn type submission at 2:10. 2 for 3.
Ethan Page v. Colin Delaney
Sadly we don’t get Scorpio doing commentary and dancing along with the theme song, which is like 15% of the appeal. Man Colin got OLD since his WWECW stint. Especially with the short hair now. Delaney takes him down with armdrags, so Page pokes him in the eye and runs him over with a shoulderblock. Ethan slugs away and boots him RIGHT IN THE BREAD BASKET. Haven’t had a good bread basket reference since the glory days of Vince McMahon on commentary. Page slugs away on the mat, RIGHT IN THE MUSH if we’re channeling Vince-isms this week, although I don’t recommend channeling Vince in any form at the moment. Unless you’re as rich and white as he is. Colin retreats to the corner and dodges a blind charge, but Page elbows him to the apron. So Colin pokes him in the eyes and springboards in with a cutter for two. Page slugs him down in the corner again and hits him with an Iconoclasm, then finishes with the Ego’s Edge at 5:03. Point for Ethan selling the eye poke after the match. 3 for 4.
Anna Jay v. Shawna Reed
Oh joy the GUV’NOR joins us on commentary for more mush mouth analysis. Shawna gives us some resting bitch face and runs away from Anna, but Anna takes her down with a hairtoss and they exchange forearms in the corner. Anna with the clotheslines and a leg lariat in the corner, and then spins her into the Queenslayer for the submission at 1:50. Pretty messy. 3 for 5.
Best Friends v. QT Marshall & Aaron Solo
Solo goes for an armdrag and Chuck takes him down with a leg drag, so QT comes in instead. QT grabs a headlock on Trent, but Trent faceplants him and rakes the face with his boot. Chuck comes in with a dropkick to the back for two. Double elbow and they hit stereo suplexes on the Factory and chase them out of the ring. Solo breaks up the hug, thus denying the people of what they want, and Comoroto hauls Trent out and drops him on the apron. Back in, Solo with a kneedrop for two. Trent goes for the tag, but they take out Chucky and then do a Factory Hug, which is not what the people want. Trent fights out of a double suplex with a DDT on QT, however, and it’s hot tag Chuck. He hits QT with a knee in the corner to put him on the floor and follows with a dive. Back in for the Sole Food and Trent hits Solo with a knee strike for two, but QT saves. QT with the handspring kick on Trent and he calls for the Diamond Cutter, so Trent rolls him up for two. Crossbody follows, but QT catches him with the promised Diamond Cutter in mid air for two. That was a hell of a near fall. Solo with an enzuigiri into a QT piledriver for two. Solo goes up, but Chucky makes the save and gets rid of QT, and Strong Zero finishes things off at 9:34. And of course, we give the people what they want to end the show, although it inexplicably cuts away before the hug happens. The Factory remain perfect geek heels for the midcard teams to beat on this show. 4 for 6.
Fun show with a good ratio this week. I’ll probably check out Dark on Tuesday because everyone’s bugging me about it.