The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 07.04.22
Taped from Detroit, MI
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Mark Henry
Anna Jay v. Megan Myers
Megan shows some weird flexibility to start, but runs into an elbow and gets taken down with an armdrag. She fights back with a high kick and throws forearms in the corner, but Anna comes back with some elbows and a botched leg lariat in the corner. Queenslayer finishes at 2:23. They seem to be rebuilding Anna for something but she’s felt really stagnant for months now. 0 for 1.
Best Friends v. Isaiah Broner & GPA
The Friends hit Broner with a double suplex and Chuck adds some chops, but GPA gets a cheapshot from the apron and Broner hits a Sky High for two. GPA comes in and misses a charge on Trent, and Trent puts him down with a back suplex out of the corner. Over to Chuck and he hits GPA with clotheslines, but GPA rakes the eyes. So Trent comes in with the Sole Food/half and half, but Broner breaks up the hug. What a jerk. So Trent takes him out with a spear on the floor and Chuck powerbombs GPA for the pin at 4:00. And then we get the delayed hug afterwards. Whew. 1 for 2.
Jay Lethal & Satnam Singh v. James Alexander & Ren Jones
Lethal hits Ren with a dropkick off a flip to start, so Alexander comes in with a pump kick for two. But then Lethal tags in Singh and the jobbers freak out and try to run away. He hits Alexander with a huge slam and then chokeslams Jones repeatedly before laying out Alexander with a crossbody. Helicopter slam finishes at 2:30. Now this guy is looking better. They’re on the right track. 2 for 3.
Anthony Ogogo v. Pat Monix
Ogogo hits him with a gut punch and slams him into a legdrop for two, then goes to a chinlock. Monix tries to fight back, but Ogogo hits a fallaway slam for two and picks him up. And the knockout punch finishes at 2:44. Ogogo continues to bore me. 2 for 4.
Hikaru Shida & Yuka Sakazaki v. Heather Reckless & Laynie Luck
The heels attack and Shida hits Laynie with a pump kick to put her down. She slugs away in the corner, but Reckless pulls her down and Luck gets a bridging suplex for two. Yuka comes in with a rolling kick into a cradle for two, and she follows with a missile dropkick. Shida and Sakazaki hit stereo suplexes on the heels and Shida finishes Reckless with the falcon arrow at 3:00. Fine little squash. 3 for 5.
QT Marshall, Nick Comoroto & Aaron Solo v. Evil Uno, 10 & Alex Reynolds
Man we’re running out of Dark Order members for these shows. The Factory attacks before the hell, but Dark Order fights them off and 10 clotheslines Solo to the floor. The Dark Order guys try to dive onto them, but QT runs Uno into the stairs and they go to work back in the ring. Comoroto and Solo hit a suplex into a dropkick for two. QT comes in and gets two while informing a woman in the front row that “she’s about a 4 on the streets”. Man if I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Uno fights back with a neckbreaker on Solo and goes for the tag, but QT cuts him off and hits an enzuigiri. Rotation powerbomb gets two while Mark Henry complains about the price of gas. Yeah, it’s expensive up here too, weird how Biden manages to raise prices everywhere in the world! 10 finally gets the hot tag and hits Solo with a spinebuster and delayed vertical suplex, so delayed that they might as well call it Trump’s Healthcare Plan. Hey, Mark Henry made it political, blame him. QT hits 10 with a handspring enzuigiri and Comoroto spears him for two, but Reynolds saves and tosses Comoroto. The Dark Order clear the ring, leaving 10 with Solo, and he hits him with a wheelbarrow suplex and discus lariat for the pin at 7:55. 4 for 6.
Nothing to this one at a brisk 30 minutes. Perhaps there will be some bonus content tomorrow morning that you should tune into the Blog of Doom for, to make up for the short runtime!