The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 06.18.94
Taped from Erie, PA on 05.25.94
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler
Tatanka v. Dave Criner
Tatanka whips the guy around the ring to start and beats on him with chops, then follows with the Ricky Morton armdrag while Owen Hart comes out to watch. So we get a split screen of Jerry Lawler interviewing Owen while Tatanka continues his squash. Owen denies needing help from his family members to win, unlike his brother Bret, while Tatanka makes the comeback on Criner and finishes with a flying chop at 3:22. 0 for 1. I mean, at least they tried to do something to build heat for the tournament match, I guess.
Meanwhile, the WWF does their first ever Hall of Fame ceremony. It wouldn’t be a Hall of Fame without manager extraordinaire James Dudley! Maybe he had some dirt on Vince, too. Actually he probably did.
Koko B. Ware v. Owen Hart
Speaking of Hall of Famers! Sad that Koko is in and Owen never will be. Time for Owen to get the ghost of High Energy off his back and take the final steps to main event wrestler. Owen hits him with a leg lariat and clarifies that he never liked or trusted Koko. That’s fair, Koko allegedly had some drug issues. Tatanka comes out to watch the match and Owen gets all distracted, allowing Koko to take over, but this time Lawler declines to interview the guy watching the match. Koko tries a leapfrog and his knee gives out on the landing, allowing Owen to work it over. Back in, Owen stays on the knee while Vince tells the ref to go ahead and stop the match. Geez, it’s not THAT bad. Owen finishes with the Sharpshooter at 3:22. Nothing much to this one when they could have been headlining high school gyms across the COUNTRY with it. 0 for 2.
Meanwhile, on Monday night, the Headshrinkers beat the Quebecers to retain the tag team titles.
Last week: The “Undertaker” returns. Can you imagine the Undertaker turning out to be some kind of redneck? That would never get over.
The Headshrinkers v. Hairston & Marconi
I don’t have the full names for the jobbers and can’t be bothered to look it up. They quickly squash them and finish the guy in the blue tights with the flying splash at 1:30. 0 for 3.
The Heartbreak Hotel with special guest Diesel. Diesel thinks that Bret should just bring the whole family so they can witness Bret’s last match. Huge if true.
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Emilio Ulicia
Lawler wishes to reassure us all that no percentage of his winnings will go to anyone in Canada. So just like our last matches, Razor comes out to watch Bigelow, who quickly finishes Ulicia with the Lunasault at 1:43. 0 for 4.
KING OF THE RING UPDATE! WITH TODD PETTENGILL!
Todd’s pop culture ref of the week is “What’s Happening”. Meanwhile Bret wants us to know that he can wrestle. Good to know. Also Piper does a rambling promo from his back yard and says that people can call spots for him during the match and he’ll do them. FOR THE KIDS.
Razor Ramon v. Tracy Caddell
Razor gets the fallaway slam while Bigelow comes out to watch this time, but Razor ignores him and finishes with the Razor’s Edge at 1:30. 0 for 5.
Meanwhile, the WWF team beat the servicemen in a tug of war to celebrate the anniversary of D-Day.
Mabel v. Nikolai Volkoff
Volkoff gets some knees after a sneak attack, but Mabel takes him down with a drop toehold and works a leglock. This brings IRS out for the DQ at 1:05. And then all the tournament people run out and brawl to set up the Premium Live Event as we’re DESPERATELY OUT OF TIME. And also out of ideas judging by this show. 0 for 6.
THIS SUNDAY ON THE BLOG: It’s King of the Ring 94. Because I pretty much had to.