The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 06.10.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 06.10.22

Taped from wherever Dynamite was. Kansas City I think.

Your hosts are Excalibur and Taz. I think Ricky Starks and Chris Jericho are busy doing a tournament this week.

I don’t know what’s up with Fite’s feed tonight but the audio sounds like it’s recorded at 32kbps and played back through a tin can or something. It’s really irritating.

Western States Heritage Heritage tournament semi-finals: Jake Hager v. Eddie Kingston

This is of course part of the prestigious tournament for the prestigious Western States Heritage Heritage title, which celebrates the heritage of the Western States Heritage title itself and honors everyone who wore it, from Barry Windham to Larry Zbyszko. Right to the match with no entrances for this one, as Hager beats him down and they fight to the floor. Back in, Hager gets a double underhook submission hold and Eddie fights out of that, so they head to the floor and slug it out, which Hager wins. Back in the ring, Hager beats on Eddie’s kidneys with forearms in the corner and takes him down with a belly to belly suplex for two. Hager beats on him some more, but Eddie pulls down the straps and fights back with chops, but he charges and walks into an overhead suplex to put Hager in control again. They head back to the floor and Hager runs him into the railing. Back in, Eddie goes to the nuts (“That’s a five on two attack!” notes Taz) and makes a comeback as they’re both down. Eddie fires away with the chops in the corner, but walks into a mule kick and Hager follows with the Swaggerbomb for two. Eddie comes back with a pair of Saito suplexes for two, but Hager suplexes him into the anklelock. Eddie fights to the ropes, so Hager beats on him in the corner and Eddie powerbombs him out and hits the backfist for the pin at 11:15. I dunno, I don’t think they meshed particularly well here and this felt a bit long for me. Not a bad brawl, but hardly up to the level expected of the Western States Heritage title. **1/2

Meanwhile, Dr. Britt Baker DMD thinks that Toni Storm has no call to be lusting after the Women’s title, when clearly she’s winning it back. May I just say, DAMN, Rebel.

Jim Crockett Senior Memorial Cup tag team tournament finals: Jay Lethal & Satnam Singh v. Davey Vega & Matt Fitchet

Lethal lets Singh start the match and he does the Big Show chop in the corner, and then does a crossbody on both geeks. Jay comes in with a double Lethal Injection and pins one of them at 1:38. Eh…..they’re better off keeping Singh out of the ring for the moment. As a result of their victory, Singh and Lethal will be facing the winners of the Jim Crockett JUNIOR Memorial Cup Tag team tournament, in order to crown the first ever Jim Crockett Promotions Memorial tag team champions at the first ROH TV show, once they find a network to air it.

Meanwhile, Danhausen and Hook celebrate their PPV victory with new cars, with Hook’s car being a bit more cool than Danhausen’s. I bet they’re front runners for that Jim Crockett Junior Memorial Cup tag team tournament! Also if this was the “We’ll hear from Hookhausen” segment they hyped up at the start of the show, that’s pretty weak.

Discovery Plus championship quarterfinals: Red Velvet v. Kris Statlander

Good to see Tony getting ahead of the game by naming a new title after the new owners’ streaming service. The brackets for this one are a little nebulous but I think the winner is crowned by who can throw the most shade on Twitter. Sean Ross Sapp will be judging. Velvet tries to jump her on the floor and Kris just nails her with a powerslam out there, and then presses her into the ring and hits her with a running knee in the corner. Velvet bails for some encouragement from the Baddies, but Kris hauls her back into the ring, but she misses a bodypress and splats on the mat. Velvet charges, but Kris catches her and gets a delayed suplex, which Red escapes and goes for the knee. That gets two. Velvet chokes her out in the corner and goes to a full nelson on the mat, and then gets a backstabber for two. You know, Carlito might have been a huge disappointment in his WWE run, but he’ll aways have his move in the wrestling lexicon for posterity at least. Velvet with an abdominal stretch on the mat, but Statlander escapes and they slug it out. Kris with a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Velvet goes for a victory roll and they trade rollups for two. Statlander makes the comeback, but Velvet cuts her off with a cutter off the middle rope for two. Kris fights back and catches a kick, then flips her into the Big Bang Theory or whatever it’s called now for the in at 9:05, advancing to the “Make mean comments on Instagram” round in the quest for the Discovery Plus title. Also how do these two continue to have freaky good chemistry together despite being not so great apart? They’re like peanut butter and chocolate, although I’ll go with Statlander as the chocolate to avoid any uncomfortable stereotyping. ***1/4

Meanwhile, continues his path to killing his God, which apparently goes through the All-Atlantic championship tournament.

North Antarctica Commonwealth Mid-Heavyweight Six-Man championship tournament, round 17: Will Ospreay & Aussie Open v. FTR & Trent Beretta

Excalibur notes that Aussie Open are perhaps the greatest tag team export from Australia. What about Australian Tag Team rules itself? I’d say that one still holds the title. Ospreay starts with Uncle Dax and they fight for the lockup while Excalibur talks about some made-up belt called the “IWGP Heavyweight title” that Ospreay apparently held last year. Sounds like a bad running gag to me. They didn’t even have a tournament for it! How can people possibly care about that? Over to Cash and Ospreay takes him down with a rana and does some exercises before tagging out to Kyle Fletcher. He takes Cash to the corner and Mark Davis comes in to beat on him with forearms before Cash escapes and brings Trent in. Sunset flip gets two, but Davis chops him down, so the babyfaces chase them out of the ring and Trent hits them with a dive. Back in, Trent goes up and Ospreay SWEEPS THE LEG to bring him down, for two. Ospreay chokes him out in the corner and Davis comes in for more of the same. Fletcher wraps him up with a chinlock and Ospreay comes in with his own chinlock. Trent fights out with a backdrop on Ospreay, but Fletcher cuts him off and then misses a blind charge in the corner. Hot tag Uncle Dax and he suplexes Davis onto Fletcher, and then hits Will with a short clothesline. Rolling germans on Fletcher and Cash comes in with a powerbomb and another german suplex from Dax for two. Rollup gets two on Fletcher, but Cash walks into a superkick in the corner and Aussie Open double-teams him with a cutter into a 450 from Ospreay for two. Ospreay with the Ozcutter for two. Trent gets another tag and slugs away on Fletcher with forearms and a lariat, but Ospreay cuts him off and then dives onto FTR outside. Back in the ring, Fletcher rolls up Trent for two, but Trent hits him with Strong Zero to finish at 14:03. Round 18 in Dusseldorf awaits! This was a really hot main event, although Meltzer always hypes Aussie Open as doing all this state of the art crazy stuff and this was just kind of a normally great match if that makes sense. ***3/4 You kind of expect more from the guys earmarked for the North Antarctica Commonwealth Mid-Heavyweight Six Man titles, but luckily it’s a quadruple elimination tournament so they’ve got another 2 chances left to advance to the finals on the new Discovery Plus streaming show: AEW Serial Killers & Cooking Shows. I heard that it’s produced by the brothers who flip houses.

A really fun show this week, and I don’t know why people think that there’s too many tournaments and titles in this promotion.