The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 06.06.22
OMG THE 24 HOUR “COPS” CHANNEL IS FINALLY IN CANADA. How can I ever accomplish anything again?
Taped from Los Angeles, CA
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mark Henry & Paul Wight
QT Marshall, Aaron Solo, Nick Comoroto & Anthony Ogogo v. John Silver, Alex Reynolds, Alan Angels & 10
Comoroto wants the Meat Man to start and they have a power battle, but Silver wins that with a missile dropkick. Solo comes in and gets double-teamed by the Dark Order guys while Tony practices funny ways to say “DOWN GOES QT!” after he’s knocked off the apron. The Joe Frazier version proves to be the winner. Ogogo beats on Reynolds with forearms to take over, and QT hits him with an enzuigiri and powerbomb to cut off a comeback. That gets two. QT gets a chair behind the ref’s back, but Uno saves that and gets ejected as a result. WHAT A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE. Tony still thinks we don’t need instant replay because it’s ruined baseball. “Matches would all be an hour long,” Henry notes. 10 gets the hot tag and cleans house on the Factory, then goes up with a shoulderblock on Comoroto and hits Solo with the spinebuster. Angels comes in with a discus forearm for two and QT saves, so Silver kicks him out of the ring and DOWN GOES QT. 10 tosses Reynolds onto the heels, but Ogogo sends 10 into the railing. That leaves Angels in the ring with Ogogo, and the knockout punch finishes him at 6:24. Ogogo just doesn’t fit with these other goobers. This was a fun opener, though. 1 for 1.
Meanwhile, AEW guys talk about how special the LA Forum is for music history. Hearing Butcher talk in his normal voice is WEIRD.
Frankie Kazarian v. Serpentico
Luther is absent this week, so Serpentico throws himself into the ring. Kaz goes for the cheap heat by bringing Christopher Daniels with him for an SCU reunion. Henry: “I hope that when I’m his age, I can still go like that!” Wight: “What, we going back in time now?” Meanwhile Tony thinks about how Jimmy Hart never ages, despite only ever eating peppermints and Coca Cola. It’s true, the man is clearly immortal. Kaz backdrops Serpentico to start and follows with a neckbreaker out of the corner, then blocks a rollup and hits him with a springboard legdrop. Serpentico bails to the apron and necks Kazarian on the top to take over, then drops an elbow and tells off Daniels for some reason. I feel like that’s going to backfire on him. He doesn’t even have Luther to back him up! Rana and short DDT get two on Kaz, but he again goes over to talk smack about Daniels. Kaz fires back with a chop and Serpentico just falls over in pain, but then goes to pick a fight with Daniels outside, and turns around into a clothesline from Kazarian. “I think the people standing around outside the building saw that one coming,” notes Wight. Back in the ring, Kazarian comes back with a slingshot cutter to finish at 5:02. Kazarian is a fine professional wrestler. 2 for 2. Sadly, he’s never getting another shot at the TNT title to prove it, though.
Nyla Rose & Serena Deeb v. Skye Blue & Miyu Yamashita
Nyla throws the babyfaces around a bit to start, but they regroup and double-team Deeb, with Yamashita throwing kicks to put her down. Deeb comes back with the dragon screw in the corner and works on the leg, which sets up an awesome spot where Deeb suplexes Skye while doing a deathlock on Yamashita. Over to Nyla, who further beats on the knee and drops a leg for two. Wight notes that Nyla always looks like she’s having fun in the ring while beating people up. Also, her Twitter feed is DELIGHTFUL. Nyla grabs a headlock on Yamashita, but she fights out with a knee strike and then beats on Nyla with kicks to set up the hot tag to Blue. Nyla quickly cuts her off with a corner splash, but misses the cannonball and Skye goes up with a sunset flip for a hot two. Nyla puts her down with a spinebuster and Deeb takes out Yamashita on the floor, leaving Nyla to hit the guillotine on Skye. And the Deeb-Tox and Serenity Lock finish at 7:35. This is a good position for Deeb coming off the PPV loss. Yamashita looked GREAT as well. 3 for 3.
Death Triangle v. Peter Avalon, Ryan Nemeth & Cezar Bononi
Tony is DISGUSTED by all the shucking of the Wingmen, although Wight thinks we all should all be appreciative of Avalon’s beautiful hair. And nice mustache. And then Death Triangle get a monster reaction for their entrance. Do they have Mexican fans in California or something? Don’t @ me, I’m joking. Penta immediately pulls off the glove to intimidate Cezar and it’s a PIER SIX BRAWL, which results in the Wingmen getting cleared out of the ring with kicks. And then the Triangle hits triple dives onto them as the crowd goes nuts. Back in for a triple team splash on Cezar that gets two. Cezar comes back with some knees on Penta while Avalon gyrates outside, and then he tags in and drops a knee on Penta. Wish Ziggler comes in and walks into a sling blade, and Fenix comes in for some superkicks on Nemeth. Cezar tries a press slam on Fenix, but Pac makes the blind tag and puts him down with a missile dropkick. Avalon takes the Fear Factor and he’s done at 5:00. Well that was a legalized murder. 4 for 4.
Tremendous show this week, especially with Tony back providing commentary for the other two to bounce off again.