The SmarK Rant for World Championship Wrestling – 06.24.89
Taped from Atlanta, GA, back at Center Stage after last week’s arena taping.
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Michael Hayes, who apparently now wears his tag team title belt to bed.
And of course, brought to you by A&W Root Beer!
The Midnight Express & Steve Williams v. Keith Steinborn, Fred Avery & ???
Now, for those keeping track of Cornette getting himself into trouble, he actually does use the fried chicken joke here, back in 1989, although I don’t believe there was any fallout from it at the time. Although again, I see where the intent of the joke is that “Ethiopian kids are really hungry and would attack someone for food”, but first of all it’s punching down on a group of people who are already in a horrible situation, and it’s also vaguely racist as well. Anyway, we’ve discussed the stupid joke enough for one lifetime, I think. Michael Hayes leaves his position to go yell at Cornette and they do promos on each other while the match goes on in the background. This brings Williams over to tell Hayes to shut his mouth, but good luck with THAT. Back in the ring, Doc hits Avery with a legdrop for two, and Hayes continues the war of words with Cornette while Gordy and Garvin join Hayes at the desk for their own promo. Afterwards, Cornette wants a match with the Freebirds RIGHT NOW, but Hayes protests that they’re not dressed to wrestle, they’re dressed to please the women in the audience. Cornette notes that the women ACTUALLY want to take them clothes shopping and replace their “Salvation Army reject” wardrobe. That’s a pretty good line. So with Hayes and Garvin not biting, Cornette uses some STRATEGY and instead focuses on Gordy, calling him YELLOW, and of course Bamm Bamm will not stand for that and he finally charges in for the brawl. But that leaves it 3-on-2 because Hayes is too much of a coward to leave the broadcast position with Doc staring him down. And the Express double-teams Garvin and Lane rolls him up and pins him for an unofficial win to a huge pop. And then the FREEBIRDS are now the ones wanting the match as we take a break. Tremendous opening segment. 1 for 1.
Back from the break, the Freebirds are still wanting to call out the Midnights, and Jim Ross says they should have a match tonight so go get ready to wrestle! Hayes: “We got plans tonight!” But JR keeps shaming Gordy until they agree to defend the belts in the main event.
Sting v. Chance Myers
Sting quickly wallops him for the Stinger Splash and Deathlock at 0:20.
Jim Ross brings him over for an interview afterwards and Sting remains all cranked up. Jim wants his thoughts on Lex Luger, and Sting is just disappointed in his actions. This brings out Luger for a word with his best friend. Lex clarifies that they’re WINNERS, not watchers like all the fat couch potatoes sitting at home. Also Lex taught Sting how to dress nice, read a wine list, and introduced him to the best gyms in the country. Sting sarcastically thanks him for his teachings and walks off. So Lex tells it like it is: He hates all the snot nosed kids and pretty little girls bugging him out in public, so there’s NO MORE AUTOGRAPHS. Also kids writing him poetry are STUPID and their poems suck. And finally if Steamboat is smart, he’ll give up his #1 ranking because Lex should have had it in the first place. Also Ricky’s children and family are terrified for his life because Lex is coming for him. Man 1989 Lex Luger was MONEY. 2 for 2.
NWA World tag team title: The Freebirds v. The Midnight Express
Jim continues a lie started by Cornette earlier in the show, claiming that the Express are two time tag team champions, which is of course not accurate, as Eaton and Lane only held it once. Eaton and Hayes slug it out and the Express double-teams Michael in the corner. Lane uses Florida Man Karate for two and Eaton comes in with a headlock, but Hayes throws him out to break and Eaton takes a bump so crazy that he knocks over the railing. But then Bobby pops back in with a missile dropkick and Hayes lets Garvin have a go. Jimmy takes Lane down with a headlock and we take a break and return with Stan getting double-teamed in the Freebird corner. But then Lane throws Hayes out of the ring to make a comeback and they slug it out. Lane with a powerslam and Eaton comes in and continues beating on Hayes, but Lane comes in again and Garvin yanks his hair from the apron to take over. Hayes comes in with a chinlock and chokes him out, but Lane makes the hot tag to Eaton. Neckbreaker for Hayes and the Express runs them together, but Garvin takes the ref and Gordy DESTROYS Eaton by slugging him off the top and into the railing for the countout at 10:05. That was a hell of a bump. 3 for 3.
The Steiner Brothers join us, along with Rick’s new girlfriend Robin Green, although Rick denies having a girlfriend yet. But he still gives her flowers, which are apparently stolen from their neighbor according to Scott.
BREAKING NEWS: Ric Flair may or may not be the A&W Cream Soda King of the Slams, but you have to call a hotline to vote and make it official. Huge if true.
The Steiner Brothers v. Snake Brown (From Outta Town) and Cruel Connection
I’m not sure which Cruel Connection this one is. Just in case you’re wondering. Meanwhile, poor Robin Green gets her flowers torn up by Kevin Sullivan, and Rick is so mad that he tags in and takes out his anger on the jobbers and pins the Connection at 1:30 with a suplex. 3 for 4.
Terry Funk joins Jim Ross ahead of next week’s announcement from Ric Flair. He ORDERS Flair to look into his eyes from wherever he’s watching and not look away. Ric was once the god of the NWA, but now the devil is here raising hell, and he’s also like a dog who’s going to hunt Flair down and take the title. DEVIL DOG.
Eddie Gilbert welcomes Tommy Rich back to the NWA, and he’ll be back taking care of business starting next week. Eddie tries to slip out but Jim confronts him about his fire-throwing at the Clash. Maybe he’s a WIZARD. I’ve heard they throw fire. This brings out Gary Hart with time running out on the show, and points out that maybe that bimbo Missy Hyatt should have minded her business, which prompts Eddie to attack him. So Muta pops out of nowhere and blows RED MIST in Eddie’s eyes, which we all know is the deadliest and most painful of all mists. Sucks to be Eddie Gilbert lately. His US tag team title reign ended when Rick found a better partner and abandoned the belts, then his fireball skills are criticized on national TV, and now he’s probably blind or whatever.
Next week: RIC FLAIR RETURNS.
Sadly there’s only two weeks left of this show on the Network, though.