The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents The Best of the WWF Volume 14
Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon
The Rougeau Brothers & Brutus Beefcake v. Greg Valentine, Dino Bravo & Johnny V
This is a dark match from Superstars, June 87, with the interesting team of Craig DeGeorge, Jesse Ventura & Bruno Sammartino on commentary. Raymond quickly gets caught in the heel corner, but Bravo hits Valentine by mistake because he’s the WORST. But they make up with a hug afterwards, showing the Hammer’s forgiving nature. Jacques comes in and chops Valentine down and follows with a buttdrop for two, but Hammer runs away when Beefcake gets in. Bravo gets some shots on Brutus, but it’s back to Hammer and Brutus gets the sleeper. Bravo and Johnny V break that up, and Raymond comes in with dropkicks on Bravo and a back elbow for two. Jacques with a kneelift for two and they hit Bravo with a double dropkick and Jacques gets a splash for two. Raymond with the Boston crab, but Hammer breaks that up and draws Raymond over for some abuse in the heel corner. Valentine with the shoulderbreaker for two. Hammer tries a piledriver, but Raymond powers up and walks him over to the corner, so Valentine reverses into a sunset flip for two and then throws Raymond out to cut off the ring again. Bravo, traitor to his own people, beats on Raymond outside and works on the back. Back in the ring, Bravo gets an atomic drop and drops an elbow on Ray, which gets up the figure-four from Hammer. Raymond reverses to a cradle for two, but Johnny V finally comes into the match and puts him down with a knee to the gut. But Bruno puts him over on commentary, noting that he’s a totally competent wrestler who was a former tag champion and gave him a fight years ago. Bravo hits the sideslam, but Jacques saves and it’s HOT TAG Beefcake. So he destroys Valiant for the PIER SIX BRAWL and everyone meets in the middle, leaving Johnny by himself for the sleeper at 11:34. This gets a HUGE pop from the crowd as it was obvious they had something with this version of Beefcake. And poor Johnny gets another haircut and paintjob. Really hot match to open the tape. 1 for 1.
Ricky Steamboat v. Ron Bass
I don’t think I’ve ever seen this combination. This is a dark match from October of 87 at a Wrestling Challenge in Rochester, and check out THIS announcing team: Bruce Prichard, Mike McGuirk & Nick Bockwinkel. Steamboat evades Bass with speed to start, but Bass hits him with a clothesline for two and then follows with a back elbow for two. Bass and his cowboy deal allow me to talk for a moment about how we started watching Yellowstone on Amazon Prime last night and HOT DAMN I am all in for this show. Powerslam gets two, but Steamboat rolls him up for two. Bass cuts him off again and tries for a neckbreaker, but Steamboat backslides him for two. Bass tries a piledriver, but Steamboat reverses to a sunset flip for two. They headbutt each other and both are down, but Steamboat fights back with a sleeper and Bass tosses him to escape. But Steamboat skins the cat and pulls Bass to the floor with the headscissors and they fight out there until Steamboat beats the count at 7:00 after running Bass into the post. 2 for 2.
Koko B. Ware v. Dangerous Danny Davis
From MSG, May of 87, one of six million matches they had in 1987. Davis tries to run to the apron and Koko slingshots him back in, so Davis hides in the ropes and then slugs away on Koko in the corner before running away again. Gorilla notes that with his newfound wealth, Davis is living in a “quarter of a million dollar home”, which shows where housing prices have gone in the years since. I live in a quarter of a million dollar home! And it’s not exactly a mansion, I guarantee. Davis tries a sunset flip and Koko sits on him to block, so Davis runs away again for some motivational speech from Jimmy Hart. Back in, Jimmy calls for a test of strength, so Danny reluctantly agrees to try and then chickens out and backs off again. So Danny regroups and gives it another go, and he actually gains the advantage and is pretty excited about it! But then Koko quits messing with him and stands up for a dropkick to send Davis flying to the floor again. Back in, Koko misses the blind charge by a mile (Bobby: “He wasn’t there, Koko. You dummy.”) and Danny takes over. Davis puts the boots to him and a back elbow gets two, although Davis criticizes the count of the ref because he knows better. (Bobby: “The count doesn’t matter, Koko can’t tell time anyway.”) Davis with the sleeper and Koko fights out of it and gets his own, so Davis runs him into the turnbuckle to break. Davis misses a splash and Koko comes back with 10 headbutts for the crowd to count along with. Powerslam gets two, but of course Davis knows to get his foot in the ropes. And while Koko argues with the ref, Davis gets the knuckles from Jimmy Hart and knocks him out for the pin at 13:20. A totally entertaining and acceptable wrestling match. 3 for 3.
The Junkyard Dog v. Ted Dibiase
Holy cow, it’s the debut of the Million Dollar Man on these! We are, I believe, in Green Bay for a Challenge dark match in October of 87. And Gorilla gets the wacky line of the tape by noting that JYD returned from “a successful tour of the Orient” after he was away for a bunch of months. Yeah, he was touring the opium dens over there. We once again have the commentary dream team of Brother Bruce, Mike McGuirk and Nick Bockwinkel. Dog chases him to the floor to start while Bruce notes that Dibiase has so far been unable to buy off any of his opponents in the ring. Give him time. Dibiase stalls and hides in the ropes as Dog just looks awful here, barely moving while Dibiase has to do the work for 18 people. Finally Dog tries to work the arm and Dibiase moves away from him again, so Dog gets a clothesline, again barely even able to lift his arm as Dibiase has to take the bump and then run away. Back in, Dog sort of puts his head down while missing a headbutt, and Dibiase puts him down, with Dog taking kind of a half-assed bump, and Dibiase chokes him out on the mat for two. Dibiase with the fistdrop and more choking on the ropes, but Dibiase goes up and somehow misses, although Dog doesn’t even move. So Dog comes back with headbutts and steals Virgil’s Olive Garden money before throwing it to the crowd. Dibiase brings him in with a slam and Dog tries to fall on top, but he can’t even do that properly and Dibiase rolls through and pins him with the tights at 10:00. This was REALLY bad from JYD. 3 for 4.
Coliseum Classic: Spiros Arion & The Yukon Lumberjacks v. Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo & Tony Garea
Wow, TWO Dino Bravo matches? Must be my birthday! Back to MSG in August 78, as the Lumberjacks were the tag team champions at this point. Arion slugs it out with Garea to start and that goes badly for him, so it’s over to Pierre, and the Lumberjacks double-team Garea until Andre can take no more and makes the save. But it’s a DQ for the first fall to put the babyfaces up 1-0. Second fall and Eric (who later became Scott “Hog” Irwin before tragically dying of a brain tumor) comes in against Bravo before letting Arion try it instead. Bravo evades Arion with his speed, but Pierre comes in with a powerslam for two. But then Andre tags in for the first time and wrecks everything, hitting Pierre with the big boot and splash to end the match at 6:10, two falls to none. Pierre kind of disappeared from the sport a year after this. 3 for 5.
Paul Orndorff v. Hercules
This is some kind of dark match from Superstars in October 87, not sure where exactly. Milwaukee I think? This time our commentary team is Bruce, Mike and Lanny Poffo in place of Bockwinkel. Well that’s a thing. Hercules tosses Paul a couple of times, but he skins the cat and makes a comeback, slugging away in the corner and putting the boots to him. This was the rather sad second babyface run of Orndorff where he was managed by Oliver Humperdink and got jobbed right out of the promotion. Herc gets a pair of clotheslines for two and then goes to a bearhug for a while. Orndorff escapes with a cradle for two, but Herc puts him down with a clothesline and Orndorff gets his own and makes the comeback. Wonderful goes up with an elbow from the top, but then goes after Heenan before hitting the piledriver, which prompts Rick Rude to run in for the DQ at 6:34. Nothing much to this one, but not bad or anything. 3 for 6.
Bobby Heenan v. Salvatore Bellomo
This was from a MSG show in November 84 that I reviewed a few months back. Bobby gives him a shot to the throat and runs away to the corner. Gorilla notes that he wouldn’t be bothered by that and would just attack his opponent if they were dumb enough to turn their back on him. Good lesson for all you kids out there reading this. Bellomo gets his own cheapshot on Bobby and runs him into the turnbuckle, and then whips him into the other corner as Bobby takes a ragdoll bump and runs away to the floor. Back in, Bobby tries a wristlock while Gorilla suggests that they should instead call him Bobby “The Smart Cookie” Heenan and then concedes that it’s not great as a nickname. Sal takes Bobby to the corner and hammers on him again and Bobby runs away again, and then heads back in and rakes the eyes a few times before going to a chinlock. Sal fights out, but walks into a backdrop, allowing Bobby to go to work on the back with kneedrops. They collide on a shoulderblock and Bobby goes flying into the corner and takes another wacky bump off it. No wonder the poor guy had all those neck issues later in life. Bobby tosses him and Sal tries a sunset flip, but Bobby punches him in the head and pins him at 9:03. Sal complains that Bobby was holding the ropes, but in fact the replay reveals that it was a completely clean pin, shockingly. Even Gorilla gives him credit! Match was nothing outside of Bobby bumping around for him. 3 for 7.
Tito Santana v. Killer Khan
Another wacky combination, from Houston in June 87. Khan was of course a vicious and heartless heel, famous for ending careers. No, wait, sorry, that’s Nick Khan. I always get them confused. Khan chokes Tito out on the ropes to start and uses the dreaded Mongolian chops on Tito while the announcers hype the next card, which apparently features Ted Dibiase & Sam Houston v. One Man Gang & Ron Bass. DOES NOT COMPUTE. Tito manages to chase Khan out of the ring and goes to work on the arm back in the ring, until Khan puts the boots to him to break free. Khan goes up with more Mongolian chops, but Tito slugs back and chokes him out on the ropes. Tito makes the comeback and Khan drops him on the top rope, and that’s apparently a DQ at 9:30. WEAK SAUCE. This sucked. 3 for 8.
Coming soon to Coliseum Video: Best of the WWF Volume 15! Brutus Beefcake! Best of Saturday Night’s Main Event! Oddly the highlights from the first two tapes listed are both Brutus Beefcake v. Honky Tonk Man.
This one was kind of a…what do the kids say…”mid” volume? Yeah it was pretty mid. Next one is what the kids call a “banger”, though, so stay tuned next week as I continue to be hip to the lingo of youths today!