The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 05.09.22
Taped from Baltimore, MD
Your hosts are Paul Wight & Mark Henry
I know I didn’t mention this in the Dynamite and Rampage reviews, but THANK YOU to TK for actually lighting up the crowd again. It makes the show look totally different than WWE and I appreciate it.
The Dark Order (Evil Uno, Alex Reynolds, Alan Angels & 10) v. Ryan Mooney, Diego, Brandon Scott & Fuller
Missed the first name on the last guy on the jobber team. Uno and Angels take turns beating on Fuller with chops, but Reynolds comes in and the jobbers team up on him for a hot minute before Uno gets the tag and destroys them all with boots. Ref assisted neckbreaker follows and 10 comes in with a delayed suplex for a 10 count while Show and Henry joke about how “they don’t do a situp unless they can’t get up” and Uno finishes the one who I think was Diego at 4:45. This was a pretty dead match and Wight is kind of terrible at actually calling the mechanics of who is in the ring and what they’re doing. 0 for 1.
Emi Sakura v. Abadon
Wight finally notices that Emi comes out with a crown like a QUEEN, and her favorite band is Queen, thus blowing his mind. Abadon goes for the biting right away, but Emi takes her down by the hair and hits the corner splash, although Abadon mostly shrugs it off and bites the ropes. Sakura tries a powerbomb and Abadon backdrops her to the floor and follows with a rolling senton off the apron. Back in the ring, Sakura cuts her off and puts the boots to her, and then stops to sip some tea before hitting the double underhook powerbomb into the backbreaker for two. Another one is countered by a bite to the neck and Abadon hits a cutter and senton. Sakura fights back with chops and Abadon just gets worked up and clotheslines her down, then finishes with the Black Dahlia at 4:25. This was kind of a trainwreck style clash but Sakura just leans into it and makes it work. 1 for 2.
Sonny Kiss v. Pretty Peter Avalon
I’m kind of loving the Rick Rude ripoff music from Avalon now. And of course the luxurious hair, not seen in wrestling since the glory days of Kevin Nash. Sonny gets a shockingly big reaction from the crowd. Hopefully he can work his way back to the main roster again. Avalon tries to overpower him, but Sonny takes him down with a headscissors. Peter goes up and Sonny brings him down with a press slam in an impressive spot, and drops knees on him for two. Wish Ziggler gets involved and allows Avalon to jump Sonny on the floor to take over. Back in, Sonny fights back with kicks, but he does the splits and Avalon boots him in the head for two. Avalon goes up and misses a moonsault, allowing Sonny to make a comeback with a springboard crossbody for two. Splits legdrop looks to finish, but Nemeth takes the ref again, so Kiss runs them together and rolls up Avalon for the pin at 4:13. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling here. 2 for 3.
Tony Deppen v. John Silver
I don’t know who Deppen is but apparently he’s a name. Silver puts him down with a shoulderblock and then follows with a back elbow, and tosses Deppen across the ring with a hiptoss. Deppen comes back with a low kick and kneedrop on the neck for two. They slug it out and Silver wins that, but Deppen hits him with a knee, so Silver lawn darts him into the corner and finishes with the Spin Doctor at 2:28. Good to see the Meat Man getting a win in advance of his match with Punk. 3 for 4.
What the hell is the interview segment with the “Hey (Ew)” guy and Arn Anderson supposed to be? Are these commercials actually supposed to make me want to watch the show on YouTube?
Swerve Strickland & Keith Lee v. Nick Comoroto & QT Marshall
Lee works on QT’s arm in the corner to start, so QT challenges him to a chop battle and that goes badly for him. Keith hurls him back into his own corner and that bring Comoroto in, and the Factory double-teams Keith with a double flapjack. They work on the ribs in the corner, but Keith just walks Comoroto back to Swerve’s house until QT takes out Swerve to cut off the tag. But then QT tries to suplex Lee and that goes badly for him, and it’s hot tag Swerve. Forearms for Comoroto and he hits QT with a springboard forearm to the back for two. Keith comes in for a double-team attempt, but Solo gets involved and takes out Swerve, allowing the Factory to double-team Lee for two. Swerve recovers and takes out QT, and then Solo in a cool flip off the apron, and Lee finishes Comoroto with the Ground Zero at 6:45. 4 for 5.
Wrestling is fun! This was a fun show. I like the various “undercard v. undercard” style shows rather than a parade of squashes.