The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents The Best of the WWF Volume 6
Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon
Terry Funk v. Leaping Lanny Poffo
From MSG, as Terry makes his return to the Garden in July of 85. Funk beats on Poffo to start, but Lanny threatens retaliation and does a backflip, which has Terry falling down in shock. So Terry pounds on him with some nasty chops and whips Lanny into the corner, but Poffo reverses and Funk takes an upside down bump and bails to the floor. Back in the ring, Funk wants a test of strength, but Poffo rolls backwards to reverse it and then backflips out of a wristlock and applies his own armbar. Finally Funk takes him to the floor with a monkey flip and puts the boots to him while laying the badmouth on him. Apparently he’s a pig is what I’m getting from Funk here. Back in, Funk tries an atomic drop, but Poffo reverses to his own and Funk takes another wacky bump to the floor. Back in, Funk uses his famous worked punch in the corner to take over, hopefully not hitting him as hard as he did to poor Cactus Jack, and he pulls Poffo out of the corner and teases a figure-four. Poffo escapes from that, so Funk beats on him with elbows, and Poffo mounts a comeback of his own. But then Funk grabs his hair and delivers two headbutts, which then knocks himself silly as he takes another bump to the apron. He actually gets a suplex on Poffo from the inside to the outside, as Poffo thankfully lands on his feet while taking the bump so as not to die. Back in the ring, Funk with a spinning, delayed suplex, which gets two. That was a cool move. Funk with a neckbreaker for two. Poffo comes back with a sunset flip for two and makes another comeback, slugging away in the corner, and Funk gets hung in the corner, which allows Poffo the chance to kick him to the floor. Back in, Poffo with a moonsault for two. Yes, in 1985. Funk slugs on him, but Poffo takes him down with a rana for two. So Funk puts the boots to him and catches him with a sleeper this time, but Lanny fights out of that, until Funk takes him down again and this time Poffo is out at 13:15. This was a HELL of a match. 1 for 1.
WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage
Another one from MSG, December 85. Hulk throws him down off the lockup and Savage freaks out, and then retreats to the floor and has a conference with Elizabeth while some unidentified scoundrel throws a chair into the ring. Back in, Hogan says something hurtful about Randy’s dad and Savage takes another minute to compose himself before coming back in and dropping a knee on him. He misses a charge and Hulk gives him a corner clothesline and hits him with an atomic drop that sends Savage to the floor. And then Hulk goes out and threatens to punch Elizabeth! What kind of a monster is he? Back in, Savage goes up and Hulk catches him and puts him on the floor again, and then Hulk again threatens an innocent woman. He’s worse than Jimmy Snuka! Savage stops to check on a fan in the front row who might have been threatened by Hulk as well, and the back-fighting chicken champ attacks him from behind WHILE HIS BACK IS TURNED. What a real American. Thankfully Savage beats on him in the ring and then tosses him for a double axehandle to the floor to teach him a lesson about the price of cowardly behavior. Back in, that gets two, but Hulk is all messed up on PCP and doesn’t feel Savage’s punches. Hulk with the big boot and Savage gets out of there so he doesn’t have to deal with an obvious drug user on a bender. And Hulk follows him out and throws Elizabeth around! Back in, Savage has had enough of this misogynistic drug using monster, and he hits him with a double axehandle for two. Hulk is so desperate and hopped up on goofballs that he actually beats up the referee to save his own title, so Savage makes sure to give him the title back by handing it to him while jumping off the top rope. And then Randy helps up the referee and Hulk is thankfully counted out at 10:00. Savage is rightfully the new champion but apparently Hulk used his influence to gaslight everyone and get the rules changed to save his title. If this was World Class or many other promotions, we’d be in the Reign of Randy Savage for 1986, DIG IT. 2 for 2.
Jesse Ventura Meets His Public. From TNT, as Jesse talks about Corporal Kirschner. Jesse considers all “army guys” to be “pukes”. And then Vince takes audience questions and they’re all pretty stupid. But Jesse is so disdainful of the whole segment that it goes all the way around and becomes good again. 3 for 3.
The Haiti Kid v. Butch Cassidy
From MSG again, and Butch is basically the same size and build as Marko Stunt. The Kid works the arm with armdrags and gets a rollup for two, then plays “got your nose” for two, leading to some wacky midget comedy spots. Kid with some chops for two and a Coco Butt for two. Cassidy tries to run him into the turnbuckles, but Haiti Kid has a hard head because of science and he no-sells it. Cassidy pounds on him in the corner, but Haiti whips him into the corner for two. Cassidy gets a dropkick and a snap suplex for two. Another one gets two and Butch goes to the body vice, which he turns into a shoulderbreaker. Kid catches him with an airplane spin, and rolls him up for the pin at 10:33. 3 for 4.
Ivan Putski v. Johnny Valiant
We’re somewhere back in 1979 for this, given that Valiant is half of the tag team champions at this point. Valiant gets some cheapshots to take over right away, but Putski quickly no-sells and chases him to the floor. Back in, Valiant puts the boots to him, but Putski mounts another comeback and sends him into the corner with a headbutt. Valiant asks for time and Putski slugs him down and follow with a hiptoss and backdrop. Polish Hammer finishes at 4:33 to a giant pop. And then Putski and Tito Santana ended up being unlikely tag team champions a few weeks later. 3 for 5.
Advice for the Lovelorn with Lord Alfred Hayes, as Vince tries to get him to describe British dating habits. By the fifth date, you can place your hand around a maiden’s waist while you’re both facing in the same direction. Finally Alfred decides that after a six month courtship, you could touch lips. Apparently he hasn’t seen Bridgerton. 3 for 6.
Cowboy Bob Orton v. Ricky Steamboat
This is literally a repeat of the match from Best of the WWF Volume 3. I mean, it’s a great match, but they only had one match at the Cap Center in 1985 and this is it. What a weird way to end the tape. Still good for a point I guess. 4 for 7. Why would they just repeat a match, I wonder? Gorilla was literally bragging at the beginning of this tape about how they had thousands of hours of matches to sort through. Orton uses the cast for the DQ about 11 minutes in.
Anyway, first two matches were great, rest not so much.