The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 03.04.22
Yes, Revolution is this weekend, so if you’re ordering it on Fite.TV, follow the link above to send a few bucks my way and help out the blog!
Also, if you need to create a FREE account on Fite.TV, use my link to get $10 in credit towards a PPV as well! https://www.fite.tv/invite/wwkgzk1
Hey, getting old sucks! We had a #skstorm this weekend and I slipped on the ice and landed right on my good knee, so I’ve been limping around the house all day. But at least it gives me a viable excuse not to shovel the driveway. Thank the lord for Advil.
LIVE from Orlando, FL!
Your hosts are Excalibur, Chris Jericho, Taz & Ricky Starks
TNT title: Sammy Guevara v. Andrade v. Darby Allin
Sammy and Darby decide to team up on Andrade to start and hit him with splashes in the corner, setting up Darby’s Code Red for two. But then Sammy immediately saves and rolls up Darby for two. Darby grabs a headlock, but Sammy escapes and puts him down with a dropkick before giving him the chops in the corner. Sammy puts him on top and hits him with a knee strike to set up a superplex, but Andrade sneaks in for a powerbomb on Sammy while Sammy is holding Darby in a delayed suplex. Holy shit. That gets two on Darby and Andrade drops him on the top rope before taking the belt to him and then giving Sammy some lashes as well. Excalibur notes that they don’t want to see a DQ in the match, and Jericho questions if you can have DQs in three way matches. I don’t think we’ve established that particular rule as of yet, in fact. There’s only ever been a couple of three-way matches in the history of the promotion. Andrade stomps both guys down and expresses his displeasure with the crowd, before hitting Sammy with the rolling vertical suplexes, with the third one going into the turnbuckles. Darby fights back on Andrade in the corner, but walks into a nasty looking backbreaker, and Andrade goes up with a moonsault that misses Darby, but then hits Sammy. Now that’s a clever use of the double moonsault. Sammy dives and wipes out on the floor, so Andrade tries another moonsault on Darby, but Darby uses his own belt on Andrade, complete with studs. He hangs Andrade in the Tree of Woe and Sammy comes back in with a coast to coast dropkick and they’re all down. Darby hits Andrade with a dive to get rid of him, and then heads back in for a showdown with Sammy, but Sammy cradles him for two. They trade near-falls, but Andrade comes back in and kicks Darby’s head into Sammy’s head and then powerbombs Sammy for two. Darby with the stunner on Andrade, and Sammy hits Andrade with the GTH, but Darby tosses Sammy and hits the coffin drop on Andrade, and then Sammy saves with a swanton and pins Andrade at 13:14 to retain. A super-hot opener with crazy twists and turns and a great finish! **** Really this should be the PPV match and not the six-man.
Penta and Pac join us in the ring and apparently Alex is a dark priest now, and they challenge the House of Black to a 3-on-3 fight, at which point the House of Black mysteriously appears in the ring. And then Alex introduces the newest member of their team…Erick Redbeard. Bit of a downgrade from Fenix. So I guess they’re fighting on the Buy-In, which now has three matches on it. Some of us have FAMILIES we’d like to see at some point, AEW.
Meanwhile, Dan Lambert and Scorpio Sky promise that Sky is getting the next shot at Sammy.
Keith Lee v. JD Drake
Drake tries to throw chops and Lee laughs him off and pounces him. Drake bails and Lee beats him down on the floor while Taz and Starks relate how they were just trying to introduce themselves to Keith and got disrespected. Jericho: “When I was in ECW I tried to introduce myself to you at the Battallion Hall and you were a complete jerk to me!” Taz: “I wish you hadn’t brought that up. I had a bad attitude.” Lee puts him on the railing for some chops, but Drake chokes him out in the ring and finally gets some action on his chops. Lee puts him in the corner with a headbutt, but Drake dropkicks him and follows with a cannonball in the corner. Drake goes up with a moonsault for two, as he mostly hit the mat with that one. JD goes up and Lee catches him and powers him into the Ground Zero slam at 6:56. The Wingmen run in afterwards and poor Peter Avalon and his beautiful hair get tossed to the floor onto his friends. This wasn’t particularly good, mostly plodding, and Lee looked more like the slow WWE Lee. *1/2
Meanwhile, in the dressing room after Dynamite, Punk gets his cut tended to, but he stops to cut a promo because he’s all fired up from the blood. And now MJF gets the original Punk and Punk’s gonna “walk him like a dog and beat him until his own mother won’t recognize him.” That sounds serious. Also, he’s going to become a monster to fight the monster. I’ve heard that’s a bad idea.
Meanwhile, Jade Cargill is sick of Tay Conti and her karate shit, but Tay hits her with some karate shit from behind. Well no wonder she hates it!
5 Minute Challenge: Serena Deeb v. Leila Grey
Grey decides to go with the “run away” solution to the challenge, but Deeb catches her and hauls her to the floor facefirst. Back in, Deeb finishes her with a facelock at 1:04. Next week on Dark, Grey teams up with Skye Blue as the Civil War re-enacting team of The Blue & The Grey. Afterwards, Hikaru Shida returns and chases Deeb into the crowd with a kendo stick. Come on, haven’t we seen enough of this feud already? I was really hoping this challenge gimmick would lead to something new for Deeb.
Meanwhile, Eddie Kingston gives us some INSIDER TERMS. What’s kayfabe? And then Eddie takes Tony to catering for Peanut Butter Reese’s Pie.
Face of the Revolution qualifier: Ethan Page v. Christian Cage
Feels kind of last minute to add yet another person to the ladder match. Page beats on him in the corner, but Christian gets an uppercut out of the corner and tosses him for a baseball slide. Back to the apron, where Page sends him flying off the apron and into the railing. Christian teases the countout and then beats the count at 9, so Page tosses him out the other side. Christian goes under the ring this time and sneaks up from behind Page with a rollup for two, but Page clotheslines him down again. He chokes away in the corner while making sarcastic remarks to the ref, and then brings Christian down with an Iconoclasm and delayed suplex while flexing. Page with a bearhug and Christian elbows out of that and slugs away in the corner while Excalibur runs down the PPV card. Sunset flip gets two. Reverse DDT gets two. Page hides in the ropes and suckers Cage in for a cutter, and that gets two. Cage necks him and goes up with a diving headbutt for two. Page hits him with a shoulderblock for two. Cage with a spear for two. Page runs him into the post to set up the Ego’s Edge, but Christian reverses to the Killswitch to finish at 8:55 and advance to the ladder match. Decent match with a mostly dead crowd, as both guys are ice cold right now. **1/2
And then we close with Jurassic Express coming out to celebrate, before the Bucks and reDRagon come out and steal the tag belts, allowing Jungle Boy to hit them all with a dive to end the show.
The opener was excellent, the rest was pretty much just a show.