The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 01.31.22

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dark Elevation – 01.31.21

I’m really quite enjoying this show as a Monday night staple.

Taped from Cleveland, OH

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Paul Wight & Mark Henry

Lance Archer v. Chase Oliver

Sadly we don’t an announcement of the geek, although Archer beats him up at the ramp and tosses him down to the ringside area, which prompts Justin Roberts to quip “Now throwing his opponent to the ring…” before Archer murders him and finishes with the Blackout at 1:10. The ring announcement alone is worth a point. 1 for 1. And then Archer tells Cleveland that they all need to shut up because they suck, and then points out that Hangman has a mouthful of shit and is next to die. That’s a pretty bad way to die.

Brandi Rhodes v. Kilynn King

King milks the home state pop, while Brandi brings AA with her and still gets booed. Kilynn was always one of the most notable “fake fans” during the Jacksonville era so I’m glad to see her getting work again. King chases Brandi to the floor and hits her with a baseball slide, but catches a knee from Brandi on the way back in. Brandi works her over in the corner and kicks her down for two. Enzuigiri gets two while Tony reminisces about “mafia kicks” from back in the day. Kilynn fights back with the World’s Strongest Slam for two, but they slug it out and Brandi gets a pump kick and finishes with the STF at 3:57, which she calls “The Stretch Marks”. Well that’s a thing. This was not great. Brandi has great heat just being herself, but she still doesn’t have much in the ring to back it up. 1 for 2.

Jay Lethal v. Casey Carrington

Casey looks like he’s 13 years old, which has Mark and Paul shaking their heads and feeling old. Me too. Lethal wins a hiptoss battle and puts Casey on the floor, then follows with a tope suicida and stops to strut. Back in, that gets two. Jay drops him with a suplex for two while Wight blanks on Sade’s name, but Carrington reverses a slam for two. Lethal hits a neckbreaker and then does a torture rack into a Regal roll and finishes with the flying elbow and Lethal Injection at 3:10. Usual Lethal squash here and the poor kid looked terrified to be out there. 1 for 3.

Anna Jay v. Nikki Victory

Sounds like a GLOW wrestler. Nikki has her resting bitch face down pat. She attacks Anna in the corner and throws some nice kicks and a dropkick for two. Blind charge misses and Anna fires back with a hip attack in the corner and then puts her away with the sleeper at 1:20. Fun while it lasted. 2 for 4.

Dante Martin, Lee Moriarty & Matt Sydal v. QT Marshall, Aaron Solo & Nick Comorodo

Anthony Ogogo is back from wherever he was and at ringside again, while Wight goes on a run about how QT’s music reminds him of fake knockoff Twinkies, getting you all hyped up for something awesome that’s about to happen and then letting you down when it turns out to be QT. Moriarty outsmarts Solo with a backslide for two to start and a crossbody for two, which prompts Henry and Wight to have a funny “old guys in a barber shop” argument about Wight’s aerial abilities. Comorodo gets an amazing one-handed press on Dante, but Sydal dropkicks him over to save and the Factory bails to regroup. Next topic of conversation: How tight ARE Ogogo’s pants? Pretty tight, apparently. Back in the ring, Sydal works on QT but gets tripped up by Ogogo, prompting the ref to send him back to the dressing room. But the heels go to work on Sydal and Solo gets a snap suplex for two while the old men on commentary compare Comorodo to Hercules and Billy Jack Haynes. He needs to do a few more drug-fueled rants on YouTube to reach Billy Jack levels, but I can kind of see it. Comorodo tries a suplex on Sydal and gets kneed in the head as a result, but QT cuts off the tag and then takes a rana for his troubles. Hot tag Dante and he’s a HOUSE OF FIRE with a dropkick on Solo and he goes up with a flying bodypress for two. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but the babyfaces try stereo dives and get stuffed by the heels. They triple-team Dante into a flying double stomp from Solo, but that only gets two. “Oh my god I just cheered!” notes Henry. They try another triple-team, but Moriarty saves this time and Sydal hits Comorodo with the double knees, setting up Dante for the moonsault on Solo to finish at 7:44. This was just fun. I love wrestling. 3 for 5.

Thunder Rosa & Ruby Soho v. Joseline Navarro & Megan Meyers

Ruby and Rosa double-team Meyers while Wight drops some knowledge on Henry by revealing that Frankenstein was written by Mary Shelley. Did he seriously not know that already? Navarro comes in and Rosa hits her with the double stomp on the ropes, and Ruby catapults Navarro into a dropkick from Rosa that gets two. Navarro is not looking good out there, but she also looks like she’s 13. Rosa finishes with the Thunder Driver at 2:45. The jobbers looked very, VERY green here. 3 for 6. And then Mercedes comes out to glare at Rosa to continue that feud.

Penta El Zero Miedo v. Serpentico

Dr. Luther is absent so Serpentico has to carry himself to the ring. Penta’s all fired up tonight and immediately ditches the glove and starts chopping. Serpentico tries to fire back and that’s just SAD. He tries to run away and Penta drags him back in and hits him with monkey flips, but Serpentico successfully runs away this time. Penta follows him out and gives him some chops against the post, but misses a kick and that allows Serpentico to take over. Back in, he misses a dive and Penta tosses him into the corner for two. Serpentico comes back with a flatliner for two and goes up for a swanton, but Penta gets the knees up and follows with a sling blade for two. Serpentico manages to superkick him to the floor, but he tries a dive and Penta catches him in a press slam and drops him on the railing. Back in, the Fear Factor piledriver finishes at 5:27. Another fun match. 4 for 7.

Such an easy, fun watch, with just some light angles and people getting to show their stuff.