The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 03.01.86
Been a couple of months since I hit this up, so let’s go back to 1986 JCP!
Taped from Fayetteville, NC
Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Johnny Weaver
Your cold open of the week sees the Horsemen delivering a brutal beatdown on Dusty Rhodes over on Worldwide. In other news, the sun comes up in the morning.
Jim Cornette joins Bob to start, and he’s still allowed to carry the tennis racket because barring it would be against his Constitutional rights. Also we’ve got a new set backdrop and a bigger arena than usual and it’s pretty swank.
The Rock N Roll Express v. Ben Alexander & David Dillinger
Alexander, who looks like the world’s most dangerous history teacher, goes after Robert with some gut shots to start, but Robert takes him down with a headlock and Ricky comes in with a rollup for two. Over to Dillinger, but the RNR immediately give him a double dropkick and pin him at 1:30. The crowd reactions to all of this are just unreal, with the entire female portion of the audience ready to throw their panties at the ring in excitement. 1 for 1.
Ric Flair joins us with the historic debut of the BIG GOLD BELT and his name already spelled wrong on the face plate. Only Ric Flair in his thousand dollar suits could be carrying that thing around. Can you imagine awarding that thing to Dusty Rhodes and his dirty t-shirt? BARF. Anyway, Flair is awesome as ever here talking about how great he is and how Jim Crockett wanted the best representing his promotion, so now we got the best champion and the best championship belt.
Tully Blanchard v. George South
As a reminder, Tully has promised that he will win the National title from Dusty Rhodes within four weeks. South gives him some trouble right away, but Tully slugs him down and kills him dead with the slingshot suplex at 1:05. 1 for 2.
The Rock N Roll Express join us and Dusty Rhodes quickly interrupts because he wants to talk about Baby Doll. She used to ride on the other side of the moon but now she’s on the Milky Way, apparently. I don’t know what that means but it sounds unpleasant for everyone. Anyway, Dusty has a special gift for the Rock n Roll: A giant cage called Betty Lou that will hold Jim Cornette when they get their rematch with the Midnight Express.
Baron Von Raschke v. Ron Rossi
Baron hits the guy with knees, sort of, and adds a backdrop before finishing with the clawhold at 0:56, and that is all the people need to know. 1 for 3.
Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin makes his debut, joining Tony Schiavone in the ring for an interview after jumping from World Class. He just wants everyone to know he’s still the best in the world and he’s got some skeletons in the closet to reveal. Case in point: Magnum TA used to be a male dancer in San Francisco, a fact that he learned recently and he’s revealing here for the first time. Huge if true. Also he’s a wimp and he’s afraid of Jimmy Garvin. He’s so excited about this that he makes out with Precious and Tony goes to wrap up the interview, but Jimmy still has more to say about himself while the people for the next match wait patiently for him to wrap it up.
Teijho Khan & The Barbarian v. The Italian Stallion & Rocky King
For those who always ask, yes, Teijho Khan is obviously the uncle of current power-brokers Nick and Tony. Barbarian quickly hits King with a press slam and Khan beats on him with clubbing forearms, setting up a diving headbutt from Barbarian to finish at 2:24. I think the match was better when all four were standing on the floor waiting for Garvin to stop talking. 1 for 4.
Sam Houston & Nelson Royal join us and yes, Sam Houston is still Mid-Atlantic champion, in theory the #1 championship here on Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling. Sam whines about getting screwed over by Jim Cornette last week, so this week’s swapped out Pez Whatley for Nelson Royal and they’ve got another shot at the Midnight Express this week. Well you know what they say about the definition of madness.
The Russians join us and they’re pretty sure Magnum TA is a coward because he won’t wrestle Nephew Nikita, so the Kremlin has now ordered Nikita not to wrestle on TV until TA ceases being a coward and agrees to defend the US title against him. So Magnum appears in the ring and challenges Nikita RIGHT FUCKING NOW but Ivan doesn’t trust him because he’s up to something and has friends backing him up for an obvious trap. UNCLE IVAN IS SMARTER THAN THAT. Nikita goes on an awesome rant about “maybe you hide American Dream! Maybe you hide Road Warriors!” and they put off the fight for another day until TA stops being a coward and signs the contract legally. AWESOME.
Ronnie Garvin, Manny Fernandez & Ron Bass v. Mack Jeffers, Jim Jeffers & Tony Zane
Zane quickly takes a beating in the babyface corner and it’s over to Jim Jeffers, but Manny hits him with the FLYING BURRITO and chops him down. Garvin gives him the Hands of Stone and they let Mack Jeffers tag in, at which point Manny gives him another Flying Burrito and pins him at 2:20. Weaver gets his first drunk moment of the night, calling Ron “Sam Bass”. Yeah that’s a different guy. 1 for 5.
Dusty Rhodes joins us and he’s tired of the Horsemen doing all the talking. Bob asks about Jimmy Garvin, but Dusty thinks Baby Doll is the only real 10. YEAH OKAY THEN. So for those keeping track, Dusty has now inserted himself into three different unrelated feuds on this same show, plus of course he always has to warn Ric Flair to watch out for him. Tully is the guy he’s actually feuding with at this point.
The Midnight Express v. Sam Houston & Nelson Royal
I’m sure the Midnights are quaking in fear at 80 year old Nelson Royal staring them down across the ring. The babyfaces manage to double-team Condrey to start, but Dennis takes Houston down with an armbar and beats on him with knees. Houston comes back with a dropkick and Condrey backs off and lets Eaton give it a try. So Bobby beats on him in the corner, but Houston gets a flying headscissors and takes him down. He tries another one and Bobby drops him on the top rope with a stungun and the Express goes to work. Dennis with a butterfly suplex for two and runs him into Bobby’s knee. Back elbow gets two. Houston manages to crawl over and make the tag to Royal and he runs wild for a bit and gets an abdominal stretch on Dennis, at which point Bobby has no choice but to use the tennis racket for the DQ at 4:48. I mean, he had an abdominal stretch on the man! What choice did he have? Condrey’s abdomen might have been stretched beyond repair if he hadn’t broken that up! 2 for 6. They go to teach Houston a lesson afterwards, but the Rock N Roll Express make the save and chase them off.
Cowboy Ron Bass joins us and he wants to talk about Paul Jones and his claims of having the strongest man in pro wrestling in the form of Superstar Graham, and he’s willing to take him up on his $10,000 challenge but Paul keeps ducking him.
World TV title: Arn Anderson v. Rocky Kernodle
Rocky’s bleached blond hair makes him look like a smaller Dino Bravo here. He takes Arn down and works the arm to start, but Arn slugs out of it and they collide on a shoulderblock attempt. And then Arn finishes him with the gourdbuster at 2:55. Pretty disappointing actually for a guy like Kernodle who was usually a higher level jobber. 2 for 7.
The in-ring stuff wasn’t great this week but that’s hardly the point of these shows anyway. The super jacked southern crowd and great promos make this well worth your time.