Date: December 10, 2021
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee
We’re on the way to Day One and that means some more of the show needs to be put together. The main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title is now set, but we are missing a Jeff Hardy, who was released earlier this week. That could shake things up a bit so let’s get to it.
In Memory of Blackjack Lanza.
Here is Sami Zayn, in a wheelchair/leg cast/neck brace, with two male nurses pushing him to the ring. After a video on last week’s big beatdown at the hands of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar, Sami says he is the toughest man in WWE. Sami talks about how this isn’t necessarily a conspiracy, but he was betrayed last week….and now he has to sue. He promises to sue everyone involved with last week but here is Paul Heyman to interrupt. Heyman: “You’re doing my people’s shtick. My people own entertainment in Hollywood.”
Sami tells him to get out of his camera shot but Heyman shushes him. Heyman keeps going with his usual speech but Sami stands up because he knows Reigns isn’t here tonight. Violence is threatened against Heyman…..and here is Brock Lesnar, meaning it’s time to panic. Lesnar grabs a chair and Heyman is already looking a little nervous. Lesnar sits down in the chair and looks at Zayn, who thinks this is a bit far.
They got off on the wrong foot, with Zayn saying his pain is a ten. Lesnar says he did Sami a favor last week because he was never going to beat Roman Reigns one on one. All he was doing was hurting Zayn so that Reigns’ win wouldn’t really count! Lesnar confirms that Sami is from Montreal and we get a bit of French, which is Lesnar trying to lighten the mood.
Lesnar invites him to Saskatchewan to go hunting or fishing, but Zayn says he’s vegan. That brings Lesnar to his feet and he wheels Zayn towards the ropes. Heyman: “WHAT THE H*** AM I LOOKING AT HERE???” Heyman thinks he spent too much time at the dispensary and the edibles are kicking in (McAfee: “PREACH!”).
Three years ago, this would have been a trip to Suplex City, but instead he’s watching the once and likely future Universal Champion….who beats up the nurses as Heyman bails. Heyman looks pleased as Lesnar throws the wheelchair out of the ring and gives Zayn an F5 (McAfee: “WE NEED ANOTHER NECK BRACE!”). This was a long opening segment to bring the Beast back out, but it makes Lesnar’s laid back attitude a bit more odd as he just shrugged it off and mauled Zayn again.
Post break, Lesnar is asked what that was about. He says to ask his advocate, Paul Heyman.
Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs vs. Los Lotharios
Boogs Pounces Humberto to start but a cheap shot from Angel….doesn’t do much as Boogs brings him inside as well. There’s a gorilla press toss to send Angel outside but the distraction lets Humberto get in some shots from behind. That doesn’t last long either as Nakamura comes in and hits Kinshasa for the pin at 1:25.
A bunch of wrestlers are gathered around for the unveiling of King Woods’ new crown. Said crown is rather large, but Woods is ready to beat up RKBro and the Usos tonight.
We look back at Drew McIntyre being annoyed that he wasn’t in the #1 contenders battle royal.
Last week, Sonya Deville told Drew McIntyre that Adam Pearce made the list.
This week, Adam Pearce tells Drew McIntyre that Sonya Deville made the list, on orders from a higher authority. Said higher authority also says Drew can’t bring his sword to the ring, so Drew puts the sword into the desk.
Sasha Banks comes up to Toni Storm in the back and tells Storm she has this tonight against Charlotte. Banks praises Storm’s training around the world and tells her not to lose her cool until Charlotte loses hers. Then it’s Toni Time. This was one of those segments depicting two women talking in ways that no humans would never actually talk.
Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre
McIntyre slugs away to start and the brawl is on, with an exchange of hard forearms to the chest. They head outside with McIntyre snapping off an overhead belly to belly as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Irish Curse for two but McIntyre is back up in a hurry. The Claymore is cut off by a running knee for two and they slow down a bit. They trade headbutts until McIntyre blasts him with the Claymore for the pin at 7:34.
Rating: C+. There is something to be said about having two big power guys hit each other in the face really hard. That’s what we got here, and it’s certainly better than watching McIntyre do the goofy stuff with Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss. This feud might have been more than a few times now, but it still works well in a spot like this one.
In the back, we see Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin stealing Adam Pearce’s desk, still containing the sword.
Video tribute to Blackjack Lanza.
Paul Heyman is leaving when Kayla Braxton interrupts him. Heyman asks her to stop doing that, so Braxton asks about Lesnar calling Heyman his advocate. Heyman asks her to stop doing that too, so Braxton brings up what Roman Reigns will think about the comments. Reality sets in for Heyman in a hurry, as he knows he screwed up.
We recap Naomi vs. Sonya Deville, as Sonya is the latest evil boss.
Sonya Deville vs. Naomi
Naomi tells Sonya to get out here, so here is Sonya, albeit with a few announcements. Natalya is the guest ring announcer and Shayna Baszler is the guest timekeeper. Naomi bails outside to go after both of them to start so Sonya bails before the opening bell. All three get on the apron, so here’s the debuting Xia Li to even things up a bit (complete with blue electric lights coming off of her during the entrance). Naomi and Xia clear the ring but Sonya is pulled out before Naomi can hit the split legged moonsault. No match.
Riddle wants Randy Orton to meet his friends….the cast of Jackass Forever. Riddle is a big fan but Orton has nothing to say.
Charlotte vs. Toni Storm
Non-title but a Champions Contender match. Charlotte punches her down to start so Toni is right back with a basement dropkick. There’s the running hip attack in the corner and a crossbody gives Storm two. Not to be outdone, Charlotte kicks her in the face and Storm is down for a bit. Charlotte goes up for the double moonsault but a bit of mistiming leaves Charlotte trying to cover Storm when she is on her face. The Figure Eight is countered into a small package to give Storm two, followed by a German suplex for the same. Charlotte posts her and takes it to the apron, where Storm is stomped against the post for the DQ at 3:20.
Rating: C-. So yeah, after getting her comeuppance in the form of a pie in the face, Charlotte is right back by beating Storm so much that the referee had to call the match. But hey, at least Storm gets another match where she is probably going to get this close to winning before coming short again. That way we can get back to the important stuff, like Charlotte vs. Banks. Such is WWE, and I can’t even get annoyed anymore.
Post match, Charlotte lays her out AGAIN.
Brock Lesnar comes in to see Adam Pearce, who looks terrified. Lesnar thanks him for the suspension, because he got to score a giant moose when he was out hunting. Lesnar pulls out his flip phone to show Pearce said moose but can’t get it to work. Instead he talks about hanging the moose up on the wall in his cabin and wanted a way to remember things. That’s why he named the moose Pearce.
Usos vs. New Day vs. RKBro
Non-title. New Day double teams Riddle to start and Woods drops a fist for two as the Usos are cool with hanging out on the apron. The Usos come in to clear the ring in a hurry though and we take a break. Back with Woods forearming Jey down to start, allowing Kofi to come in with a high crossbody for two. Riddle tags himself in for the release gutwrench suplex for his own two on Jey.
Jimmy makes a blind tag though and now it’s Riddle getting double teamed. Orton breaks that up in a hurry but Jey cuts Riddle off in a hurry. The chinlock goes on but Jey spends too much time posing, allowing Riddle to avoid a corner splash. The tag is loaded up….but Jimmy pulls Orton off the apron. New Day has to make a save of their own and we take a break.
Back with Kofi cutting off a tag attempt so Riddle stays in trouble. Woods grabs a suplex for two and the chinlock goes on again. The fans want Orton but get Woods elbowing Riddle in the back of the head instead. Riddle strikes away at New Day and that’s enough for the hot tag to Orton. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the hanging DDT to Jey. The RKO is broken up but Jey can’t hit the Superfly Splash. Woods tags himself in as Orton hits the RKO on Jimmy. Jey superkicks Orton but gets superkicked by Woods, setting up Daybreak for the pin at 18:54.
Rating: B-. That was the least surprising ending I can remember in a very long time, as it would be the most WWE ending possible. Sure New Day doesn’t have a title of their own, but they get to be the best team in the world. That’s one of the many reasons why WWE is in the state that it is in today, and the fact that you could guess the ending as soon as the match was announced makes it even worse.
Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show this week, though there were more than a few moments where I rolled my eyes at some of the dumber things they were doing (New Day winning, Charlotte leaving Storm laying). Lesnar smashing Zayn was good and Heyman was great as always though and Xia Li’s debut worked. There were enough positives this week, but there were also enough moments that left me skeptical about the future, as tends to be the case in WWE.
Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs b. Los Lotharios – Kinshasa to Humberto
Drew McIntyre b. Sheamus – Claymore
Toni Storm b. Charlotte via DQ when Charlotte would not stop attacking Storm in the ropes
New Day b. Usos and RKBro – Daybreak to Jey
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