The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 11.26.21
Thanks to everyone who took advantage of the Black Friday special on the rant archives today! It took me a while to send out the links to everyone because I was busy getting mauled at work all day but I’m pretty sure I was able to get everything done tonight. If you didn’t send me an email address LIKE I ASKED, I messaged you the link via PayPal so check there.
As for me, I didn’t take advantage of any Black Friday deals because money is still a thing, although I’m debating switching from my iPhone XS Max to a 12 because they’re pretty cheap this weekend and lord help anyone trying to find a 13 in Saskatchewan. I’d switch back to Android but then my text messages to my wife would be green instead of blue and apparently that’s very upsetting to her, plus I’m kind of all about my Apple watch now anyway. It even notifies me when Tony Khan’s giant Happy Gilmore novelty cheque is going to arrive!
Taped from Chicago, IL
Your hosts are Excalibur, Ricky Starks, Chris Jericho & Taz
Adam Cole & Bobby Fish v. Orange Cassidy & Wheeler Yuta
Orange trying to throw his jacket to the crowd but being unable to clear the ring apron is a low key great character moment for him. Fish beats on Yuta with kicks in the corner, but the Friends do some double-teaming in the corner, although Yuta is a bit more energetic in his splashes. Adam Cole comes in and prevents Orange from putting the hands in the pockets with a well-timed ADAM COLE BAYBAY and they do a whole sequence where they fight over the pockets while Adam desperately tries to stop him with various holds. So Orange gets a thumbs up and a crucifix for two. They take Cole to the corner and Yuta hits running clotheslines multiple times while Orange slowly progresses across the ring with his arm in the air. Yuta goes up and Cole trips him up, however, and the Disputed Era take over as Fish chokes Yuta out. Fish beats Yuta down with kicks and Cole gets a neckbreaker. Back to Fish, who gets a snap suplex while Taz gives Starks shit for using “cohesiveness” twice in the same match. I think “cohesion” is actually the word that Ricky was looking for. Yuta escapes with a suplex and enzuigiri on Fish, but Cole takes out Orange to cut off the tag. They bring Yuta back to the corner and beat on him some more, but Yuta hits both guys with a missile dropkick and this time he gets the hot tag to Orange. So Orange comes in with no urgency and puts his hands in his pockets for the big kicks, and a double rana as he runs wild. Saunters wild? The heels get thrown out and the Friends hit stereo dives, and then stereo splashes on Adam Cole for two. Cole fights them off with kicks, but Orange gets a stunner into a jackknife cover for two. Fish suplexes Orange into Yuta and then takes him to the corner for kicks to knee and into the kneebar. Yuta manages to break it up, but Cole superkicks him out, and Orange hits the Beach Break on Adam. Fish suplexes Orange into the corner, so Yuta tags himself back in and slams Fish for two. Northern Lights bomb gets two. But then he goes up and Cole brings him down, right on his “yam bag”, and destroys Orange for good measure. Fish brings Yuta down with a top rope Falcon Arrow, and in this case truly no one kicks out of the falcon arrow at 12:54. Hell of an opener here, just solid tag team wrestling. ***1/2
Meanwhile, Tony chats with Tony Nese, who thinks he can solve the riddle of Sammy Guevara, which brings out Sammy to accept the open challenge for next week. And then Nese lays him out to seal the deal.
Meanwhile, FTR challenges Lucha Bros to a 2 out of 3 falls rematch NEXT WEEK.
Dr. Britt Baker DMD v. Riho
Jamie Hayter is back in the corner this week, which I’m sure will be totally according to plan and not cause any issues at all. Riho takes her down and works a wristlock, but Britt rolls her up for two and goes for the Lockjaw, which Riho quickly escapes. So Britt’s goons get their cheapshots in while Britt takes the ref, but Riho comes back with dropkicks to chase Britt to the floor. So follows with a dive to take out Britt and Rebel, and back in for running elbows that Britt reverses into the corner. Britt takes over as we take a break. Back with Britt hitting a sling blade for two and she puts the boots to Riho in the corner and chokes her out. They slug it out and Riho gets a headscissors and tries a northern lights suplex, but Britt reverses her into the corner with her own suplex. Riho with a dragon suplex, but Britt hits the Air Raid Crash for two. Riho with a northern lights suplex for two. Riho goes up with the double stomp for two. Riho charges and hits the corner, but Britt tries the neckbreaker and Riho rolls her up for the pin at 11:43. So Riho is now in line for a title shot. *** Surprisingly no follow-up on Jamie Hayter’s walkout from Dynamite.
Eddie Kingston v. Daniel Garcia
Eddie quickly takes him down and tries for a choke, so Garcia makes the ropes and heads to the floor to think it over. Back in, Eddie puts the boots to him in the corner, so 2point0 pulls him out to save him. Eddie deals with them, but Garcia catches him from behind and chokes him out in the corner while Jericho namedrops all the All Japan big names. Hopefully Tony Khan isn’t planning on reanimating the corpse of Misawa and opening the REAL Forbidden Door of the undead. Sure, we’ve all discussed the rumors on Twitter, but that was just some good fun on Halloween. Graverobbing and zombification is never cool! Shame on you, hypothetical Dr. Frankenstein version of Tony Khan that I just made up! Garcia gets some shots in the corner to weaken the knee, but Kingston slams him out of the corner and hits him with chops. They slug it out in the corner and Garcia takes him down and works on the back while Matt and Jeff put the badmouth on Eddie. Back in, Garcia goes to a neck vice and then clips the knee, but can’t make the cover. So Garcia goes back to the knee and then tries for an armbar, but Eddie blocks it, so Garcia puts the boots to his head. Eddie is having trouble walking while selling the knee, but Eddie pops up with an exploder to buy some time. Garcia takes him down and rolls into a kneebar, but Eddie quickly makes the ropes. Garcia goes back to torturing the knee, but Eddie fights him off with a one-legged powerbomb. Garcia picks the ankle and gets a heel hook this time, but then gets frustrated and beats on Eddie with palm strikes instead. So that just fires up Eddie and he comes back with another suplex. They get into a strike battle and Garcia surprisingly wins that one, knocking Eddie down, but Eddie fires back with the Saito suplex and backfist for the pin at 15:00. This prompts an immediate beatdown from 2point0, but Chris Jericho leaves the table to make the save and end the show. This was kind of a fascinating match, as they were clashing to start and eventually worked it out with Eddie selling the knee and trading big shots, and it ended up as a great match. ***3/4
This was the kind of pleasant surprise I always enjoy, where I barely remember what the card was going in and everything ends up delivering big to produce a great show.