The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Yeah, sure, why not. Hopefully this will send some positive vibes his way. This actually the last of the “WWE Golden Era” Coliseum videos on the WWE Network that I’ve never watched before.
Released February 25 1989.
As always for 1989, Ultimate Warrior reminds us not to smoke. But, you know, shooting yourself up with steroids and all kinds of other drugs is just fine.
Hosted by, who else, Hacksaw Jim Duggan! He runs down the reasons why America is so great, because there’s no Kings or Queens. He’d sure change his tune when he won the crown later in the year.
We get a montage of him hitting people with his board to the tune of patriotic music, but then we learn that Duggan’s hosting duties were just a bait-and-switch, and in fact Sean Mooney is the true host.
First up, we get Duggan’s first appearance on [Blurred Logo] of Wrestling, as he chases off Nikolai Volkoff for daring to sing his home country’s national anthem, and then follows it up by getting the Killer Bees disqualified at Wrestlemania III, like a TRUE AMERICAN.
Flag match: Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Boris Zhukov
From Saturday Night’s Main Event and I’m sure I’ve done this one multiple times but at least it’s short. Duggan chases him out of the ring while Vince and Jesse agree that Duggan is pretty dumb. Boris gets some back rakes and slugs away in the corner, but Duggan hits him with a clothesline out of the corner and finishes with the three point stance at 2:30. 0 for 1. I still have trouble reconciling bald Russian Boris with southern redneck hick Jim Nelson. And of course he gets to raise the US flag and salute it, in a payoff so patriotically American that it makes Bill Watts look like a woke commie sympathizer.
From Superstars, Jim Duggan is scheduled to work a squash match, but King Harley Race refuses to leave ringside because he hasn’t finished “basking in his regalness”. So Duggan clobbers him with his board to get him out of the way. That’s like when Trump met with Queen Elizabeth a few years ago.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Tiger Chung Lee
Lee is from Korea, although it’s not specified whether it’s freedom-loving Squid Game Korea or communist empire North Korea. We’ll assume the North. Duggan slams him and drops a knee for two, and then gets his spinning slam while the officials try to get rid of Race. Three point stance finishes at 0:59, but Race fights his way through the usual gang of idiots and brings a chair with him this time. But Duggan, much like Yosemite Sam, speaks LOUDLY and carries a BIGGER stick, so he’s able to chase Race off again and steals the crown for good measure. And Finkel even announces him as the new King! That’ll be the day. This was a good instafeud setup. 1 for 2.
“King” Jim Duggan joins Craig DeGeorge for a special interview, still wearing Race’s crown and robe, but Bobby Heenan runs interference and takes the bullet for his man, allowing Harley to sneak up and beat the snot out of Duggan with his own 2×4 and retrieve his god-given regal garb.
Meanwhile, at the 37th Annual Slammy Awards, Jim Duggan is presenting an award, complete with tuxedo t-shirt and bow tie on his board, and he presents the award for best apparel. Nominees are Demolition, Randy Savage, Honky Tonk Man, the British Bulldogs and King Harley Race. All good choices, but Race wins the award, so Duggan refuses to give him the award and lets the girl on the stage do it instead. So Bobby Heenan (with a bow tie on his neck brace) is more than happy to accept the award, but Race refuses the award unless Duggan presents it to him by kneeling in respect first. So Duggan refuses and they proceed to have a crazy brawl backstage, while Gorilla Monsoon grabs a microphone to do play-by-play. Bobby ends up in a dumpster, taking a clown bump for Duggan, and they fight to the makeup table and throw powder at each other before somehow finding a donkey and a box of chickens. They fight into the electrical area and continue having a crawl brawl while Brutus Beefcake presents the award for “Best Head”, which turns out to be a tie between Mean Gene and Bam Bam Bigelow. Race even dives off a stage and goes through a table, and then some guy walks a llama through the stage while Bobby is freaking out. Finally we take a break and Heenan manages to lock Duggan into the utility room, but Duggan manages to climb the fence and bury Race and Heenan under a giant pile of boxes. They fight back into the backstage area where various dancers are running around in their underwear, and poor Bobby gets beat up by a stunt granny. Next up, Bobby and Race take Duggan into the catering room and throw him onto one of the tables, but Duggan gives Bobby an atomic drop through a table and then throws the punch bowl at Race. Finally we head back to the stage where Gene and Jesse are trying to give another award, but Race and Duggan burst through the backdrop, with Race bleeding all over the place, and Gorilla finally manages to haul Duggan off while Gene casually continues reading the nominees for whatever. So the winner is Duggan, and he comes back out and collects his award to cap off his evening. Yeah, this is clearly going to be the best thing on the entire tape by a mile and I haven’t even finished watching it yet. Obviously this was hugely influential for a million different brawls in the Attitude Era and even the Cinematic Wrestling era and Race was just gung ho to do whatever crazy nonsense they came up with. 2 for 3.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. King Harley Race
From MSG, January 25 1988, with the unique team of Vince and Lord Alfred on commentary. They actually gave the date here so I didn’t have to go digging on Cagematch! Race immediately backs off to the corner and lures Duggan in for a headbutt, and then hits him with clotheslines in the corner before Duggan fires back with his own. Duggan whips him into the corner for a Flair flip to the floor as Race bumps facefirst to the concrete. Back in the ring, Race gets another headbutt, but Duggan whips him into the corner and Race FLIES into the post and retreats to the apron. So Duggan hauls him in and Race flips back into the ring, but they collide and Race “accidentally” falls on Duggan’s crotch with a headbutt. Duggan keeps going with the punches in the corner, and thankfully the crowd assists him with counting to ten, but Race hits him with a belly to belly for two. Piledriver gets two. Duggan shakes it off and slugs Race down again as Race bumps all over the place for him, but Duggan misses a kneedrop and Race goes to work on it. Duggan tries to come back but Race rakes the eyes to cut him off and tosses him outside, but then he tries a headbutt on the floor and misses, SLAMMING his own head into the floor with a sick thump. DUDE. Back in, Race backdrops Duggan over the top rope to put him on the floor again and they brawl out there. Back in, Race beats on Duggan to keep him on the apron, so Duggan runs under the ring and comes out behind Race on the other side, and that allows him to make the comeback. He slugs away and puts Race on the floor with a shoulderblock, but they fight back into the ring again. Race goes up with a flying bodypress, but Duggan rolls through and gets the pin at 11:00. This was, no kidding, a legit **** match with crazy bumping from Race and non-stop action. 3 for 4.
Meanwhile, at Wrestlemania IV, Jim Duggan is facing Ted Dibiase in the first round, but Andre trips him up and Dibiase eventually goes to the finals.
Andre the Giant faces some jobber on Superstars, but he headbutts and dumps the poor guy before the bell, and Jim Duggan storms out to get some revenge for Wrestlemania and challenges him to a match. Andre literally brushes him off, but then turns around and chokes out Duggan, smashing his mouth open with a headbutt at the same time and laying waste to him. But then Duggan grabs his board and knocks out the Giant in self-defense.
Andre the Giant v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
From Boston Garden, June 5 1988. We get my dream commentary team of Roger Kent and Superstar Billy Graham, which is like a Covid fever dream. Andre immediately walks out of the match, but road agent Pedro Morales tells him to get out there again and he’s got a fiery Latin temper so I’d listen to him. So then Andre clarifies his stance here: He wants the crowd to shut up before he’ll step into the ring. Seems fair. Graham: “What do you think Andre’s heartbeat is right now?” Roger: “About 127 I’d say.” Graham: “No, it’s 198! Over 99 or 98.” This is why you don’t take medical advice from Superstar Graham. Andre continues his protest on the floor while Duggan swings the board around and Andre finally gets into the ring 4:40 after the opening bell. Duggan immediately pushes him into the ropes to tie him up, as Graham says “he’s never seen Andre tied up in the ropes before.” Has Graham never watched an Andre match before? Earlier in the match he said he worked with Andre “a few hundred times”. By the way, the actual answer is 3 singles matches between them, two in the 70s five years apart and one in the early 80s. Andre escapes the ropes and traps Duggan in a surfboard and then chokes him out with the strap before beating him down on the ropes. Kent: “it’s like getting beaten down with a 12 pound ham. Bone in!” It’s always the bone that makes the difference. Duggan fights back and tries the three point stance, but it misses and Andre pins him with the ropes at 9:20. I’ve heard they had some surprisingly great matches, but this was definitely not one of them. 3 for 5.
At Summerslam 88, Jim Duggan does a completely pointless interview segment with Brother Love, which was only because they wanted Ric Flair for the spot and couldn’t get him. And then we get a verbal rematch on Superstars shortly after, as Duggan guests on the Brother Love show and we get the setup for the Duggan-Bravo feud that sold out D-show armories and high schools around America. Bravo gets in Duggan’s face because he thinks that the USA and Duggan both stink, so Duggan responds with isolationist fervor and tells him to love it or leave it.
Flag match: Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Dino Bravo
From MSG, December 30 1988, as we save the worst for last, because DINO BRAVO IS THE WORST. Another nightmare commentary team, this time Rod Trongard, Hillbilly Jim and Lord Alfred Hayes. I’m pretty sure that commentary team calling a Jim Duggan v. Dino Bravo match that headlines a special episode of NXT 2.0 is a special circle of hell reserved for me in the afterlife, probably with a comment section accusing me of being biased towards AEW for all eternity. Bravo attacks to start and Duggan backdrops him and gets some patented CM Punk bodyslams to chase him out of the ring for some advice from Frenchy Martin. That advice? “I know a guy in Montreal who can get you some work if the wrestling thing doesn’t work out for you.” Well hopefully it’s on the up-and-up. Back in the ring, Duggan works the arm, but he puts his head down and gets booted. Bravo with an atomic drop while Jim goes into business for himself and talks about his feud with Rick Rude, because his mother taught him to be “respectful to the womenfolk.” I’m pretty sure they don’t like being called womenfolk. Maybe they did in 1988, I was still in high school then. Bravo with a chinlock and he slugs away in the corner, looking like one of those Hasbro wrestling figures where he throws punches by rotating his waist with no actual movement of his arms. Duggan fires back in the corner and gets a clothesline, as Bravo takes a bump by falling backwards like a mannequin, but Frenchy distracts Duggan and Bravo drops an elbow for two. Bravo with the SIDE SUPLEX OF DOOM but it only gets two because Duggan is in the ropes. Bravo of course thinks he’s won, but Frenchy comes in and hits Bravo with the flag by mistake and Duggan gets the pin at 7:30 and wins the right to fly his flag, bookending the tape with two flag match victories and two terrible matches. 3 for 6.
Not a great tape, but ABSOLUTELY go out of your way to watch the Race feud, and 1987 Slammys brawl if you’ve never seen it before, and the following Race match from MSG. Actually pretty much just that portion of the show and nothing else and you’re golden.