The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 10.05.85
OK, time for a cooldown rant, like the women’s battle royale after the cage match at All Out, because the blog was NUTS on Sunday and Monday and frankly my bank account needs a break from all the money that Tony Khan was pumping into it. Not only that, but I always insist on getting paid with the giant novelty cheques like Happy Gilmore and those things are a bitch to store. And since I’m fresh out of AWA to review, it’s back to Bill Watts!
For those not following as closely as I do, last week marked the entrance of Dick Slater as the new booker of the territory, replacing Bill Dundee, as he immediately brought in his nutcase BFF Buzz Sawyer and made sure we all knew who the coolest and best guys were. Hint: It’s them.
Taped from Shreveport, LA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joey Watts
Meanwhile, we get a SEXY video about Al Perez, as he does german suplexes and drives hot cars, but always makes sure to show his date a good time. But can he do an abdominal stretch? The video evidence appears to point to YES.
Wildcat Wendell Cooley & Al Perez v. Carl Styles & The Red Raider
For those who are watching and are confused about which jobber is which, the guy in the bright red bodysuit is the Red Raider. The champs double-team the Raider and slam him to start, but Styles comes in and pokes Cooley in the eye to take over briefly. But then Perez puts him away with the german suplex at 1:01. When exactly did a “belly to back suplex” become known as a “german suplex”, I wonder? Certainly not in any promotion owned by Bill Watts, I’ll tell you that! Good enough for a point, as I’m shocked that Perez and Cooley are still tag team champions at this point. 1 for1.
Jake Roberts v. El Corsario
Apparently Skandor Akbar has been kidnapped by the team of Jim Duggan and the Midnight Rider and is no longer in the territory, although I could be misinterpreting JR’s explanation of that. Jake works the arm and keeps him down with an armbar, but he goes for the DDT early and Corsario slips out and bails to escape that. Back in, the evil Puerto Rican ninja (this is definitely a character that needed to pick a lane) gets a cheapshot and takes over with some kicks before going to his own armbar. Jake is getting some MONSTER babyface reactions here, which I’m sure they could hear all the way in Connecticut. VINCE’S TALENT RAIDING SENSES ARE TINGLING! Corsario puts Jake down with a kick and goes to the dreaded Vulcan nerve pinch before beating on Jake with chops in the corner. Jake goes for the mask to escape before Corsario goes back to the armbar again while JR talks about how Jake ultimately is influenced by money in the end and isn’t afraid to take shortcuts. Well we’d certainly discover that by the end of the year. Jake fights back with a kneelift and makes the comeback, but Corsario uses a superkick, which Jake manages to block with his arm, and the short arm clothesline sets up the DDT at 6:28 to a monster pop. This was a pretty decent Snake v. Savio match. 2 for 2.
Last week, Ted Dibiase returns and bitches out Bob Sweetan for losing the tag team titles, but Sweetan immediately throws Dr. Death under the bus. But then he learns that snitches get stitches, which is another lesson I’m sure he learned rotting in prison later on, because Doc turns on him and teams up with Dibiase again. But then Sweetan steals a chair from them and makes his own comeback, cleaning house.
Ted Dibiase & Steve Williams v. Tony Falk & Pat Rose
Rose gets an UGLY hiptoss attempt on Doc as they both misfired on that one, so Williams backdrops him and brings in Dibiase for a back elbow. Dibiase hauls in Falk and gives him a vicious suplex, and Doc hits a lariat for one before picking him up. Back to Rose and Doc clobbers him as well, and then Doc goes to the top and Dibiase lifts Rose up with a suplex and Doc brings him down with an Oklahoma Stampede from the middle rope to finish at 2:11. WOW. What a squash! They MURDERED those poor fuckers! 3 for 3.
Eddie Gilbert joins us, complaining about getting overwhelmed by fan support because it’s so hard to be so good looking without women calling him all the time. Well I’d say the babyface run is done with. So he’s pretty sure everyone wants a piece of him, and he’s got a solution: A painting of him! Eddie’s buildup of this is hilarious, as he worries about everyone getting too worked up before he reveals the painting. And in fact, you can own the portrait, and all you have to do is write in with 25 words or less about why you deserve to win the painting. This feels like a job for King Haiku. Also that was some pure Memphis nonsense and I’m here for it.
Meanwhile, we get a video from a couple of years back, featuring Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer preparing for a match with Junkyard Dog at the time. JR quips that “no one would dispute that Sawyer is the #1 dog in wrestling now”.
Buzz Sawyer v. Broadway Joe
Buzz attacks Joe right away and hauls him to the middle rope for a powerslam to finish at 0:40. “That’s the most devastating powerslam I’ve ever seen in wrestling!” notes JR. See, because JYD is in the WWF now so he’s terrible. Well actually he was terrible but sour grapes are sour grapes. 3 for 4.
Dick Slater v. Richard Dunn
Slater hits Dunn with a kneelift and slugs away before dropping an elbow, and a double arm suplex finishes at 1:11. 3 for 5.
WHIP ON A POLE: Dutch Mantell & Bill Dundee v. The Fantastics
Dundee immediately makes a run for the pole and Rogers follows him up to stop him, so Dundee clings to the pole kicking at Rogers. Rogers flips around the pole and wins that battle, but Dutch pulls Rogers down to keep him from the whip. The Fantastics work on Dundee and Fulton runs for the whip now, but Dutch cuts him off. And then Rogers dives in and goes for the whip, but Dutch cuts him off as well and Rogers gets hung in the Tree of Woe. So Dutch climbs up on him, but Fulton brings him down and he climbs the pole, only for Dutch to pull him down. Fulton slugs Dundee down and climbs again, but Dutch cuts him off, and then Dundee goes for the pole and Fulton cuts him off and crotches him. I feel like they’re spending way too much with the pole climbing stuff. The whole match has been one guy sprinting up the pole and the other pulling him down. Finally the heels work on Fulton and double-team him to hopefully get the match going somewhere. Dundee climbs again and Fulton slams him off the top, but then Dutch runs up the pole and Rogers slams HIM off the top. And then Eddie Gilbert runs in, taking care of business himself by stealing the whip from the pole, and that’s a DQ at 6:21. This went NOWHERE but it was certainly energetic, I guess. 4 for 6. Gilbert and the heels put the boots to the Fantastics and then Eddie uses powder to blind Fulton and they WHIP him, whip him good, until Rogers makes the save with a chair.
Next week: Cooley and Perez defend the tag team titles against Dibiase & Dr. Death! We’ve only got a month left in the Network collection and it’s getting really good!