The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 10.17.12

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 10.17.12

Yes, I’ll get back to doing Observer Flashbacks again soon, leave me alone.

Hey, the current version of the show is getting really boring and not generating anything in terms of interest on the blog, so let’s go back to the 2012 stuff that they’re currently working towards emulating again! Last week when we left off, Seth Rollins beat “#1 contender” Michael McGillicutty to retain the NXT title for the first time, while CM Punk was there scouting people.

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Bryon Saxton & William Regal

Alex Riley v. Jinder Mahal

Oh great the Jinder push in NXT continues. Good thing he’ll never get that far up the card on the main roster, LOL.

Sorry, what?

He did WHAT?

Anyway, Regal rightly buries the crowd for being a bunch of “xenophobes” for chanting “USA” while Jinder takes A-Ry down with a wristlock. Riley gets that sweet armdrag action, apparently wanting to slow the pace down. Yeah, that’s what you gotta do, SLOW DOWN Jinder Mahal’s fast pace. More fun facts from Regal: Jinder is a lovely singer. Well maybe he should be in a band, LOL!

Sorry, what?

He did WHAT?

Man, the future is just so messed up. Jinder puts him down with a knee to the gut and drops him with a suplex onto the top rope for two. They do an awkward reversal, however, and Riley rolls him up for the pin at 3:56. Yeah this was pretty bad. 0 for 1. Jinder then lays him out with a high knee and puts him in the dreaded camel clutch afterwards, which is not quite as humiliating as submitting to Sheik Adnan’s abdominal stretch on the AWA shows but it’s WAY up there.

Trent? Barreta v. Jake Carter

Trent was doing the “Trent?” thing even back then, I guess. Once again for those in the cheap seats, Jake Carter is the son of Big Van Vader, doing a douchebag jock gimmick, although he didn’t last in the sport. Honestly he looks and acts more like the Miz than his father. Regal: “Jake Carter is the luckiest man alive because he takes his looks from his mother.” Mr. Regal is delightful. Also Regal: “Vader used to train Jake when he was 5 years old and wouldn’t take him to the playground unless he could do a certain number of pushups or what have you.” I feel like Mr. Regal might be exaggerating somewhat. They trade headlocks and Trent dives in with a bodypress, but he misses and clotheslines himself on the top rope. Carter takes over with a backdrop for two and slugs away in the corner, and that gets two. Carter drops a knee for two and goes to a chinlock, but Trent fights back with an enzuigiri and a running elbow in the corner (Regal: “Would you stop shaking your leg, Byron?”) but Carter puts him down with a lariat for two. They fight to the top and Trent elbows out of that and comes down with a corkscrew senton for two. Trent tries the running knee, but Jake takes him down with an overhead belly to belly for two and we get SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE. Trent hits him with the Daniel Bryan knee and gets the pin at 6:29, however. This was two super-green guys having a perfectly cromulent wrestling match. 1 for 2.

Damien Sandow v. Brandon Traven

Sandow gets a big reaction and does a funny promo about how George Washington would be disappointed in the ignoramuses in the audience, as his character was pretty effective early in the run before he became a complete clown. Traven was a Harley Race trainee who had a decent look, but never went anywhere in the WWE system and just ended up around the indies under various names. Traven tries for a headlock after Sandow runs away for a bit, but Sandow stomps him down and chokes away on the ropes to take over. Traven fights back for a bit and misses a dropkick, putting Sandow back in control again as he chokes away in the corner and goes to a chinlock. Regal actually explains the psychology of stalling and how he used it in his own career: “It’s like, you know your opponent isn’t going anywhere, so why not let the people see you in your finery?” Sandow puts him in a front chancery and you KNOW Regal is all about that, but Traven comes back with a sunset flip and a dropkick. He misses a knee, however, and Sandow pounds him with knees and takes him down with a legsweep before finishing with the arm trap neckbreaker at 6:05. The crowd wants one more time and goes nuts for Sandow, but of course he does not give them what they want and even denies them a celebratory cartwheel. I’ll call it good enough for a point. 2 for 3.

RAW REBOUND: CM Punk refuses to choose his challenger for Hell in a Cell, so John Cena steps aside so that Ryback gets the title shot. That was a match they never should have made, as they wanted to cash in on Ryback’s rising popularity but didn’t want to put him over, and completely booked themselves into a corner as a result.

The Ascension & Kassius Ohno v. Richie Steamboat & The Usos

Oh boy, more Ascension v. Usos, which is like the fourth or fifth time they’ve met since this iteration of NXT began. We’ve had tag team matches, singles matches, and now a trios match with other partners. The babyfaces work on Cameron’s arm to start, but Steamboat comes in and gets taken to the heel corner, where Ohno runs away from Steamboat. Connor O’Brien comes in and beats on Jey, but he tries a headbutt and it only results in dancing. So O’Brien takes him down with a bodyscissors and hauls him back to the heel corner. We take a break from this excitement and return with Jey still getting clubbed in the corner for the “heat” as the crowd dozes between chinlocks. Jey tries to fight out of a facelock and gets hauled back to the corner again for more plodding offense from the Ascension, but Jey rolls up O’Brien for two. Cameron comes in and Jey gets a backslide for two, but they cut him off AGAIN and it’s back to the heel corner for more stomps. And choking. Can’t forget the choking. Jey fights back again and finally makes the hot tag after 10 minutes of heat and Richie comes in and runs wild on Ohno. Superkick gets two. Richie just didn’t have that babyface fire that his father did. Usos dive onto the Ascension, but Ohno hits Steamboat with the forearm to the back of the head and pins him at 14:40. These guys just keep going round and round with each other in the same spot. 2 for 4.

I wouldn’t call this episode “bad” but it advanced nothing and presented nothing new, so it’s absolutely skippable.