The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 02.13.93

The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 02.13.93

Oh man, Gamestop sent me a SPECIAL BIRTHDAY COUPON for 20% off a used game! If I buy another used game. Don’t be jealous of how special I am. I’m gonna run right out and take advantage of that awesome deal, don’t you worry. I don’t even know how they stay in business when they’re practically giving away money like that!

Taped from Atlanta, GA, as we begin the post-Watts era for the company.

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Larry Zbyszko

Meanwhile, Barry Windham and Paul Orndorff speculate about who Dustin’s mystery partner is going to be tonight. Paul is pretty sure that it’s going to be Dusty, which was indeed the prevailing theory at the time.

Shane Douglas & Ricky Steamboat v. Joe Cruz & Fred Avery

Yes indeed, we learn that Ricky is a FAMILY MAN via his entrance music. Of course his ex-wives would not necessarily agree with that. Steamboat works on Avery with an armbar to start, and Douglas comes in with more of that. Douglas is still selling a knee injury from something that happened at the Omni, because of course whatever happens there is the only thing of any importance to this company. Steamboat quickly goes up and finishes Cruz with the flying bodypress at 1:34. They’re not working by the hour tonight. 0 for 1.

Meanwhile, Dustin has his mystery partner, and it’s someone smoking a cigar under a bedsheet. Well that could be ANYONE!

Gordon Solie joins JR to discuss the showdown between Jim Cornette and the Rock N Roll Express last week, and we get clips of that and the ensuing match and heel beatdown. So apparently this is going to lead to SMW commissioner Bob Armstrong having a message for Cornette on the Main Event. Well that told us nothing.

Big Van Vader v. Rick Thames

Vader just knocks Thames on his ass with a right and picks him up for a samoan drop, and then goes up and hits him with the Vader bomb before finishing with a powerbomb at 1:05. Oddly, Vader was not wearing his gloves here, which made him look somewhat off. And afterwards, they put facepaint on the jobber and then whip him with a strap to send a message to Sting about fearing the White Castle. 1 for 2.

Stunning Steve Austin v. Marcus Alexander Bagwell

This is a 10 minute challenge, so if Austin can’t beat Bagwell in 10:00, he loses. Austin has weird blue and black trunks here, which I’ve never seen him wear before. Brian Pillman joins JR on commentary for this, stemming from Bagwell upsetting him on Worldwide. Bagwell takes Austin down and Steve claims a hairpull, back when he had hair to pull, and then gets a cheapshot to the gut and takes Bagwell down with a facelock. Bagwell reverses to a suplex for two and bails to the floor to burn some time. Back in, Bagwell gets a headlock takedown as JR notes that Austin is perhaps not taking this challenge as seriously as he should. Perish the thought. JR points out that Bagwell won the prestigious WCW Rookie of the Year award. What was his competition, Erik Watts? Not exactly a cutting edge field of future World champions in 1992. Austin puts Bagwell down with a suplex for two as they put a clock on the screen, and I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but THEY MANAGE TO GET THE TIME EXACTLY RIGHT. I would have thought they’d forget to adjust for Daylight Savings or run the clock backwards or something. Bagwell gets a rollup for two and a slam for two before going to the chinlock, but Bagwell elbows out and then runs to the floor to burn more time while Pillman is freaking out on commentary and calling him a coward. Austin chases him around the floor and Bagwell actually catches him with a cheapshot on the way in and makes the comeback, elbowing Austin down for two. “Oh now he wants to play hero after suckering him with a cheapshot in the ropes!” says Pillman. He’s got a point. Austin tries to put him away with time running out and gets a slam for two and a gut wrench for two, but Bagwell is in the ropes and time expires at 10:00 to give Marcus the win. A simple storyline and simple match, which is why it worked. 2 for 3.

SUPERBRAWL III REPORT! WITH ERIC BISCHOFF!

The big news this week is that Austin & Pillman will now face the PWI and WCW Magazine Rookies of the Year, Erik Watts & Marcus Alexander Bagwell. Apter actually gave that award to ERIK WATTS?!? Also the Rock N Roll Express are facing some team called “The Wrecking Crew” who I only vaguely remember, but that ended up being changed to the Heavenly Bodies by the time the show came around. Every time they do the card rundown it makes me want to watch the show again, it was easily one of the best WCW PPVs of all time.

Barry Windham & Paul Orndorff v. Dustin Rhodes & Cactus Jack

Well that’s pretty far from Dusty Rhodes. Jack bursts out of the bedsheet and attacks Paul to start, beating on him in the corner and chasing him out of the ring as the crowd goes crazy for this. Back in, Orndorff goes on offense this time and beats on Jack in the corner, but Cactus runs him in the turnbuckles and goes to a headlock. Orndorff escapes and does a dropdown, so Jack legdrops him as we take a break. Back with Dustin working on the arm and Barry comes in, so Dustin slugs away in the corner and it’s over to Cactus. Windham hits him with a back suplex and tosses him to the floor, where Orndorff basically rams the back of Jack’s head into the concrete. I’d say the worst bump we’d see Jack take in 93, but we know that’s not true, sadly. Back in, Orndorff puts the boots to Jack in the corner and Windham comes in with a standing dropkick. Jack fights back and makes the hot tag to Dustin and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. Dustin hits Barry with a lariat for two while Orndorff battles Cactus on the floor and Jack takes another sick bump off a hiptoss, and Dustin bulldogs Barry for two before Orndorff dives in to save. So then Jack brings a snow shovel into the ring and cleans house, and that’s a pretty blatant DQ at 9:52. And then Jack whispers sweet nothings to the shovel afterwards. A very fun match! 3 for 4.

The Wrecking Crew join us for words with JR, and now I remember them. Rage and Fury, which is appropriate because they both suffer from a very specific type of rage if you smell what the Rock is cookin’. Rage was Al Green, aka the other guy in the Master Blasters with Kevin Nash, and Fury was Animal’s other brother Marc. A real pair of winners.

The Z-Man & Johnny Gunn v. Ali Pasha & Bob Cook

Geez, did Billy Gunn have ANOTHER kid? The babyfaces toss Cook and Gunn finishes Pasha with the Thesz Press at 1:40 as we wrap up this very short episode with a very short match.

And we finish with that footage from the Omni that was promised, which was about 5 seconds of Shane Douglas tripping in the aisle, as Jim Ross promises that we’ll see more on the Main Event, and WE’RE OUT OF TIME.

Liking this era much better already. Obviously we know where things end up by the middle of the year but at this point it feels fresh and exciting again.