The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 02.06.93
By Scott Keith on 7th August 2021
The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 02.06.93
So this is a special request from a Patreon subscriber, and if you too would like the ability to influence my ranting decisions by requesting something, head on over to the PATREON OF DOOM at www.patreon.com/blogofdoom and see if it’s something that interests you. I actually posted the Summerslam 91 redo a few days early for Patrons, and you get instant access to the Rant Archives as a part of the Montreal Tier.
To be honest I might just carry on from here anyway because 92 is a slog under Bill Watts and this way we get to the Bischoff era right away. In fact this is the last show under Bill Watts, as he resigns from the company on 02/10 and Bischoff replaces him.
Taped from Atlanta, GA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Larry Zbyszko
The Hollywood Blonds v. Johnny B. Badd & 2 Cold Scorpio
Oddly we get the full Scorpio theme intact here. To clarify, Pillman and Austin are not named the Blonds at this point and don’t even have matching tights, but it’s them. Scorpio takes Pillman down with a hiptoss, and Brian complains about various rules that were broken and then attacks Scorp from behind. They trade leapfrogs and Scorpio dropkicks him to the floor, but Pillman evades a dive and then makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate his intelligence. And of course, that allows Scorpio to dive onto him. Badd comes in and Austin immediately clobbers him, however, and the Blonds take over. Austin slugs away in the corner, but Badd hits him with a lariat for two. Scorpio comes in, but Austin takes the ref and Pillman suplexes Scorp from the inside to the concrete floor, where there are no pretty blue mats! That’s a hell of a bump. Back in, Pillman goes to work on Scorpio, but he comes back with a crossbody for two, so Pillman traps him in the corner again and the Blonds puts the boots to him. Austin slugs it out with him, but Scorpio hits a spinkick out of the corner to put him down and it’s HOT TAG Johnny B. Badd. Badd’s a hell of a hot tag and he runs wild with dropkicks and backdrops Pillman, then goes up with a sunset flip for two. The ref gets distracted by 2 Cold, allowing Austin to hit Badd with an international object of some kind from the floor and Pillman rolls him up for the pin at 6:15. Crazy good opener. 1 for 1.
Meanwhile, Barry Windham does not feel bad for whipping Sting like a dog last week. Also, his bangs are ON FLEEK, as the kids say.
Meanwhile, Sting points out that no one, NOT EVEN HIS FATHER, ever took a leather strap to him before, so now Vader is gonna take a strapping at Superbrawl III regardless of any White Castles of Fear. Also they’re facing off tomorrow at 3:00 in the afternoon at the Omni for the World title, so maybe Sting will just win the belt THERE first. Spoiler: He doesn’t.
Steve Regal v. Bob Cook
Yes, it’s the American wrestling debut of smiling babyface Steven Regal! Man, if there was ever a gimmick that needed an immediate retool, it’s that one. Regal takes Cook into the corner and hits him with an elbow and then takes him down with a crossface. Cook puts him down with his legendary punches to take over and slugs away in the corner, but Regal puts the boots to him and gets a hiptoss and dropkick before finishing with a powerslam at 1:55. Fun squash! 2 for 2.
Meanwhile, Tony Schiavone chats with Erik Watts and we get a replay of Arn Anderson attacking Watts as a gas station in a legendary piece of garbage where Watts puts Arn in an STF in what was supposed to be a literal street fight. Watts in his Canadian tuxedo and fanny pack should have been made World champion literally the next day with that kind of star power.
Ron Simmons v. Mike Thor
Oh yeah, DON’T STEP TO RON. I guess they must have the rights to Slam Jam this week. Ron beats on Thor in the corner with headbutts and then puts him down with a fameasser of all things. Powerslam finishes at 1:04. Simmons was supposed to challenge Dustin Rhodes for the US title at Superbrawl but ended up getting injured.
Next week: The World TV title tournament begins! Who’s that “Robby V” geek in the Anderson Conference?
Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies invade the show at this point, interrupting Jim Ross’s interview segment. So Cornette calls out Bill Watts (“Is he busy riding a horse? Come out here, Marshall Dillon!”) and Bill comes out while Cornette continues ranting. Jim points out that he and Stan Lane walked out two years ago because they were being made to look like idiots, and formed Smoky Mountain Wrestling. And then he turns on WCW TV and sees Watts showing footage of the Rock N Roll Express beating them last week! So Cornette called Bobby Eaton (RIP) and brought him to SMW as well, and if Bill doesn’t do something he’ll be forced to resign in shame and go swab toilets in CNN Center. So Watts notes that Cornette can run his mouth but his words don’t carry weight, although Cornette himself carries weight because he’s “egg shaped”. Cornette: “You should have the Rock N Roll Express arrested for murder because they came out last week and killed your ratings!” That’s a great line. So the RNR come out and threaten a brawl over that slander, and Bill Watts tells them all to go HOOK ‘EM UP. Cornette: “We’re not scared, we’re just not dressed!” Watts: “You’re not dressed too well anyway.” So apparently it’s on.
The Rock N Roll Express v. The Heavenly Bodies
So they’re all in street clothes and the RNR do stereo slams on Lane and Prichard and run them together with atomic drops, and Morton slugs away on Dr. Tom. Monkey flip and Ricky backdrops him out of the corner and Gibson follows with a kneelift and now they double-team Stan Lane before Robert gets a flying headscissors and Morton hits Tom with a rana. The Bodies get piled int the corner and whipped into each other, and poor Bobby gets nailed as well and then Morton rams Bobby and Cornette together for good measure. Lane and Prichard collide on the apron, but Lane catapults Ricky to the floor in a great bump and Eaton gets revenge by running him into the post before Cornette nails him with the racket. Back in, Lane with a sideslam into a Prichard elbow for two and they follow with a version of the Rockerplex. Double elbow to the gut and double choking from the Bodies and Lane gets a Russian legsweep as they’re all having a ball out there. Morton comes back on Prichard and it’s HOT TAG Robert as the crowd is going nuts, but Lane backdrops him over the top behind the ref’s back. But he comes back in with a double dropkick on Dr. Tom, and Bobby runs in for the DQ at 6:10. And then Lane and Eaton reunite to destroy Morton with a Veg-O-Matic for old time’s sake! The Bodies continue to destroy Morton as even young Robby V is unable to make the save, and we go to break with the babyfaces laid out and chaos ensuing. 3 for 3, DUH.
Meanwhile, Gordon Solie wants to get into the mind of Cactus Jack and find out why he wants to attack people with shovels! Jack notes that it’s a free country and also nothing is going through his mind. Jack isn’t sure he wants to be a role model and World champion because bouncing 300 pounds off a concrete floor doesn’t necessarily give you the credentials.
Brad Armstrong v. Maxx Payne
Early on for Maxx in his initial push, before he had the guitar and rock star gear. Armstrong manages to get a hiptoss, but Payne beats him down and slams him. Elbow misses and Brad comes back with dropkicks, but Payne clotheslines him and finishes with the Payne-Killer armbar at 1:28. Meh. 3 for 4.
Tex Slazenger & Shanghai Pierce v. The Z-Man & Johnny Gunn
Zenk takes Pierce down with a headscissors to start, and follows with an armbar, and Gunn comes in to work on Tex’s arm. Things I don’t understand at this moment: His real name is Tom Brandi, so wouldn’t it have been a better name to call him Tommy Gunn? The cowboys double-team Gunn to take over and Tex gets an impressive high kick on Gunn and a double clothesline, but Zenk gets the hot tag as the crowd is clearly cheering for the Texicans. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and Zenk gets a rollup on Pierce, but Tex throws him over the top for the DQ at 4:20. So this feud MUST CONTINUE and will probably headline armories all over the southern states. Good match, though. 4 for 5.
Meanwhile, Vader notes that the whoopin’ delivered to Sting last week is only a small taste of the whoopin’ he’ll be getting at Superbrawl.
Sting v. Barry Windham
Sting immediately hits Windham with a hiptoss and chases him to the floor, but Barry thumbs him in the eye and they fight over a suplex in the ring. Sting wins that battle but Windham beats on him in the corner to take over. Backdrop suplex, but Sting no-sells it and fights back with chops and a backdrop. Elbow gets two. Stinger splash misses and Windham goes up with a flying clothesline and drops an elbow for two. Barry goes to work in the corner and slugs away on him, and follows with the floatover suplex for two. Windham throws him out and they fight on the floor, before Barry chokes him out in the ring again. Sting fights back with a suplex, but Barry clobbers him down again and follows with a DDT for two. Windham with the sleeper and he uses the ropes, but the ref catches him and forces the break. Backdrop suplex and Windham drops a knee for two and follows with a gutwrench for two. Windham goes to finish with the superplex, but Sting fights out of it and hits the flying clothesline to make the comeback. Ref gets bumped and Barry lands on the floor, so Harley Race brings Barry the strap, and Sting steals it and clotheslines him with it for the pin at 9:34. And then it gets dark as Sting tries to hang Barry, which leads to a reversed decision as we wrap it up for the week. Good enough for a point. 5 for 6.
Great show this week, and yeah, I’m skipping forward from 92 to here now, I think. This has much more interesting stuff going on and we miss the entire Ron Simmons title reign as a bonus.