The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground – S01E29
“Fight to the Death”
Hey, I’m on vacation with nothing going on, so here’s a BONUS RANT on a Thursday night before tomorrow morning’s Superstars rant.
Taped from the Temple
Your hosts are Matt Striker & Vampiro
Meanwhile, Black Lotus meets up with Chavo Guerrero, and Chavo also wants revenge against the people who killed her parents, so it’s time for a TEAM-UP!
Aerostar v. Johnny Mundo
The announcers make an interesting point, in that Aerostar is better off for losing the best-of-5 series against Drago because he still has a job and Drago ended up getting fired after losing his title match. Mundo is coming off his legalized murder of Alberto el Patron, turning himself mega-heel in the process. Mundo beats Aerostar down and puts the boots to him on the ropes, which is exactly the kind of thing that Vampiro appreciates. Aerostar comes back with a spinning headscissors to take him down and hits a 619 and springboard splash for two. Johnny takes him to the apron and chokes him out, but Aerostar escapes and hits him with a dive. Back in, Mundo gets a questionable shot to the lower body and slugs away on the mat with forearms. That gets two. Johnny moves into an Anaconda Vice, but Aerostar escapes and reverses for two. Mundo with a backbreaker for two and he tries to finish, but Aerostar brings him down from the top and makes a comeback. He goes for a DDT and Johnny hits him with a northern lights suplex and follows with the End of the World to finish at 6:33. This felt a little bit plodding at times. **1/2
Meanwhile, Vampiro sits down with Sexy Star, wondering if she’s afraid of what will happen when Pentagon gets his hands on her. Also, she doesn’t talk to her former friend Super Fly anymore, since he lost his mask to her and then had his arm broken by Pentagon.
Lucha Underground title: Prince Puma v. Hernandez
Puma tries for a rana right away and Hernandez drops him on the mat, so Puma dropkicks him and chases him to the floor. Puma fakes a dive and does some gymnastics instead, but Hernandez slingshots in with a shoulderblock and a senton. Springboard bodypress gets two while Konnan demands that he finish the match, but Hernandez beats on him with chops in the corner to take over. Hernandez chokes him out on the ropes and TAKE A DRINK because Vampiro takes a cheapshot on Konnan on commentary. Hernandez with a senton and Puma tries a sunset flip, but Hernandez blocks and pantomimes checking his watch in boredom before throwing Puma around the ring for two. Hernandez with a backbreaker submission and he drops Puma for two. Puma comes back with a bodypress, but Hernandez drops him with a powerbomb for two. How do you say “shocked two count face” in Spanish? Hernandez bullies him to the floor with a shoulder tackle and goes after Konnan, so Puma grabs a chair and smashes Hernandez in the face to block a tope con hilo. Hernandez is up, so Puma hits him with the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP and they slug it out on the floor. Hernandez hits him with an apron bomb and then tries another powerbomb into the railing, but Puma pops up onto the balcony and dives off onto him in an incredible spot. This Ricochet is pretty good. Pretty, pretty good. Back in, Puma with a springboard 450 and that gets two. To the top, but the 630 misses and Hernandez hits the Border Toss for two and we get another SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE. Another try is reversed to a sunset flip, but they’re in the ropes. Puma tries a bulldog and Hernandez reverses to a powerslam and goes up with a flying splash, but that hits knee. Puma comes back with a pair of head kicks for two off that. Puma goes up again and Hernandez brings him down, so Puma hits him with kicks from the top and that sets up the 630 to finish at 12:40 and Puma retains. Incredible performance from Puma as he bounced off the bigger guy and then beat him. ****
DEATH MATCH: Fenix v. Mil Muertes
Muertes now has his own crew of skull-masked heavies, which I’m assuming was some kind of re-signing bonus when he returned from the dead. I believe they were later known as the Disciples of Death. Fenix tries a dive and gets laid out in mid-air, and Mil beats him down and puts the boots to him. Back in, Mil chops him down in the corner and follows with a powerslam before tossing him into the corner. Fenix tries some kicks and Mil blocks it and slams him with a uranage. He goes up and Fenix brings him down and ropewalks into a dropkick that puts Mil on the floor, setting him up for a springboard moonsault out there. But Mil just pops up again as Striker notes that if it was a video game, his power meter would still be green. Nerd. Mil beats on Fenix with a chair because this is no DQ, and then smashes his face into the railing a bunch of times until Fenix fights back with kicks and then climbs the wall to deliver a flying meteora off the mini-balcony. Back in, that gets two. Fenix fights back with more kicks, but Mil hurls him over the top and to the floor and then follows with his OWN dive. That’s a very large person to be diving onto the floor. They fight to the desk and Mil beats on him with another chair and then runs the stairs with Fenix on his back and takes him to the upper stage. Oh that’s not good. And indeed, Muertes powerbombs him onto the roof of a storage room and down through to the floor underneath. That was particularly awesome because the bump looked great visually, but he could take a bump onto a crash pad below and you’d never know it because it was behind a closed door. So we take a break and return with the disciples retrieving Fenix’s lifeless body and bringing him into the ring for a Flatliner to finish at 11:09. Well I should hope so. This was something else. ****
Meanwhile, Dario Cueto has had ENOUGH of the Crew and their failures, so he tells them to pick one of the three and feed him to the caged monster MATANZA, resulting in poor Bael getting (checks notes) eaten alive on a pro wrestling program. Well, that’s not something you’d ever see on RAW, you have to give them that. Not often bookers play the cannibal card.
HELL OF A SHOW.