The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 09.07.85
Taped from Shreveport, LA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Joel Watts
BREAKING NEWS: Terry Taylor has left Mid-South and moved to the “NWA territory” full time in order to chase Ric Flair for the World title, but they wish him well and hope to see him back someday. Specifically Taylor had jumped to Mid-Atlantic and won the National title from Black Bart around this time, but he would indeed be back later.
LAST WEEK: The young babyface team of Wendell Cooley & Al Perez score a shocking upset on Dr. Death and Dr. Molester and win the Mid-South tag team titles!
Meanwhile, Jim Ross chats with Akbar’s new team of One Man Gang and Kareem Muhammad, which might contend for one of the worst combinations in wrestling history. Regardless, they get a title shot at the new champions this week. Speaking of which, Jim also chats with the new champions and they do a dull white-meat babyface promo that shows why Perez needed Gary Hart to get over in Texas.
Mid-South Tag team title: Wendell Cooley & Al Perez v. One Man Gang & Kareem Muhammad
Perez takes Kareem down with an armdrag, as thankfully they’re not calling him “Zambuie Express” as a nickname anymore. Gang comes in and misses an elbow as JR is waiting to see a donnybrook. Over to Cooley and he hits Kareem with a dropkick, but Gang beats on Cooley with the clubbing forearms and the heels work him over in their corner as JR notes that this is TV time remaining. Can you even imagine the horror of One Man Gang going 45 minutes to a draw here? I’ll be shocked if they make it to the next commercial break without Kareem keeling over. Gang misses a splash and he’s done, so Perez gets the hot tag and runs wild before turning his back on Muhammad and getting splashed. So they drag Perez back to the corner and Gang goes up to the middle rope, but splashes his own partner by mistake and Perez rolls on top for the pin at 5:25. A total “slip on a banana peel” finish as it seemed likely the title run wasn’t going to last long. However, a quick check reveals that, no, they ended up giving it the old college try with them after all. And then Gang and Kareem fight over the loss, or the last piece of pie, whatever, and leave in different directions. 0 for 1.
Jake Roberts v. The Nightmare
The Nightmare continues falling down the card rapidly here. Jake goes for the DDT right away and Nightmare bails. Things I learned from Twitter today: Polio vaccines were actually a deep state coverup hoax for something involving the government spraying the American population with DDT for some reason, and in fact polio was never a real disease to begin with and disappeared as soon as DDT was taken off the market. How could I have been so blind to the obvious truth all along? Back in the ring, Nightmare works the arm, but Jake retaliates with a pull of the mask, since the hair was inaccessible. Jake goes for the DDT again, but Nightmare slugs away in the corner and whips Jake into the turnbuckles to work on the back. To the bearhug, but Jake undoes the mask to escape and Nightmare has to regroup and goes to the eyes. Jake catches him with the kneelift, but Nightmare loads up the mask and headbutts Jake NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THRICE, which brings out Eddie Gilbert to protest this grave injustice. Oh man, babyface Eddie Gilbert, save me Jebus. Nightmare unloads the object with Humperdink, but Jake pops up and hits the DDT for the pin at 4:43. And with Nightmare out, Jake finally unmasks the big goof and we learn what we all figured out weeks ago: It’s big stupid Moondog Rex / Randy Cooley / Deadeye Dick. Humongous comes in to go after Jake and Barbarian makes the save…and then TURNS ON ROBERTS?!? Holy shit, Bill Watts can still get it done. Well played, you magnificent redneck, I didn’t see that one coming at all.
So Barbarian and Humongous double-team Roberts as Humperdink’s new team and beat the shit out of Jake while Nightmare slinks away. A GREAT angle that had the crowd absolutely in shock. 1 for 2.
Humongous is featured in a music video as he terrorizes innocent steel workers and we get a montage of his crappy wrestling matches to what sounds like a ripoff of the Doom soundtrack. I’m curious what they were using here that had to be cut out.
Humongous v. Mike Thorn
Humongous uses his clubbing forearms and bodyslams and then finishes with the shinnon…shinana…cobra clutch at 1:10. 1 for 3.
Dutch Mantell & Bill Dundee v. Mark Ragin & Jimmy Backlund
I thought Dundee was gone by now but apparently he’s still around and pulling out a few booking tricks this week. The heels double-team Ragin’s arm to start and then Dundee beats Backlund down and Dutch drops elbows on the future legend of the sport, Jimmy Graffiti. You probably wouldn’t recognize him without his hip WCW attire. Dutch quickly puts him away with the gourdbuster at 2:23. 1 for 4.
Eddie Gilbert v. El Corsario
Before the match, Corsario demonstrates his awesome Puerto Rican martial arts by breaking a board, but before he can do the deed, he turns around and kicks Gilbert in the face instead and then chokes him out at 0:23 while Eddie bleeds from the mouth. Again, Eddie Gilbert as a babyface is NO BUYS. Beating the hell out of Gilbert and expecting to build sympathy for him is a fool’s errand. Thankfully they slot him into that Bill Dundee spot shortly and correct the course drastically. 1 for 5.
The Fantastics v. Dr. Death & Bob Sweetan
The Fantastics clean house right away to start and send the heels crashing into each other and the heels regroup. Bill Dundee joins us at ringside to continue antagonizing the Fantastics, as Fulton takes Doc down with a headlock and dropkicks him again. Sweetan catches Fulton in the corner and goes to work on him, and Doc hits the Oklahoma Stampede for two. Fulton fights back and Doc misses an elbow, and Sweetan comes in and cuts off the tag. More punishment for Fulton, but he catches Williams with a headscissors in the corner and makes the hot tag to Tommy Rogers. The ref is bumped and Dundee attacks Rogers on the floor, but Tommy hits him with a forearm to knock him off the apron, allowing Williams to load up the arm brace and knock him out at 5:57 for the pin. Disappointing but serviceable. 2 for 6.
The score is a bit deceptive this week because this was a hell of a show with a GIANT shock angle in the middle and everything else was just gravy.