The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S01E25
“The Way of the Drago”
TONIGHT! Drago gets his shot at the Lucha Underground title, but if he loses, he’s banned from the Temple FOREVER. Well I can see where they stole that idea for Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns from.
Dario Cueto decides to motivate the Crew after their pathetic loss last week, locking them in a room with his brother, and promising that another failure means they can apologize to HIM. And we get this awesome ominous shadow and growl from the other side of the cage where Dario’s brother is kept.
Fenix v. Killshot
They trade wristlock reversals to start and Fenix dropkicks him out of the ring and teases a dive before hitting a rana off the apron instead. Back in, Killshot quickly tosses Fenix and follows with his own dive. Back in, they each miss a bodypress, which was weird, and Fenix tries a tornado DDT and Killshot reverses to a northern lights suplex for two. Meanwhile Vampiro marvels at everyone wearing Japanese-style kickpads and tattoos and declares that it’s FRESH. Fenix hits the rolling cutter and both guys are down. Killshot comes back with a lungblower for two. And then some guy in the crowd yells “Hit in the target, Fenix!”, in reference to the literal target on Killshot’s mask, so Fenix KICKS HIM IN THE TARGET! Tremendous. Fenix gets another kick out of the corner, but he goes up and Killshot brings him down with a german suplex, only for Fenix to land on his feet. So Killshot hits him with a spinkick and goes up, but now Fenix brings him down awkwardly into a Thunder Fire Driver to finish at 5:51. We know Swerve Scott is pretty great and so is Fenix, but this was all over the place and they missed a bunch of stuff. Still fun, though. **1/4
Dario Cueto continues his motivational tour, building up Drago for his title match tonight, as he has full confidence in Drago’s ability to not die later on. You always like to hear that from your higher-ups.
Dario Cueto is still building up his talent, and now he’s taking the OTHER side, telling Prince Puma to stop being such a baby and go out there and kill Drago because otherwise he doesn’t deserve to be champion. But then Hernandez confronts him about getting put in a match tonight when he didn’t want it, and Cueto has this great moment of uncertainty where he’s not sure how to deal with someone directly confronting him, but then you can see the wheels in his head turning and he suddenly regains his confidence, going back into slimy promoter mode, and offers Hernandez the #1 contendership if he wins the three-way, thus regaining the advantage of the situation. WHY DOES WWE NOT HIRE THIS GUY?
Famous B v. Ricky Mandel v. Vinny Massaro v. Argenis
Well this is random. The idea here is that all of the guys had their arm broken by Pentagon and this is their chance at redemption, but it doesn’t matter because Texano immediately runs in and kills them all for the DQ. And of course the crowd cheers him like crazy. And then he throws out an open challenge to come and get the beating of a lifetime. Well that doesn’t sound appealing. What’s supposed to be in it for the other guy?
Dario Cueto goes outside for a phone call, and meets goofy superfan MARTY THE MOTH, who is desperately wanting a shot at the Temple. Dario thanks him for the love but doesn’t think he can make it and keeps him locked out. He also offers an autograph, as long as Marty goes online and orders it from the website. Dario is just killing it here.
#1 Contender match: Hernandez v. King Cuerno v. Cage
Cage and Cuerno immediately stomp Hernandez down and then turn on each other to trade rollups for two. Cage puts Cuerno down with a clothesline while Hernandez wisely watches from the floor, but then he charges back in and walks into a double superkick. Cage and Cuerno put him down with clotheslines, but Cage hits Cuerno with a german suplex out of the corner, before Hernandez fights back with a slingshot clothesline on both guys. Vampiro: “The only bad thing about Hernandez is that he’s friends with Konnan.” Take a drink for Vamp burying K-Dog. Cage and Cuerno double-team Hernandez with a version of 3D, but can’t agree on who gets the pin. So they allow Hernandez to fire up again wit a big boot on Cage and samoan drop on Cuerno, but MARTY THE MOTH manages to run in, declares himself, and then gets thrown out again in a funny spot. This allows Hernandez to toss Cage, hit a Dominator on Cuerno, and get the pin at 5:00 to win the #1 contender spot. This was a HOSS FIGHT and tons of fun. ***1/4
Vampiro sits down with the Trios champions after last week: Angelico, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc. Ivelisse claims credit as team captain as they argue about whether Angelico’s dive from the office into the ring was cool or not. FUCK YES IT WAS COOL. They all confirm that they might not like each other, but they fight together. And then argue about who actually was going to say that first.
Lucha Underground title: Prince Puma v. Drago
You wouldn’t think that Ricochet could have sunk lower than wearing a Puma head on the way to the ring, but he’s somehow managed to find a way with his WWE run. They trade backdrop attempts and reach a stalemate to start, and Drago puts him on the floor with a rana and follows with a spinning tope. Back in, Drago hits him with chops, but misses a charge, and that allows Puma to come back with a missile dropkick and then toss him and hit his own dive. Back in, that gets two as Vampiro pleads with Puma to stay away from Konnan. Puma does an amazing gymnastic slingshot splash for two, bouncing off the ropes like an Olympian on the uneven bars, and he gets a rollup for two. Drago fights out of the corner with a kick and puts Puma down with clotheslines and wraps him up with a double arm submission on the mat. Puma makes the ropes with the coaching of Konnan, however. Puma escapes a suplex and gets a backdrop suplex for two, and a standing moonsault gets two. Drago teases a GTS, but Puma lands on his feet, so Drago hits him with a series of kicks and a rana for two. They trade spinkicks and backfists and Puma puts him down with a Blue Thunder bomb for two. They slug it out and Puma hits him with an enzuigiri, but the ref is bumped and Drago gets a destroyer with no one to count. This brings Hernandez out and he spears Drago into the corner, although he seemed to be aiming for best friend Puma, and Konnan orders Puma to finish him off, which he does at 10:25 to retain. ***1/2 So Drago is now banished from the Temple FOREVER. And on the way out of the building, he runs into Dario Cueto, promising to meet again before disappearing into a fireball. Now that’s an exit.
Yeah this episode RULED. Gimme all that Dario evil.