“Good evening, wrestling fans, and welcome to your Thursday night destination. I’m Gorilla Monsoon alongside Bobby Heenan, ready to provide you with… Brain? What are you doing?”
“Just making sure the desk is secure. You never know when an earthquake might happen.”
“I appreciate the concern, Brain, but just because Japan had one doesn’t mean we will.”
“Are you sure? I heard Bossman’s mother is on the treadmill in the gym upstairs!”
“You’re just asking for trouble, aren’t you? Folks, a top story coming up is that Impact Wrestling is adjusting their schedule. Soon, here on Thursday Prime Time, we’ll be able to bring you a preview for Impact Wrestling along with our usual preview of shows around the country!”
“Think about it, Monsoon! SmackDown Friday, Impact Thursday, Dynamite Wednesday, NXT Tuesday, and the real show on Monday — AEW Elevation!”
“Well, there’s also Monday Night Raw, NWA may be making a comeback, Beyond runs shows on Thursdays. Today’s a great time for wrestling.”
“So many choices, the humanoids’ heads may explode!”
“Can you imagine if the World Wrestling Federation had shows every day in our time?”
“Who’d want five days of Roddy Piper running around in a skirt?”
“I’m sorry I asked. Folks, Sunday night on IWTV, DC’s pride promotion, Butch vs Gore, is presenting the Cassandro Cup. Seven wrestlers take part in a single-elimination tournament, where the winner will get a shot at Independent Wrestling Champion Lee Moriarty. Plus, a huge two-out-of-three-falls match between Billy Dixon and Darius Carter.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s the future. I wanna get you to today’s feature bout, which has my favorite wrestler and a man after my own heart, Maxwell Jacob Friedman!”
“All right, Brain — here he is from Chicago taking on one-half of the Impact tag champions, Juice Robinson!”
“Look at how menacing he can be! He’s ready to do a number of Juice like Nailz will do on the Bossman!”
“Don’t go there, Brain!”
(Bring the insanity!)