The SmarK Rant for WCW Saturday Night – 06.27.92
I dunno, just felt like going back to these tonight since apparently I’ve been on a break from them since August. This is the third week of the Bill Watts regime, for those keeping track.
Taped from Atlanta, GA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Michael Hayes
Stunning Steve Austin v. Joey Maggs
So Austin has regained the WCW TV title from Barry Windham, but for some reason Paul E is carrying around an old Six-Man title instead of the TV belt. Knowing this company someone probably got drunk and lost it in a steakhouse. Austin boots Maggs and gets a backslide for two and then puts him down and drops knees on the neck before following with a short clothesline and dropping him on the top rope for two. Austin uses some snapmares and a kneelift, and then finishes with the Stungun at 1:53. They were both out of position on that finisher.
Meanwhile, at the Clash of Champions, an alleged car wreck takes out the alleged Puerto Rican team, leaving Doc & Gordy with a bye, so Bill Watts demands that they HOOK ‘EM UP with the Steiners. And hook ‘em up they do, although the results are a disappointingly dull match with the heels going over in a mess of a finish.
Meanwhile, Larry Zbsyzko gets kicked out of the Dangerous Alliance.
Larry Zbsyzko v. The Avenger
I don’t know anything about the Avenger, but in the UK he has to be billed as Avenger Assemble. Larry slams him and wraps him up in a submission hold on the mat, then switches to a stump puller for a bit and hangs the Avenger in the tree of woe. Funny how the crowd was raucously chanting for Larry during the entrances but now they’re completely dead. Larry with a neckbreaker and he finishes with a brainbuster at 2:22. Michael notes that no one does a better brainbuster than Larry. What about your PARTNER, you jerk? Afterwards, Larry chats with Jim Ross and promises to make Bobby Eaton so ugly that people will think he’s Paul E’s twin when all is said and done. Decent promo from Zbyszko but his career was basically over a month later.
Ron Simmons v. Bob Cook
Bob Cook unleashes his famous right hands in the corner, but Simmons faceplants him and Cook decides to offer a truce. But then Bob can’t resist slapping Ron, and Simmons hits him with a dropkick and beats on him with headbutts as Bob is learning the same lesson that everyone else does: DON’T STEP TO RON. Totally a thing all the kids are saying. Someone should make a song about it. Ron whips him around the ring and follows with a backdrop out of the corner and then finishes with the spinebuster at 2:28.
WCW Magazine! With your host Eric Bischoff!
Thankfully they’re down to only hyping one show at a time now, with the Great American Bash now being the only focus. So let’s take you back to an episode of WCW Worldwide, as Sting confronts Vader and they do a big slugfest until Vader decides to leave.
The Super Invader v. Chris Sullivan
Once again, Super Invader’s fashion forward look of pantyhose on his face with a headband over top is the difference between jobberdom and greatness. Which side it falls upon I leave as an exercise to you the reader. Invader gets some slams on Sullivan and follows with a high knee in the corner, and then finishes with a powerbomb at 2:02. I have no idea why they billed him from “Thailand” and then had him do nothing but generic power moves.
Harley Race and his Super Invader have words for Ron Simmons, but then walk off before Ron can come out and accept their challenge. Ron is all fired up and muffs his lines a couple of times, but gets across the point that he’s coming for the World title soon.
Terry the Taylor Made Rooster v. Dustin Rhodes
Taylor grabs a headlock, but Dustin takes him down with an armdrag as JR relates a story about how he was interviewing Taylor and Valentine and they had NO NICE THINGS to say about Dustin Rhodes. Really? Jim couldn’t even lob them a softball question about Dustin’s cool cowboy boots or something? They exchange elbows in the corner while JR notes that the fans are going to be REALLY HAPPY about the rules being stringently enforced now. Yeah because that’s what wrestling fans love. Did they have a focus group for that one, I wonder? Dustin keeps Taylor on the mat with armbars, really working on Taylor’s wing, and a backslide gets two. Rollup gets two. Taylor comes back with a gutwrench powerbomb for two and stomps him down in the corner, and a backbreaker gets two. Taylor puts him down with a jawbreaker for two. Taylor with a clothesline for two, but Dustin slugs him down for two and puts him down with the bionic elbows. Suplex gets two as Terry flies like a chicken out of the corner. Dustin with a lariat for two. Dustin with an atomic drop that he turns into a bridged german suplex for two. Jim Ross notes that Taylor has been “doing a lot of crowing” recently about beating Dustin. It’s only funny when I do it, Jim. Dustin misses a bodypress and necks himself on the top rope, and Taylor gets two from that. Scorpion Deathdrop gets two. But then Dustin bulldogs him out of nowhere and Greg Valentine runs in for the DQ at 8:55. Too bad, they were having a hell of a match there. ***1/2 Dustin gets double-teamed by the heels, but then color commentator Ron Simmons continues being all over this fucking show and makes the save.
Greg Valentine v. Mike Graham
Valentine and Taylor are both using generic entrance music that sounds like something out of an N64 wrestling game. They trade lockup attempts in the corner and Graham takes him down for an armbar, but Greg reverses to a backbreaker. So on commentary, Terry Taylor bitches about Dustin Rhodes, noting that he’s riding on Dusty’s coattails, and in fact his own father is a doctor and you don’t see HIM out there trying to deliver babies at 22! That’s a pretty good line. Valentine works on the neck with elbows, but Mike takes out the leg and goes to work on it, but Greg wants a chop battle and they slug it out in the corner until Greg rakes the eyes to win. Valentine with an elbow for two as JR calls him “Johnny” but in all fairness they were just talking about his father. Graham takes him down and hooks him in an Indian deathlock while Taylor continues slagging Dustin with more funny lines. “He had me in a headscissors and I told the ref to break it because I thought I was in the ropes, but it turns out it was just his skinny legs!” Graham gets a rollup for two, but Valentine reverses him into the corner and drops the Hammer for the pin at 6:03. Pretty decent little match here. **1/4
And now, the WCW Top 10!
(Your access to and use of the WCW Top 10 or any Top 10s are at your own risk. You understand and agree that the WCW Top 10 are provided to you on an “AS IS” and “AS AVAILABLE” basis. The “WCW Entities” refers to WCW, its parents, affiliates, related companies, officers, directors, employees, agents, representatives, partners, and your mom. Without limiting the foregoing, to the maximum extent permitted under applicable law, THE WCW ENTITIES DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES AND CONDITIONS, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. The WCW Entities make no warranty or representation and disclaim all responsibility and liability for: (i) the completeness, accuracy, availability, timeliness, security or reliability of the WCW Top 10 or any other Top 10; (ii) any harm to your computer system, loss of data, or other harm that results from your access to or use of the WCW Top 10 or your mom; (iii) the deletion of, or the failure to store or to transmit, any Top 10s and other communications maintained by the WCW Top 10; and (iv) whether the WCW Top 10 will meet your requirements or be available on an uninterrupted, secure, or error-free basis. No advice or information, whether oral or written, obtained from the WCW Entities or through the WCW Top 10, will create any warranty or representation not expressly made herein by your mom.)
10. Dustin Rhodes!
9. Nikita Koloff!
8. Ron Simmons!
7. Barry Windham!
6. Cactus Jack!
5. Arn Anderson!
4. Steve Austin!
3. Ricky Steamboat!
2. Big Van Vader!
1. Rick Rude!
World ChampIon: Sting!
(By reading the preceding WCW Top 10 you agree that WCW, its parents, affiliates, related companies, officers, directors, employees, agents representatives, partners and licensors, liability is limited to the maximum extent permissible by your mom.)
Meanwhile, The Steiner Brothers know all about pain and how to deal with it, so Doc & Gordy won’t break Scott. But he concedes they might hurt him.
Barry Windham v. John Peterson
Whatever Windham was using here was obnoxiously overdubbed. Was that “Smokin’” from the WCW album? Peterson slugs away in the corner, but Windham gets a crossbody for two and takes him down with an armbar and works the arm on the mat while Michael Hayes puts over the journalism of the WCW Magazine. Isn’t that like praising the integrity of Fox News? Windham gets a backdrop and a gut wrench and finishes with the superplex at 2:50.
Nikita Koloff v. Ruben Thomas
Nikita was starting to let his hair grow back at this point and it’s not a good look on him. Koloff, having now firmly turned babyface after a few weeks of uncertainty, puts Thomas down with an elbow and then hits him with a suplex and drops an elbow. Sickle finishes at 1:35.
Meanwhile, on Worldwide, Rick Rude throws out a challenge to Nikita Koloff while hiding behind a nervous Madusa, so Nikita comes out and HURLS her across the ring, triggering a giant brawl before everyone breaks it up. He sent her flying like he was Tommy and she was Pam there, holy crap.
Nikita Koloff chats with Jim Ross and his accent is fading like Wanda Maximoff’s at this point as he’s barely bothering to sound Russian.
SENSATIONAL SIX MAN TAG TEAM ACTION! Buddy Lee Parker, Tracy Smothers & Richard Morton v. Johnny B. Badd, Brian Pillman & The Z-Man
Ole Anderson is the referee as they continue that deal, but on the bright side he instantly makes everyone on the babyface side look way more appealing by comparison. Tracy and Badd trade armbars and Badd puts him down with a kneelift for two before going back to the arm. Zenk comes in and continues working the arm, but Tracy slugs away in the corner until Zenk gets a bodypress for two. Superkick gets two. Parker comes in and runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Pillman to come in and go to work on the leg. Badd stays on the knee, but Morton comes in and gets backdropped to the LIGHTS. Pillman gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two and a backslide for two, and then it’s over to Smothers as the babyfaces catch him in the corner and work the arm. Finally Johnny B. Badd gets distracted and the heels take over on him and get the heat while JR and Hayes discuss the new “no mats, no top rope” stuff that all the kids are talking about. Badd gets a sunset flip on Smothers for two, but Tracy uses some redneck kung fu to put him down again. Morton comes in and Badd suplexes him and makes the hot tag to Pillman, who is a HOUSE OF FIRE. Powerslam gets two and IT’S BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, but Pillman comes off the top rope and gets DQ’d at 8:14. Well they had to do it once to establish it, I guess. Gotta love how they deliberately handcuff their multitude of high flying guys and act like it’s a great advancement. It was a really good TV match though as this show has actually been tremendously entertaining this week. *** Afterwards, Ole tells Pillman that it was his own fault, but Tracy Smothers decides to stir the pot by calling him an idiot and saying “he’ll kick Pillman’s ass and his mom and dad’s ass as well” and that naturally leads to some heated words as we head to break.
Arn Anderson v. Marcus Alexander Bagwell
This is our main event for those keeping track. Bagwell is fired up, but he puts his head down and gets elbowed. Arn stomps him down and goes to a bearhug while Hayes buries everyone from Marietta Georgia and Sprayberry High School specifically. Arn works on a backbreaker, but Bagwell slugs away in the corner before walking into the spinebuster at 3:55 to end the slaughter. And Arn finishes off with a promo about his match with Sting coming up as the Omni on July 5, which will be non-title. As it turned out, that show only drew 2500 people with that kind of main event, but there was big stuff that went down.
Really strong in-ring show this week that I enjoyed watching.