The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.04.20

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.04.20

I mean…I don’t anticipate anyone actually to be watching this show, but I need a break from CNN anyway.

Live from Jacksonville, FL

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur, along with LE CHAMPION, who hopefully doesn’t talk politics tonight.

The Inner Circle meets backstage, as Jake Hager is all beat up from his Bellator fight, and MJF interrupts to make his pitch for the group again. But Jericho thinks he’s SOFT.

MJF & Wardlow v. Ortiz & Sammy Guevara

Ortiz dropkicks Wardlow’s knee out of the corner, but gets put down with a chokeslam and it’s over to MJF. Ortiz makes a comeback, so Max distracts the ref and Wardlow beats on him in the corner to put the heels back in control again. MJF stops to sass Sammy, but Ortiz bites his leg, which Jericho approves of. MJF cuts off another tag attempt and brings Ortiz back to the heel corner, and they work on the arm with wristlocks. Finally Ortiz breaks free from MJF and makes the hot tag to Sammy, and he hits Wardlow with a spinkick and runs wild on them. Double springboard bodypress puts MJF on the floor and he hits both guys with dives, showing why he’ll be an incredible babyface someday. Back in, that gets two on MJF. Ortiz and Sammy try a double superplex on MJF, but Wardlow saves and Max comes off the top with a stomp on Ortiz’s arm. Ortiz manages to take Wardlow to the floor, and MJF and Sammy do a gymnastics exhibition before MJF pokes him in the eye for the win. Sammy with the GTS for two and they double-team Wardlow with splashes before putting Friedman on top for the double team superplex, which Wardlow turns into the Tower of Doom instead. And with Ortiz dead, Wardlow hits him with the F10, but Sammy saves with a frog splash. MJF comes back in again, but Sammy dumps him and follows with a somersault dive…at which point Serpentico hits him with a chair and unmasks as Matt Hardy. This leaves Ortiz alone in the ring, and MJF finishes him with the armbar at 9:35. And then MJF spears Jericho through the backdrop behind the announce desk to heat that one up, but Jericho is smiling happily about that development. This one started slow but Sammy was out of his mind great here. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Tony sits down with Kenny Omega and his dog, although it’s apparently not even his real house. Kenny is pissed because both of his opponents were replacements, and he should have just received two byes right to the finals. But he’s destined to win the tournament, so that’s OK.

Miro v. Trent

Miro makes the mistake of badmouthing Trent’s mom and gets attacked as a result, but Miro drops him with a suplex out of the corner and an elbow gets two. He stomps Trent down in the corner and follows with a short clothesline, but Trent fights back with forearms until Miro elbows him down. Chucky brawls with Sabian in the meantime, chasing him to the back while Penelope yells at Orange. Miro misses a blind charge and Trent fights back with chops, although Jericho notes he should be using some kicks to the groin instead. Trent tries the swinging DDT and Miro blocks it and counters with another throw, and then tosses him into the post and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with a replay of Orange getting jumped by the Dark Order geeks during the break, while Miro tries a bearhug on Trent that is quickly escaped. Trent fights back with clotheslines and gets one, but Miro slugs him down. Miro misses a kick and Trent hits him with the half and half suplex, but Miro catches a DDT attempt and slams him for two. Miro misses the big kick and Trent rolls him up for two and then tosses him and follows with a dive. Back in, Trent finally gets his swinging DDT but can’t cover, as Miro just stands up again, so Trent hits a running knee for two. He goes up for a springboard, but slips and hits the mat and Miro finishes him off with the Game Over submission at 12:00. Feels like less is more with Miro and they should keep him to the quick squashes for a while yet. Miro and Sabian lay out the Best Friends on the floor afterwards, but Miro talks about Trent’s mom AGAIN, and this time Orange Cassidy dives onto them to save. Kind of all over the place here, as they’re trying to build up the Best Friends v. Best Men feud, as well as having the Dark Order brawl with Orange at the same time. **1/4

Meanwhile, Jim Ross sits down with a very lubricated Hangman Page, who says that he knows all of Kenny’s moves and how to reverse them. But Jim thinks he’s LYING because he’s drunk and he’s actually nervous about the match.

Team Taz joins us, and Taz is grumpy as usual. Tony Khan blew him off yet again, so now he’s out here to bitch about Cage and Starks getting screwed over in the rankings, and he wants to take it out on Cody. So they’ll be around at Full Gear and they’re gonna DO STUFF.

Private Party v. The Young Bucks

Sammy gets a receipt on Matt by laying him out with a Twist of Fate on the ramp during the Private Party entrance. Nick and Quen trade takedowns to start and the Bucks double-team him for a bit, and then work on Kassidy before suplexing Quen onto him. They dump PP and hit them with dives, but Matt lands on his bad ankle. Back in, the Party double-teams Nick as Jericho warns us never to trust a man in tails. Solid advice. Private Party tosses the Bucks and follows with their own dives, but they both go to the top and Kassidy gets sent to the ramp, leaving Quen alone in the ring. The Bucks double-team him with the bulldog/dropkick combo. They set up the Meltzer Driver, but Quen manages to counter it and we take a break. Back with Quen fighting off a Bucks double-team and managing to hit a double rana on them, and it’s hot tag Kassidy. He runs wild and dumps Matt with a cutter, and then puts Nick out with a stunner and follows with a dive onto them. Back in, that gets two on Nick. Matt is busy selling the ankle on the apron while the Party hit the Gin and Juice on Nick, but Matt still manages to make the save. Nick rolls up Quen for two and they set up another Meltzer, but Kassidy breaks that one up and Quen rolls up Matt for two. Nick superkicks him, however, and the BTE Trigger finishes him at 13:00. And of course FTR hits the ring and lays out the Bucks again, but Hangman Page saves Matt from having his ankle broken again. While carrying his drink. There was a lot of impressive dives and flips, but not much in between them. **1/2 We get a tease of trouble between Page and Omega (“He’s all gunned up, JR!”) but cooler heads prevail.

Face to Face: Eddie Kingston v. Jon Moxley

They really do go face to face and (close enough for Eskimo kisses, as my wife notes) and Eddie does his usual shit-talking, but Mox wins that verbal battle by telling him that he’s going to be unable to fulfil the promise he made to his mother to win. What’s with all the moms getting dragged into the promos this week?

Meanwhile, Pac is back! In video form! He’s been locked down and he’s going kind of crazy. I don’t really understand his promo because the sound is messed up this week as it is and Pac isn’t exactly easy to understand, but he certainly seems nuts.

Meanwhile, the Natural Nightmares finally have the Butcher and the Blade next week to pay off the Bunny storyline.

Nyla Rose v. Red Velvet

Nyla steamrolls her and beats on her in the corner before putting her down with a clothesline, but Velvet fights back with kicks before falling victim to the powerbomb. Nyla picks her up and uses Shida’s knee strike to finish at 1:50. And then Vickie trash-talks Brandi, who is at ringside for some reason, and then cuts a promo on Shida to trigger a quick shoving match.

Meanwhile, various pundits give their picks on the tournament final this Saturday. And we get a montage to Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You’ve Got Until It’s Gone” as we look back at their tag team run and breakup.

Next week: Penta v. Fenix! The Natural Nightmares v. the Butcher & the Blade! Also we learn that Allysin Kay is the latest person to escape the NWA and jump to AEW.

Meanwhile, Darby Allin runs over someone dressed as Cody. I guess that’s sending a message.

Cody & The Gunn Club v. John Silver, 10 & Colt Cabana

This is apparently the Dynamite debut for the Gunn Club, although they’re literally there in the front row every week. Also they are now members of the Nightmare Family, although I feel like Cody might be threatened by the Gunn dynasty overtaking his own. Jericho thinks they’re just putting anybody into that thing now. The Nightmare Family works on Silver in the corner and Austin gets a neckbreaker for two, so Silver retreats to the corner and Colt massages his head to calm him down again. I think it’ll take a lot more than that. Colt comes in and hits Billy with elbows in the corner, but Billy hits him with a slam and it’s back to Austin again for more shine. He takes out Silver on the apron, but walks into a spinebuster from 10 and we take a break. Back with Austin getting worked over, but Billy gets a hot tag and hits 10 with a corner splash and the fameasser for two. Cody powerslams Silver and dives onto Cabana, but 10 hits Billy with a cutter for two. Meanwhile Cody throws Silver into the crowd and Austin runs wild on 10 and finishes him with a neckbreaker deal called the Quick Draw at 8:47. This felt like a solid Dark match but didn’t really fit as a main event of the main show. **1/4 I mean, is anyone really screaming for Billy Gunn main events in 2020? So the babyfaces chase off the Dark Order and Cody cuts a promo on Darby Allin in the stands, about how he personally recruited Darby and had to wrestle him in order to get him a job.

Even though this show is going to get murdered by CNN in the ratings, they did the work in hyping the PPV, so that’s the important thing. As a show, this one was pretty skippable, though.