Date: September 27, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel And Gaming Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews
It’s time for a wedding! We’re in Las Vegas and that means we need to do something big, which may or may not work out very well. I mean, it’s a wrestling wedding so I wouldn’t expect it to go well but you never know. It’s a big night for Brian Cage and Melissa Santos so let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Brian and Melissa’s relationship, which is just so well documented around here. I mean, it’s known outside of Impact but it’s not something that has been focused on around here.
We have a special correspondent and GAIL KIM is the first guest. She’s excited to be here, believe it or not.
Here’s the North, in LAX gear and to LAX music. Ethan Page talks about how the fans were expecting something else. They came out here looking like idiots and fans cheered for them anyway. Josh Alexander talks about how this is a serious place and sacred ground but the fans are making him sick.
They are the Tag Team Champions and they’ll make you forget who LAX was. You CANNOT have LAX back so stop talking online about how much you miss them. Konnan doesn’t have the power to overturn the North so here’s Konnan to interrupt. He rants about how stupid they are but has some new people to come after the titles. Cue Rhino and Rob Van Dam so let’s ring the bell.
Rob Van Dam/Rhino vs. The North
Non-title I believe. The champs get sent outside and we take an early break. Back with Van Dam monkey flipping Alexander and hitting Rolling Thunder for two. It’s off to Rhino to punch Page in the corner and run him over with a shoulder. Van Dam comes back in and gets taken into the champs’ corner with Alexander hitting a suplex for two of his own. Some right hands and a kick to the face get Rob out of trouble and Rhino comes back in for the running shoulders in the corner. Everything breaks down and Rhino runs Alexander over, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 6:42.
Rating: D+. There’s your Bound For Glory title match and as long as the titles don’t change hands (which they shouldn’t), everything is fine coming out of this. The ECW guys are going to be around no matter what and hopefully we still get what should be Willie Mack and Rich Swann’s spot at the pay per view. A triple threat makes sense here, at least after this match.
Impact moves to AXS TV on October 1….for some specials, with the real show beginning on October 29 but close enough.
Gama Singh yells at the Desi Hit Squad and praises Mahabali Shera as the savior of the team.
Back to the wedding, where there are only wrestlers as guests of course. Reno Scum yells at a somewhat disheveled Eddie Edwards. Johnny Swinger comes in to say people watch him on ECW after Rockin Bowl. Oh……move on.
Mahabali Shera vs. Cousin Jake
Jake swings away to start but gets knocked down and chokes a lot. Shera misses a charge in the corner so Jake throws a running shoulder into the corner, only to have Shera come right back with a World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:34.
Post match the beatdown continues as this feud must continue.
TJP and Fallah Bahh argue about their wedding attires. Eddie seems drunk.
Madison Rayne vs. Tenille Dashwood
They fight over a wristlock as the announcers argue over how many times Rayne has been Knockouts Champion. Rayne takes her down and brags a lot, earning herself a basement dropkick. They slug it out on the floor with Dashwood kicking her in the face, only to miss a charge into the corner back inside.
Rayne tells a fan to “shut up old lady” and grabs the chinlock to keep things slow. Back up and a cutter gives Rayne two but another missed charge lets Dashwood hit the Taste of Tenille. The Spotlight Kick misses so it’s a neckbreaker for Rayne instead, setting up the Spotlight Kick to give Dashwood the pin at 8:12.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here with Dashwood winning a match that she was almost guaranteed to win. Rayne is fine as a midcard heel and the Locker Room Leader deal is growing on me a little bit. They need someone to go after the title though and Dashwood would seem to be the best option.
Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes arrive at the wedding and are greeted by Rich Swann and Willie Mack. A discussion over the Tag Team Title shot at Bound For Glory ensues.
Dashwood gets the Knockouts Title shot at Bound For Glory. As she should…..I think.
Here’s Ken Shamrock (looking rather aged) for his big return. He has some great memories of being in this ring and he thanks the fans for their support. Shamrock was talking to Brian Cage when Moose interrupted and bragged about all of his skills, but Ken isn’t impressed. Now Moose isn’t here, meaning his whereabouts are like his resume: NOTHING. We get the call out but Moose comes up on screen from Shamrock’s gym. Some yelling ensues and Moose beats up a guy in a cage. This is totally different than when he did the same thing at the American Top Team gym when he was feuding with Bobby Lashley.
Taya Valkyrie asks Rosemary for help against Dashwood but doesn’t like Taya’s whining attitude. Until the old Taya is back, Rosemary will be no help. Taya even offers her a dress, which is thrown onto the floor.
Bound For Glory rundown.
Flashback Moment of the Week: Eric Young marries ODB.
OVE is not allowed into the reception.
Tommy Dreamer gives Brian Cage a pep talk about the wedding when Cage’s brother Ryan comes in. Dreamer finds his rather normal appearance amusing.
Rayne coaches the bridal party on how to walk down the aisle. Taya comes in and says she needs help with Dashwood.
Tessa Blanchard vs. Dave Crist
Jake Crist and Madman Fulton are here too and the winner goes on to an X-Division Title ladder match at Bound For Glory. Tessa hammers away to start so Dave kicks at the leg to no avail. A trip to the floor lets Fulton choke Tessa a bit, which is good for a quick ejection. Back in and Dave chokes in the corner and hits her in the back of the head, allowing Jake to get in his own choking. Tessa rolls him up for two but gets caught in something like a Go To Sleep for the same. A missed double stomp out of the corner misses as well and Tessa grabs the buzzsaw DDT for the pin at 6:20.
Rating: C-. The interference got annoying but it’s nice to see Tessa get the pin off a move instead of a fluke rollup. There is little to no reason to not put the X-Division Title on her at Bound For Glory now that her World Title chances are done. It might not be the coolest moment in the world but it’s a big deal and another step forward now that she has nothing left to do in the Knockouts diviison.
Post match Fulton is back in for a chokeslam.
Rayne tells Alisha Edwards to keep a better eye on her husband so Ace Austin can escort her at the wedding.
It’s time for the wedding with the Rascalz coughing a lot and the Deaners hitting on Jessika Havok. Rohit Raju is crying and Gama Singh has to glare at him to break it up. Taya glares at Rosemary for not wearing the dress she brought her but gets told to keep walking. In something that absolutely shouldn’t surprise me, Dreamer walks Melissa down the aisle.
Ryan is officiating the ceremony but hang on as Taya needs to brag about everything she has done. Ethan Page has objections….to how the company is run and wants royalty money. Eddie Edwards staggers in and vomits on Ryan before trying to beat up Austin. Dreamer asks if anyone can run the wedding. Cue James Mitchell to say you asked for a minister. He goes through their vows, gives Melissa his card just in case, and pronounces them man and wife. The reception is in the ring. Dreamer: “Right after this commercial break.”
Back from a break and they come into the ring for the first dance…and here’s Sami Callihan to sing his rendition of Here Comes The Bride. He’s here for a party instead of a fight because he’ll take the title at Bound For Glory. Sami wants to beat the Machine Brian Cage, and that’s his toast to the bride and the b****. Cage comes at him and Sami hits Melissa with a bottle to end the show as Sami knows he screwed up. The segment was a little long but the jokes at the reception were rather funny and the angle at the end worked well.
Overall Rating: C-. The big angle at the end helped a lot and felt like a big deal, which is really the first time that has happened in a long time. That’s been the biggest problem for Impact for a long while now: nothing they do feels like it matters and it needs to change in their busy season. Maybe the move to AXS can help, but there are some things holding them back, with some of their roster being near the top of the list. Not a bad show, but it needs more of the latter than the first half.
Rhino/Rob Van Dam b. The North – Five Star Frog Splash to Alexander
Mahabali Shera b. Cousin Jake – World’s Strongest Slam
Tenille Dashwood b. Madison Rayne – Spotlight Kick
Tessa Blanchard b. Dave Crist – Hammerlock DDT
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