The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S01E04
“Thrill of the Hunt”
Your hosts are Vampiro & Matt Striker
Previously: Dario Cueto signed free agent Johnny Mundo, but only to make an example out of him. So now Johnny has sworn revenge on Cueto and formed an uneasy alliance with Prince Puma.
Sexy Star v. Ivelisse
Sexy cuts a promo in Spanish, and Ivelisse gives her own bitchy response. Striker: “We’re not gonna see a whole lot of wrestling stuff here, lots of hair-pulling. But these are two of the best luchadoras in the world!” High praise there, Matt. We indeed do not get “a whole lot of wrestling stuff” as Ivelisse chokes Star out in the corner and gives us the promised hair-pulling, and stomps her down for two. We go to the chinlock as the close-up reveals that Sexy Star wrestles with her wedding band on, which seems like a TERRIBLE idea on a lot of levels. That’s a pretty big safety hazard! Random thought: It’s hilarious reading the 92 Observers right now with all the talk of what a huge sex symbol and babyface that Vampiro was at the time, and now he’s out there looking like someone’s tattooed dad on commentary. Sexy Star escapes all the chinlocks and comes back with a codebreaker and a pair of suplexes for two. Ivelisse comes back with a guillotine choke into a DDT for two, but Sexy rolls her up with La Majastral for the pin at 6:25. This was not so much with the good. ½*
Mietras, Dario Cueto meets Drago in the back, and offers him up as the first victim of King Cuerno.
Pentagon Jr. v. Fenix
Pentagon throws low kicks to start, but Fenix hits him with a standing moonsault for two and we get a stalemate. Pentagon bails and Fenix follows him out with a dive, then back in with an amazing springboard legdrop. The dude was practically frozen in mid-air, it was something else. Fenix with a springboard dropkick out of the corner and Pentagon bails again, so Fenix fires off ANOTHER dive, which gets two. Pentagon with a backstabber out of the corner, but Fenix handsprings into an RKO for two. Pentagon catches him with a package powerbomb for two, but they head to the apron and Fenix dropkicks him down to the floor. And then kicks him square in the face for good measure. Back in, that gets two. Pentagon catches him with a sling blade for two, and reverses a bulldog attempt into a facefirst powerbomb for two. Pentagon goes up and Fenix pops up and hits him with an enzuigiri, then brings him down with a C4/Spanish Fly for the pin at 8:00. Crazy spotfest, for better or worse. ***1/4
Drago v. King Cuerno
King Cuerno has a deer on his head, so you know he means business. Drago uses the speed, but Cuerno overpowers him and follows with a standing dropkick. Drago comes out of the corner with a flying headscissors, but Cuerno smacks him down on a second attempt. Drago makes a comeback, so Cuerno tosses the ref down to get in the way. He bails, but Drago follows him out with a dive. Cuerno fires back with his own, but goes for the finish back in the ring, but Drago springboards off the ropes with a wacky rolling cradle for the pin at 4:17. Not much to this one. **
Mietras, Konnan has more sage advice for Puma. Thankfully it gives him another chance to say “bum rush”, his favorite phrase.
Johnny Mundo v. Big Rick
Rick throws Johnny around and pounds away in the corner, then goes to the neck vice to counter the POWER OF PARKOUR. Mundo finally comes back with a Moonlight Drive for two and a springboard kick for two. And we suddenly cut to the back, where Puma is attacked by Cortez & Cisco, who then run down for the DQ at 4:42. The crew proceeds with the beatdown and puts Mundo through a table to end the show. *
Wow, that was quite the lame duck episode.