Halloween
Havoc 1999
Date: October 24, 1999
Location: MGM Garden
Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,464
Commentators: Bobby
Heenan, Tony Schiavone
Havoc 1999
Date: October 24, 1999
Location: MGM Garden
Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,464
Commentators: Bobby
Heenan, Tony Schiavone
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
The
Russo Era is officially upon us as we got a big time preview this
past Monday. However, this show is the real thing with Russo getting
to direct where things go from here. Expect to see a lot more
pointless talking, a lot more insanity and a lot more shouting about
what I did to deserve this. Let’s get to it.
Russo Era is officially upon us as we got a big time preview this
past Monday. However, this show is the real thing with Russo getting
to direct where things go from here. Expect to see a lot more
pointless talking, a lot more insanity and a lot more shouting about
what I did to deserve this. Let’s get to it.
The
opening video focuses on Sid vs. Goldberg and mentions the whole
“Goldberg can’t touch him” bit, which has basically been ignored.
Hogan vs. Sting gets even less hype.
opening video focuses on Sid vs. Goldberg and mentions the whole
“Goldberg can’t touch him” bit, which has basically been ignored.
Hogan vs. Sting gets even less hype.
A
LOUD Weasel chant is ignored by Heenan as Tony announces that due to
Rey Mysterio being injured, the Filthy Animals have been stripped of
the Tag Team Titles. The solution? A triple threat hardcore title
match for the belts with Kidman substituting for Mysterio. Well why
bother having a match when you can just make it hardcore? They run
down the rest of the card in case you bought the show blind.
LOUD Weasel chant is ignored by Heenan as Tony announces that due to
Rey Mysterio being injured, the Filthy Animals have been stripped of
the Tag Team Titles. The solution? A triple threat hardcore title
match for the belts with Kidman substituting for Mysterio. Well why
bother having a match when you can just make it hardcore? They run
down the rest of the card in case you bought the show blind.
The
big demon holding the pumpkin set is back. That thing is so cool
looking and deserves to be on a better show.
big demon holding the pumpkin set is back. That thing is so cool
looking and deserves to be on a better show.
Cruiserweight
Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lash Leroux
Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lash Leroux
Lash
is challenging so Disco starts fast with a clothesline and stomps in
the corner. A DDT plants Leroux again and it’s time for choking.
Lash comes back with a dropkick and slam for two. Totally basic
stuff so far. Some Cajun dancing sets up a clothesline for two more
as Heenan suggests holding ropes of trunks.
is challenging so Disco starts fast with a clothesline and stomps in
the corner. A DDT plants Leroux again and it’s time for choking.
Lash comes back with a dropkick and slam for two. Totally basic
stuff so far. Some Cajun dancing sets up a clothesline for two more
as Heenan suggests holding ropes of trunks.
They
head outside with Disco sending him into the steps, only to get
caught in a nice belly to belly back inside. It’s a bad sign when
fans are already going for popcorn in the opening match. Or did
people even show up for those seats in the first place? Lash puts on
a chinlock in a rare move for a good guy, which might explain why it
doesn’t go anywhere.
head outside with Disco sending him into the steps, only to get
caught in a nice belly to belly back inside. It’s a bad sign when
fans are already going for popcorn in the opening match. Or did
people even show up for those seats in the first place? Lash puts on
a chinlock in a rare move for a good guy, which might explain why it
doesn’t go anywhere.
The
Last Dance (or is it still the Chartbuster?) is countered into a
backbreaker but Disco escapes Whiplash (which Tony didn’t seem to
recognize) as well. The swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco and
Heenan again wants trunks pulled. Lash lifts him up for something
like a sitout ProtoBomb (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!” No Tony, it
isn’t.”) for his closest near fall yet but the Last Dance retains
the title a few seconds later.
Last Dance (or is it still the Chartbuster?) is countered into a
backbreaker but Disco escapes Whiplash (which Tony didn’t seem to
recognize) as well. The swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco and
Heenan again wants trunks pulled. Lash lifts him up for something
like a sitout ProtoBomb (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!” No Tony, it
isn’t.”) for his closest near fall yet but the Last Dance retains
the title a few seconds later.
Rating:
D+. The wrestling was
acceptable but this was a horrible choice for an opener. An opening
match is supposed to get the fans into the rest of the show. Instead
this was just a basic match with almost no high flying or exciting
moments, making it completely against the idea of a standard
cruiserweight match. It didn’t help that Lash pretty much got
squashed here and never even had major control. Just an odd choice
and nothing interesting.
D+. The wrestling was
acceptable but this was a horrible choice for an opener. An opening
match is supposed to get the fans into the rest of the show. Instead
this was just a basic match with almost no high flying or exciting
moments, making it completely against the idea of a standard
cruiserweight match. It didn’t help that Lash pretty much got
squashed here and never even had major control. Just an odd choice
and nothing interesting.
Post
match Lash hits Whiplash (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!”) on the belt.
What a jerk. They might as
well turn Disco face as he’s pretty over with the fans.
match Lash hits Whiplash (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!”) on the belt.
What a jerk. They might as
well turn Disco face as he’s pretty over with the fans.
Malenko
and Benoit arrived earlier in the day (because they work here) and
run into Saturn. He hasn’t heard from them lately, but Dean and
Chris are done with the Revolution. In
other words, after months of building up the Revolution and then
feeding them to the First Family and Sid, we’re likely in for a feud
between the members, making the entire team as close to a waste of
time as you can get.
and Benoit arrived earlier in the day (because they work here) and
run into Saturn. He hasn’t heard from them lately, but Dean and
Chris are done with the Revolution. In
other words, after months of building up the Revolution and then
feeding them to the First Family and Sid, we’re likely in for a feud
between the members, making the entire team as close to a waste of
time as you can get.
Harlem
Heat is ready to survive the Tag Team Title match tonight because
that’s what they’ve done their whole lives. Stevie doesn’t want
those no talent fruit booties to forget it.
Heat is ready to survive the Tag Team Title match tonight because
that’s what they’ve done their whole lives. Stevie doesn’t want
those no talent fruit booties to forget it.
Tag
Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Harlem Heat vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh
Morrus
Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Harlem Heat vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh
Morrus
The
titles are vacant coming in. Penzer: “This match will be fought
under street fight rules!” Heenan: “Oh no.” The
First Family wears Halloween masks to the ring. Kidman
and Konnan on the other hand wear the title belts to the ring despite
Kidman never winning one. Kidman
has a camera with him as well. The
First Family has weapons with them for an early advantage and there
are two referees here. You can see the screwiness from a mile away.
titles are vacant coming in. Penzer: “This match will be fought
under street fight rules!” Heenan: “Oh no.” The
First Family wears Halloween masks to the ring. Kidman
and Konnan on the other hand wear the title belts to the ring despite
Kidman never winning one. Kidman
has a camera with him as well. The
First Family has weapons with them for an early advantage and there
are two referees here. You can see the screwiness from a mile away.
Booker
throws Brian into the fans and Stevie nails Kidman in the head with a
trashcan. All six get back
in to make my life easier with Morrus nailing Kidman with a
clothesline for two, thanks to Kidman grabbing the ropes. Stop
having that rule in hardcore matches. Falls count anywhere should
include in the ropes. Booker goes after Jimmy Hart and gets blasted
with a trashcan. That
doesn’t interest him enough to sell though so Harlem Heat double team
Knobbs and throw him through a Styrofoam
casket.
throws Brian into the fans and Stevie nails Kidman in the head with a
trashcan. All six get back
in to make my life easier with Morrus nailing Kidman with a
clothesline for two, thanks to Kidman grabbing the ropes. Stop
having that rule in hardcore matches. Falls count anywhere should
include in the ropes. Booker goes after Jimmy Hart and gets blasted
with a trashcan. That
doesn’t interest him enough to sell though so Harlem Heat double team
Knobbs and throw him through a Styrofoam
casket.
Morrus
drops Kidman ribs first onto an open chair (ow) as Knobbs and Booker
fight into the back. It’s
table time in the ring as Knobbs hits Booker with a water jug. For
some reason, Tony finds this funny. No
Laughing Matter puts Konnan through the table but in the back, Booker
hits Knobbs with a mummy for a fast counted pin and the titles before
Morrus can pin Konnan.
drops Kidman ribs first onto an open chair (ow) as Knobbs and Booker
fight into the back. It’s
table time in the ring as Knobbs hits Booker with a water jug. For
some reason, Tony finds this funny. No
Laughing Matter puts Konnan through the table but in the back, Booker
hits Knobbs with a mummy for a fast counted pin and the titles before
Morrus can pin Konnan.
Rating:
D-. So to recap, this is likely
setting up Harlem Heat vs. the First Family again, meaning we’re
right back to where we were about a week ago. The match was your
standard messy WWF hardcore match with gimmicky weapons and no
semblance of wrestling in the slightest. In other words, Russo
thought it was great and the novelty is going to wear off quick. Or
make me want to watch Road Dogg vs. Al Snow who were better at these
things.
D-. So to recap, this is likely
setting up Harlem Heat vs. the First Family again, meaning we’re
right back to where we were about a week ago. The match was your
standard messy WWF hardcore match with gimmicky weapons and no
semblance of wrestling in the slightest. In other words, Russo
thought it was great and the novelty is going to wear off quick. Or
make me want to watch Road Dogg vs. Al Snow who were better at these
things.
As
Harlem Heat comes back in we hear a three count and a bell, which
apparently was Kidman pinning Morrus. How that came about after the
No Laughing Matter isn’t clear because we needed to watch Harlem Heat
walking from the back. Why is Russo so obsessed with watching people
walk through the back? It took up like ten minutes on Nitro and now
it screws up the result of a match. I mean…..IT’S WALKING. You
still see this stuff to this day on Raw and Impact and I still don’t
get it.
Harlem Heat comes back in we hear a three count and a bell, which
apparently was Kidman pinning Morrus. How that came about after the
No Laughing Matter isn’t clear because we needed to watch Harlem Heat
walking from the back. Why is Russo so obsessed with watching people
walk through the back? It took up like ten minutes on Nitro and now
it screws up the result of a match. I mean…..IT’S WALKING. You
still see this stuff to this day on Raw and Impact and I still don’t
get it.
Also
Konnan might have injured his collarbone. Oh good. He can still
walk in the back.
Mysterio and Torrie (who really, really agrees with the Filthy
Animals look) come out to stare from the entrance.
Konnan might have injured his collarbone. Oh good. He can still
walk in the back.
Mysterio and Torrie (who really, really agrees with the Filthy
Animals look) come out to stare from the entrance.
The
Flairs storm into the arena with Ric holding a crowbar.
Flairs storm into the arena with Ric holding a crowbar.
Here
are Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly for our first talking segment of
the show. Kimberly says
fourteen times, which isn’t the amount of times Flair won that stupid
belt. That’s the number of times Ric spanked her recently, but when
she and Page are together, that’s just a warmup. This would be the
pointless sexual part of the show.
are Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly for our first talking segment of
the show. Kimberly says
fourteen times, which isn’t the amount of times Flair won that stupid
belt. That’s the number of times Ric spanked her recently, but when
she and Page are together, that’s just a warmup. This would be the
pointless sexual part of the show.
Page
hates Flair and promises that Ric will never forget him. Kimberly
invited David Flair to her room in an obvious swerve (Page’s words)
and Ric showed up, but can only spank her? Page has Flair’s spank,
and guess where he points. Page:
“Let’s whack it, and let’s jack it all night long.” Before this
takes a VERY weird turn, Page wants to make the match tonight a strap
match. This is another of
those ideas which really didn’t need to happen and all the innuendo
got old in a hurry, like almost every Russo idea actually.
hates Flair and promises that Ric will never forget him. Kimberly
invited David Flair to her room in an obvious swerve (Page’s words)
and Ric showed up, but can only spank her? Page has Flair’s spank,
and guess where he points. Page:
“Let’s whack it, and let’s jack it all night long.” Before this
takes a VERY weird turn, Page wants to make the match tonight a strap
match. This is another of
those ideas which really didn’t need to happen and all the innuendo
got old in a hurry, like almost every Russo idea actually.
Goldberg
is looking for Sid.
is looking for Sid.
Kidman
and Torrie tell Eddie that they’ll have his back tonight. Eddie
thinks he should call Rey on the way to the hospital. Guerrero is
wearing a Rolex, which he probably stole from Ric on Monday.
and Torrie tell Eddie that they’ll have his back tonight. Eddie
thinks he should call Rey on the way to the hospital. Guerrero is
wearing a Rolex, which he probably stole from Ric on Monday.
Eddie
Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn
Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn
Eddie
lets Heenan hold the watch for some reason. They
dive around each other to start until Saturn grabs a hot shot for
two. Back up and Eddie
throws him to the floor and
then into the barricade. The
lack of extended selling continues as Saturn gets two off a pop up
powerbomb. Heenan wants the number of a 24 hour pawn shop while
Saturn cranks on an armbar.
lets Heenan hold the watch for some reason. They
dive around each other to start until Saturn grabs a hot shot for
two. Back up and Eddie
throws him to the floor and
then into the barricade. The
lack of extended selling continues as Saturn gets two off a pop up
powerbomb. Heenan wants the number of a 24 hour pawn shop while
Saturn cranks on an armbar.
Off
to a cross armbreaker followed by a chicken wing with a headscissors
(cool looking move). That
goes nowhere so Eddie dropkicks Saturn for two, only to walk into a
t-bone suplex. Saturn
switches up the target by going after the knee with
a variety of leg locks. Eddie
grabs a wristlock on the mat before going with a short arm scissors.
The lifting counter slam and
a Lionsault get two for Saturn but
Eddie brainbusters him back down.
to a cross armbreaker followed by a chicken wing with a headscissors
(cool looking move). That
goes nowhere so Eddie dropkicks Saturn for two, only to walk into a
t-bone suplex. Saturn
switches up the target by going after the knee with
a variety of leg locks. Eddie
grabs a wristlock on the mat before going with a short arm scissors.
The lifting counter slam and
a Lionsault get two for Saturn but
Eddie brainbusters him back down.
The
frog splash misses though and
Saturn hits a springboard dropkick. Eddie
goes up but gets crotched with a superkick to the knee, allowing
Saturn to superplex him down. They
head up top again with Eddie reversing Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge
bomb) into a superplex, but here’s Ric Flair with a crowbar to knock
Eddie out for the DQ. Why
do I have a feeling that’s the closest we’ll get to a regular match
with a regular ending all night long?
frog splash misses though and
Saturn hits a springboard dropkick. Eddie
goes up but gets crotched with a superkick to the knee, allowing
Saturn to superplex him down. They
head up top again with Eddie reversing Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge
bomb) into a superplex, but here’s Ric Flair with a crowbar to knock
Eddie out for the DQ. Why
do I have a feeling that’s the closest we’ll get to a regular match
with a regular ending all night long?
Rating:
C. The match was pretty dull
but they were getting going when we got to the stupid ending. I’m so
glad we set this stupid angle up on Monday and Flair was so angry
that he waited eleven minutes before coming down to break it up. As
usual though, this was about the angle instead of the wrestling,
which makes the match we got seem like a waste of time.
C. The match was pretty dull
but they were getting going when we got to the stupid ending. I’m so
glad we set this stupid angle up on Monday and Flair was so angry
that he waited eleven minutes before coming down to break it up. As
usual though, this was about the angle instead of the wrestling,
which makes the match we got seem like a waste of time.
Kidman
and Torrie come out so Flair blasts Kidman with the bar and kisses
Torrie. She doesn’t seem to
mind that much. I have zero
issue looking at Torrie more tonight. Ric
comes back to remember the story and gets his watch back.
and Torrie come out so Flair blasts Kidman with the bar and kisses
Torrie. She doesn’t seem to
mind that much. I have zero
issue looking at Torrie more tonight. Ric
comes back to remember the story and gets his watch back.
We
cut away from the replay to see Goldberg punching Sid. Security
breaks them up and Sid is a bloody mess. Heenan:
“He looks like he took 50 tomatoes to the face.” Potatoes
more than likely.
cut away from the replay to see Goldberg punching Sid. Security
breaks them up and Sid is a bloody mess. Heenan:
“He looks like he took 50 tomatoes to the face.” Potatoes
more than likely.
Here’s
Buff Bagwell for another talking segment. He
has a problem with the two new writers from up north who are here to
save WCW. Oh geez here we go. He also has a problem with Jeff
Jarrett because Buff isn’t on the show tonight. The line doesn’t
make any more sense in context. Bagwell
tells Heenan to get Jeff out here but Jeff is here because Buff even
turns to talk to Bobby.
Buff Bagwell for another talking segment. He
has a problem with the two new writers from up north who are here to
save WCW. Oh geez here we go. He also has a problem with Jeff
Jarrett because Buff isn’t on the show tonight. The line doesn’t
make any more sense in context. Bagwell
tells Heenan to get Jeff out here but Jeff is here because Buff even
turns to talk to Bobby.
The
fight is on with Buff a face again and fired up after being
uninterested on Monday. That’s another story we’re not going to
reference again isn’t it? Jeff
starts to get the better of it so Luger comes out for the save, only
to hit Buff with the guitar by mistake. I guess this is due to Liz
being knocked out with a guitar next to her. I still think she did
it to herself.
fight is on with Buff a face again and fired up after being
uninterested on Monday. That’s another story we’re not going to
reference again isn’t it? Jeff
starts to get the better of it so Luger comes out for the save, only
to hit Buff with the guitar by mistake. I guess this is due to Liz
being knocked out with a guitar next to her. I still think she did
it to herself.
Sid
is getting stitched up and throws the cameras out.
is getting stitched up and throws the cameras out.
An
injured Eddie calls Rey and tells him to get back to the arena.
Isn’t Rey injured?
injured Eddie calls Rey and tells him to get back to the arena.
Isn’t Rey injured?
Brad
Armstrong vs. Berlyn
Armstrong vs. Berlyn
Naturally
Brad wears an American flag shirt to the ring. They
lock up to start with Berlyn cartwheeling out of a wristlock. Berlyn
suplexes Brad down as Tony reads off a sweepstakes result. A
pop up powerbomb gets two on Armstrong followed by some stomps. The
dull match continues with Berlyn hitting him in the corner as Tony
talks about ANYTHING but this match. Brad
grabs the rope to counter the neckbreaker and quickly covers Berlyn
for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.
Brad wears an American flag shirt to the ring. They
lock up to start with Berlyn cartwheeling out of a wristlock. Berlyn
suplexes Brad down as Tony reads off a sweepstakes result. A
pop up powerbomb gets two on Armstrong followed by some stomps. The
dull match continues with Berlyn hitting him in the corner as Tony
talks about ANYTHING but this match. Brad
grabs the rope to counter the neckbreaker and quickly covers Berlyn
for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.
Rating:
F. This was on pay per view,
meaning it’s a failure by definition. Somehow this was the best they
could have done as they kept it short but this really could have been
done on TV for the same result. Dull match and the Berlyn push
thankfully is done. He never got a fair shake though, after the
Duggan match last month and then this mess.
F. This was on pay per view,
meaning it’s a failure by definition. Somehow this was the best they
could have done as they kept it short but this really could have been
done on TV for the same result. Dull match and the Berlyn push
thankfully is done. He never got a fair shake though, after the
Duggan match last month and then this mess.
The
bodyguard and Berlyn lay out Armstrong post match.
bodyguard and Berlyn lay out Armstrong post match.
Flair
says he has his watch back and is ready to fight the Animals anytime.
He brings up the spanking
again, which is becoming a thinner and thinner veil for what they
really want to say but can’t on TV. Torrie
got some of Flair tonight so Kimberly is up next.
says he has his watch back and is ready to fight the Animals anytime.
He brings up the spanking
again, which is becoming a thinner and thinner veil for what they
really want to say but can’t on TV. Torrie
got some of Flair tonight so Kimberly is up next.
TV
Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner
Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner
Benoit
is defending after beating Steiner for the title the night after Fall
Brawl. Steiner immediately
heads to the floor, just after Tony says that wouldn’t happen in this
match. I can always get a
chuckle out of Tony being wrong. We
play keep away for a bit until Rick nails him coming back in. A
huge Steiner Line nails Benoit and Rick hits his backdrop powerslam
for two. Tony calls this
power wrestling, which I guess is the new definition for “we won’t
fire this guy so sit through this awful stuff.”
is defending after beating Steiner for the title the night after Fall
Brawl. Steiner immediately
heads to the floor, just after Tony says that wouldn’t happen in this
match. I can always get a
chuckle out of Tony being wrong. We
play keep away for a bit until Rick nails him coming back in. A
huge Steiner Line nails Benoit and Rick hits his backdrop powerslam
for two. Tony calls this
power wrestling, which I guess is the new definition for “we won’t
fire this guy so sit through this awful stuff.”
Rick
goes up but Benoit grabs a superplex, which Steiner isn’t even polite
enough to sell for more than about four seconds. The
threat of the Crossface sends them back to the floor with Steiner
sending him into the barricade to
take over again. Rick
screws up the timing coming out of the corner (I’m shocked too),
meaning he has to intentionally walk into a dropkick for two. It
looked horrible but that really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this
point.
goes up but Benoit grabs a superplex, which Steiner isn’t even polite
enough to sell for more than about four seconds. The
threat of the Crossface sends them back to the floor with Steiner
sending him into the barricade to
take over again. Rick
screws up the timing coming out of the corner (I’m shocked too),
meaning he has to intentionally walk into a dropkick for two. It
looked horrible but that really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this
point.
A
low blow puts Benoit down because Rick doesn’t know how to wrestle a
match to get control. Off to a lame leg lock which doesn’t seem like
it would be very painful, but it lets Rick take a break after this
grueling six minutes of work. Benoit
misses another dropkick so Rick rubs his face into the mat. An
attempt at a sunset flip counter to a powerbomb goes badly as well
with Rick not even leaning back to be taken over, leaving Benoit to
crash to the mat instead.
low blow puts Benoit down because Rick doesn’t know how to wrestle a
match to get control. Off to a lame leg lock which doesn’t seem like
it would be very painful, but it lets Rick take a break after this
grueling six minutes of work. Benoit
misses another dropkick so Rick rubs his face into the mat. An
attempt at a sunset flip counter to a powerbomb goes badly as well
with Rick not even leaning back to be taken over, leaving Benoit to
crash to the mat instead.
Benoit
gets one off a small package but stays on the mat instead of getting
up so Rick can’t botch anything else. Instead
Rick just hits him in the back of the head and puts him in the
reverse Tree of Woe. Rick
hits some release German suplexes for two with Benoit just crashing
harder and harder each time. The
fans aren’t pleased until Benoit counters a suplex into a DDT to get
a breather.
gets one off a small package but stays on the mat instead of getting
up so Rick can’t botch anything else. Instead
Rick just hits him in the back of the head and puts him in the
reverse Tree of Woe. Rick
hits some release German suplexes for two with Benoit just crashing
harder and harder each time. The
fans aren’t pleased until Benoit counters a suplex into a DDT to get
a breather.
Benoit
chops away in the corner and rolls some Germans. Tony: “THIS IS A
CLASSIC!” The referee eats an elbow to the face so Steiner brings
in a chair. Benoit hits a suplex and does a Van Daminator with a
right hand instead of a kick. He loads up the Swan Dive but Steiner
throws the chair at him on the way down. Cue Malenko to SHOCKINGLY
turn on Benoit by nailing him with the chair, giving Steiner the pin
and the title because SCREW WCW AND THEIR LOVE FOR RICK FREAKING
STEINER.
chops away in the corner and rolls some Germans. Tony: “THIS IS A
CLASSIC!” The referee eats an elbow to the face so Steiner brings
in a chair. Benoit hits a suplex and does a Van Daminator with a
right hand instead of a kick. He loads up the Swan Dive but Steiner
throws the chair at him on the way down. Cue Malenko to SHOCKINGLY
turn on Benoit by nailing him with the chair, giving Steiner the pin
and the title because SCREW WCW AND THEIR LOVE FOR RICK FREAKING
STEINER.
Rating:
D. There’s only so much Benoit
can do when he’s in a mess like this. Rick
beat Benoit up for twelve minutes and Benoit was barely ever on
offense. What is Benoit supposed to do in something like this? On
top of that, let’s mess up the Revolution and get rid of their most
popular and successful member for the sake of a SWERVE. Maybe this
gets Benoit on to something bigger, but my goodness, couldn’t he drop
the TV Title to…..oh I don’t know…..SATURN OR MALENKO?
D. There’s only so much Benoit
can do when he’s in a mess like this. Rick
beat Benoit up for twelve minutes and Benoit was barely ever on
offense. What is Benoit supposed to do in something like this? On
top of that, let’s mess up the Revolution and get rid of their most
popular and successful member for the sake of a SWERVE. Maybe this
gets Benoit on to something bigger, but my goodness, couldn’t he drop
the TV Title to…..oh I don’t know…..SATURN OR MALENKO?
Saturn
and Malenko hug in the aisle. Saturn: “Hi Shane.” Heenan:
“DOUGLAS COULD BE BEHIND THIS!” Because Shane Douglas gets to
come in and be some mastermind I guess.
and Malenko hug in the aisle. Saturn: “Hi Shane.” Heenan:
“DOUGLAS COULD BE BEHIND THIS!” Because Shane Douglas gets to
come in and be some mastermind I guess.
Bret
still has an injured ankle and shouldn’t be wrestling tonight. Luger
may have cost him the World Title last week, but this week he’s going
to be excellently executed. This was the first logical and well done
segment of the night and it lasted all of 45 seconds.
still has an injured ankle and shouldn’t be wrestling tonight. Luger
may have cost him the World Title last week, but this week he’s going
to be excellently executed. This was the first logical and well done
segment of the night and it lasted all of 45 seconds.
Total
Package vs. Bret Hart
Package vs. Bret Hart
Bret
goes right after him to start and takes Luger outside to send him
into the announcers’ table. Tony: “This is a very hard table!”
Back in and Bret rakes the eyes across the ropes and chokes in the
corner as this has been completely one sided so far. They head
outside again with Bret ramming him into various objects, only to go
after Elizabeth. Eh I can’t blame him with her in that dress.
goes right after him to start and takes Luger outside to send him
into the announcers’ table. Tony: “This is a very hard table!”
Back in and Bret rakes the eyes across the ropes and chokes in the
corner as this has been completely one sided so far. They head
outside again with Bret ramming him into various objects, only to go
after Elizabeth. Eh I can’t blame him with her in that dress.
Luger’s
cheap shot fails and Bret sends him into the barricade and back
inside. Luger finally goes to the eyes to take over but Bret hits
him in the back to regain control. We hit the Five Moves of Doom but
Luger breaks the Sharpshooter with another thumb to the eye. They
fall out to the floor and Bret is holding his ankle again. Back in
and Luger wraps the leg around the ropes before putting on a half
crab for the submission. Seriously.
cheap shot fails and Bret sends him into the barricade and back
inside. Luger finally goes to the eyes to take over but Bret hits
him in the back to regain control. We hit the Five Moves of Doom but
Luger breaks the Sharpshooter with another thumb to the eye. They
fall out to the floor and Bret is holding his ankle again. Back in
and Luger wraps the leg around the ropes before putting on a half
crab for the submission. Seriously.
Rating:
D. Luger’s entire offense for
this match: two pokes to the eye, a right hand, a kick to the leg,
bending the leg around the rope and the half crab. This
is one of those matches where all of the premises don’t add up to the
conclusion. Bret having a bad leg coming in and selling it
throughout is fine, but my goodness. LEX LUGER just made Bret tap to
something other than the Torture Rack on pay per view.
Just…..think before you do things WCW. Please?
D. Luger’s entire offense for
this match: two pokes to the eye, a right hand, a kick to the leg,
bending the leg around the rope and the half crab. This
is one of those matches where all of the premises don’t add up to the
conclusion. Bret having a bad leg coming in and selling it
throughout is fine, but my goodness. LEX LUGER just made Bret tap to
something other than the Torture Rack on pay per view.
Just…..think before you do things WCW. Please?
Goldberg
promises to separate Sid’s head from his body.
promises to separate Sid’s head from his body.
Here’s
Madusa in a swimsuit to shill Nitro cologne.
She gets on the announcers’
table and pours it over Heenan, swears about
the Powers That Be, and
leaves. Apparently it
smells horrible. Tony: “I love my job.” This
has been a moment.
Madusa in a swimsuit to shill Nitro cologne.
She gets on the announcers’
table and pours it over Heenan, swears about
the Powers That Be, and
leaves. Apparently it
smells horrible. Tony: “I love my job.” This
has been a moment.
We
recap Sting vs. Hogan. Sting turned heel to win the title last month
at Fall Brawl because WCW is stupid, and tonight is the rematch.
recap Sting vs. Hogan. Sting turned heel to win the title last month
at Fall Brawl because WCW is stupid, and tonight is the rematch.
WCW
World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Hulk
doesn’t come out at first, Sting comes out, Hogan
eventually comes out
in street clothes (I don’t
want to know what street) and
lays down for the pin in three seconds. That would be Hogan’s last
match until February. Any guesses as to how much of an explanation
we get on this idiocy?
doesn’t come out at first, Sting comes out, Hogan
eventually comes out
in street clothes (I don’t
want to know what street) and
lays down for the pin in three seconds. That would be Hogan’s last
match until February. Any guesses as to how much of an explanation
we get on this idiocy?
We’re
on a Goldberg vs. Sid video before Hogan is even out of the ring and
the first part is covered by Sting music. They mention the Goldberg
can’t touch him bit and don’t bother explaining. At one point the
video cuts back to the crowd because WCW is run by a bunch of stupid
monkeys. The fans are booing this out of the building and can you
blame them?
on a Goldberg vs. Sid video before Hogan is even out of the ring and
the first part is covered by Sting music. They mention the Goldberg
can’t touch him bit and don’t bother explaining. At one point the
video cuts back to the crowd because WCW is run by a bunch of stupid
monkeys. The fans are booing this out of the building and can you
blame them?
US
Title: Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg
Title: Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg
Sid
is still a bit bloody from earlier in the night. Hall
and Nash jump Goldberg during the entrance, further making me wonder
why he has six state troopers flanking him. Is
it in case one of the boys takes a shot at him in
the back? Sid jumps
Goldberg in the aisle and the brawl (this won’t be a match) is on.
Goldberg shrugs it off and
drops Sid over the barricade.
is still a bit bloody from earlier in the night. Hall
and Nash jump Goldberg during the entrance, further making me wonder
why he has six state troopers flanking him. Is
it in case one of the boys takes a shot at him in
the back? Sid jumps
Goldberg in the aisle and the brawl (this won’t be a match) is on.
Goldberg shrugs it off and
drops Sid over the barricade.
The
referee stops things so Sid can blade again but Sid comes up
swinging. It really seems like they’re trying to make Sid out to be
a face here. A big boot drops Goldberg and we hit a camel clutch.
Goldberg does an impressive
power up into an electric chair drop for two and cranks on the neck.
The blood is just flowing out of Sid’s head. They
slug it out even more with Sid getting weaker from the blood loss.
Tony: “This is the darnedest thing I’ve ever seen.” Is it Tony?
Is it the darnedest? Goldberg
hammers him even more in the corner and Sid falls to his knees to
make the referee stop it.
referee stops things so Sid can blade again but Sid comes up
swinging. It really seems like they’re trying to make Sid out to be
a face here. A big boot drops Goldberg and we hit a camel clutch.
Goldberg does an impressive
power up into an electric chair drop for two and cranks on the neck.
The blood is just flowing out of Sid’s head. They
slug it out even more with Sid getting weaker from the blood loss.
Tony: “This is the darnedest thing I’ve ever seen.” Is it Tony?
Is it the darnedest? Goldberg
hammers him even more in the corner and Sid falls to his knees to
make the referee stop it.
Rating:
D+. The blood looked great but
if they’re trying to do the Austin turn at Wrestlemania XIII (note
that Goldberg didn’t turn here and wrestled like he always does),
they’re really missing the point. I’m not going to care about Sid
after all those months of destroying cruiserweights and not selling
for Benoit because he had a great cut in a seven minute match and
didn’t even get pinned. Try
again WCW, because this isn’t going to work.
D+. The blood looked great but
if they’re trying to do the Austin turn at Wrestlemania XIII (note
that Goldberg didn’t turn here and wrestled like he always does),
they’re really missing the point. I’m not going to care about Sid
after all those months of destroying cruiserweights and not selling
for Benoit because he had a great cut in a seven minute match and
didn’t even get pinned. Try
again WCW, because this isn’t going to work.
Rick
Steiner helps Sid to the back. Do you want him to be a face or not?
To be fair it wasn’t really clear, but Sid wanting to walk out on his
own and wanting to fight Goldberg again looked like a face move to
me.
Steiner helps Sid to the back. Do you want him to be a face or not?
To be fair it wasn’t really clear, but Sid wanting to walk out on his
own and wanting to fight Goldberg again looked like a face move to
me.
Heenan
tries to say Sid’s streak is intact to keep up the stupid story.
tries to say Sid’s streak is intact to keep up the stupid story.
We
look at Ric and Kimberly in the hotel on Monday. This comes off as
an excuse to see Kimberly in lingerie. That’s not a complaint by the
way.
look at Ric and Kimberly in the hotel on Monday. This comes off as
an excuse to see Kimberly in lingerie. That’s not a complaint by the
way.
Here’s
Sting to say he came here for a fight, so if anyone wants a shot at
the belt later tonight,
come get him.
Sting to say he came here for a fight, so if anyone wants a shot at
the belt later tonight,
come get him.
Ric
Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Strap
match with the two of them tied together and wins coming by pin or
submission. Just bring the
Filthy Animals out now to get this over with. Page
hides on the floor to start before they trade shots in the corner.
They head outside with Page
being pulled into the post before going up the aisle and into the
crowd. Page nails him in
the back with the strap but Flair chops him back.
match with the two of them tied together and wins coming by pin or
submission. Just bring the
Filthy Animals out now to get this over with. Page
hides on the floor to start before they trade shots in the corner.
They head outside with Page
being pulled into the post before going up the aisle and into the
crowd. Page nails him in
the back with the strap but Flair chops him back.
To
ringside again with Flair kissing Kimberly. He’s had a good night so
far. Page hammers away and
busts Flair open, though it’s not as good as Sid’s cut. They
slug it out for a good while before Page takes him to the announcers’
table for a whipping. Back
in and Flair hits him low to take over again, followed by more chops
and a second low blow. They’re really not trying anything special
here.
ringside again with Flair kissing Kimberly. He’s had a good night so
far. Page hammers away and
busts Flair open, though it’s not as good as Sid’s cut. They
slug it out for a good while before Page takes him to the announcers’
table for a whipping. Back
in and Flair hits him low to take over again, followed by more chops
and a second low blow. They’re really not trying anything special
here.
The
knee drop misses Page’s head as is the custom and
it’s time to go for the leg. Flair wraps the strap around Page’s
throat and puts on the Figure Four, only to have Page make the ropes.
Now it’s Page hitting him
low a few times to take over, setting
up the Diamond Cutter for….the finish but not a pin. It’s a weird
ending as Robinson counts twice, Flair moves his foot a bit, and
Robinson stops before three but calls for the bell anyway. I
think Flair was supposed to get his foot on the ropes but didn’t make
it.
knee drop misses Page’s head as is the custom and
it’s time to go for the leg. Flair wraps the strap around Page’s
throat and puts on the Figure Four, only to have Page make the ropes.
Now it’s Page hitting him
low a few times to take over, setting
up the Diamond Cutter for….the finish but not a pin. It’s a weird
ending as Robinson counts twice, Flair moves his foot a bit, and
Robinson stops before three but calls for the bell anyway. I
think Flair was supposed to get his foot on the ropes but didn’t make
it.
Rating:
D+. This
might have been the second best match of the night, but some of that
might have been due to how much time it got. The strap really didn’t
add much and this could have been any given regular match but I guess
they wanted to tie it into the spanking idea. I’ll give you a minute
to think about Page and Flair spanking each other.
D+. This
might have been the second best match of the night, but some of that
might have been due to how much time it got. The strap really didn’t
add much and this could have been any given regular match but I guess
they wanted to tie it into the spanking idea. I’ll give you a minute
to think about Page and Flair spanking each other.
Page
nails the referee and chokes Flair with the strap, only to have
Kimberly stop David’s interference. She hits David low and hands
Page the crowbar to nail Ric in the ribs and between the legs. David
is thrown in as well for a Diamond Cutter as medics come in to help
the Flairs. The Filthy Animals jump out of the ambulance to jump
Ric. I really don’t see why Mysterio was injured but this gives me
another excuse to look at Torrie so whatever.
nails the referee and chokes Flair with the strap, only to have
Kimberly stop David’s interference. She hits David low and hands
Page the crowbar to nail Ric in the ribs and between the legs. David
is thrown in as well for a Diamond Cutter as medics come in to help
the Flairs. The Filthy Animals jump out of the ambulance to jump
Ric. I really don’t see why Mysterio was injured but this gives me
another excuse to look at Torrie so whatever.
Sting
vs. ???
vs. ???
We
have less than nine minutes to go in the show counting entrances.
Answering the challenge: Goldberg, because screw Starrcade and
drawing money and all that. No US Title with him of course. Tony
says this is non-title despite Sting issuing a challenge for a title
shot. Sting heads outside before the bell but actually has a point:
there’s no referee. Cue Charles Robinson with no injuries from the
previous match for the opening bell with less than six minutes to go
in the show.
have less than nine minutes to go in the show counting entrances.
Answering the challenge: Goldberg, because screw Starrcade and
drawing money and all that. No US Title with him of course. Tony
says this is non-title despite Sting issuing a challenge for a title
shot. Sting heads outside before the bell but actually has a point:
there’s no referee. Cue Charles Robinson with no injuries from the
previous match for the opening bell with less than six minutes to go
in the show.
Goldberg
kicks away in the corner and hits an awkward clothesline. They head
outside with Goldberg in full control and sending Sting into the
barricade for about the millionth time tonight. Goldberg
clotheslines the post, allowing Sting to hit the top rope splash for
two. Sting spears Goldberg down but Goldberg pops to his feet and
kicks him in the face. The real spear hits the buckle, setting up
three straight Stinger Splashes. That goes nowhere and it’s spear
and Jackhammer for the pin in just over three minutes.
kicks away in the corner and hits an awkward clothesline. They head
outside with Goldberg in full control and sending Sting into the
barricade for about the millionth time tonight. Goldberg
clotheslines the post, allowing Sting to hit the top rope splash for
two. Sting spears Goldberg down but Goldberg pops to his feet and
kicks him in the face. The real spear hits the buckle, setting up
three straight Stinger Splashes. That goes nowhere and it’s spear
and Jackhammer for the pin in just over three minutes.
Rating:
C. This was actually
entertaining while it lasted but my goodness they just wasted their
guaranteed Starrcade main event for a three minute match. But hey,
at least it was surprising! No one knew it was coming and there was
no way to make extra money off the match but at least it shocking.
C. This was actually
entertaining while it lasted but my goodness they just wasted their
guaranteed Starrcade main event for a three minute match. But hey,
at least it was surprising! No one knew it was coming and there was
no way to make extra money off the match but at least it shocking.
Goldberg
is handed the belt and announced as the new champion. Tony thinks
there might have been some confusion but I’ll chalk it up to Tony
being stupid. Goldberg leaves so Sting yells at the referee about it
not being a title match. Robinson gets a Death Drop to end the show.
So let me get this straight: Sid might be a face and Sting is a
heel. What kind of bizarre world have I stumbled into?
is handed the belt and announced as the new champion. Tony thinks
there might have been some confusion but I’ll chalk it up to Tony
being stupid. Goldberg leaves so Sting yells at the referee about it
not being a title match. Robinson gets a Death Drop to end the show.
So let me get this straight: Sid might be a face and Sting is a
heel. What kind of bizarre world have I stumbled into?
Overall
Rating: D-. Yet somehow, I
didn’t hate this. I don’t
know if it was just the show being far less dull than their recent
disasters (namely Fall Brawl) or it actually being WAY tighter than
Monday’s nightmare, but I didn’t hate this show. Now
that being said, this show is still a disaster, wasting all kinds of
potential money and throwing stuff at the screen with the hopes that
something sticks, but it could have been worse.
Rating: D-. Yet somehow, I
didn’t hate this. I don’t
know if it was just the show being far less dull than their recent
disasters (namely Fall Brawl) or it actually being WAY tighter than
Monday’s nightmare, but I didn’t hate this show. Now
that being said, this show is still a disaster, wasting all kinds of
potential money and throwing stuff at the screen with the hopes that
something sticks, but it could have been worse.
Keeping
these acts short was the best thing they could have done, as it keeps
the fans from getting too insulted by what they’re sitting through.
It’s a horrible show for
sure, but there’s something about it that I kind of liked. Granted
that might have just been Kimberly and Torrie looking great on
multiple occasions but the show was such a switch over the messes
I’ve been sitting through that it was hard to hate.
these acts short was the best thing they could have done, as it keeps
the fans from getting too insulted by what they’re sitting through.
It’s a horrible show for
sure, but there’s something about it that I kind of liked. Granted
that might have just been Kimberly and Torrie looking great on
multiple occasions but the show was such a switch over the messes
I’ve been sitting through that it was hard to hate.
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